Feeling odd

***Quickened*** · Dec 8th 2009, 10:54 PM

Thanks for the prayers everyone! Its feels good to know that i have brothers and sisters in Christ who will petition the Lord on my behalf.

Forgive me if i goof this information.... The Triglycerides and Glucose levels were a tiny bit higher than normal. As of right now they are recommending a slight diet adjustment and exercise. I will then have more testing down the road and then another exam i guess. That is unless these symptoms are reoccuring then i need to get in sooner.

Right now they are having me go back in 6 months with another blood test two weeks prior to that.

I have been feeling improved these last couple of days so time will tell i suppose!
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If i could tack on one more prayer request. I've been feeling downtrodden lately spiritually. There are some things going on and I havent been to church in a while. I feel indifferent in a sense.

For those that know me here on the board know that i was saved out of Catholicism. It was maybe a year or two before I inadvertently came to this board. Since then i have tried my best to without bias to study God's word, the church and the doctrines therein. Over the course of my time studying i have been blessed with a better and more solid understanding of God's word. I am by far no means a mature Christian (at least in my measure). But during studying points of strife between various sides within protestant Christianity I have taken notice of the various attitudes that people tend to get. This includes myself.

I have seen 1 side criticize the other over a theological understanding. I have seen people become haughty, prideful, misrepresent others. I have seen people border on that edge of declaring another side unsaved.

Last time i checked we aren't saved by our theological understanding. We are saved by Christ's work on the cross period. How is it that people forget this? We all gain knowledge at different paces. It took me a while on this very board to understand the importance of baptism. But because of a very patient and kind man i was able to understand. Not only that but he baptized me in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I wasn't anathematized because it took me a while.

Its amazing to me that people go this far. Instead of taking time and working with the individual people are more interested in prohibiting the Lord's supper or Church discipline. It really seems to me that the more knowledge people gain the more haughty they become. They lack the love, patience, kindness and understanding that a Christian should have.

I have been effected by this. I am sure i acted arrogantly in the past myself (and for that i ask utter forgiveness from those i offended and from my heavenly Father in whose sight i have sinned)

Its all just left me a little off put. Indifferent. Abandoned.

I think what troubles me most is when i thought i had a great church for over 2 years I didnt. When i left no one either bothered to contact me. Which has been done in the past when someone hasnt attended. They would visit the person. I didnt even get an email. Not even for the small bible studies that i used to attend on Friday.

I feel as though growth stopped. I need to find a different church but that zeal isnt there. I've just been living. I still read God's word and pray (not as much as i should) but i see my growth slowed to a halt. Times like this really make me wonder.

There were times when i desired to be in the ministry. Looking at bible colleges or thinking of being an elder or deacon but... i dont even know God's plan for me. I am getting stressed just typing this.

Thats why it was great and meaningful to see you guys stand by me in prayer. I dont have anyone in the physical world on the other side of the screen that would. Means more than you know.

I've been holding this in for a while. 8 months? Maybe more. I need God to refill me! To stir me up! To forgive my stubbornness. To soften my heart and make me new and fresh so i can boldly work for His kingdom! I need to be renewed!

***IMINXTC*** · Dec 8th 2009, 11:07 PM

That's good news on the medical report! Something that might be controlled by diet etc. Thanks for the update, and we will continue to pray, especially for that next appointment.

Bringing you before the LORD also for your spiritual vitality and asking that you be given fresh new beginnings and insights to your walk, and that you'll be encouraged, to forge ahead in His strength.

Praying against discouragement in this nonstop battle between error and Biblical truth, aware that we are saved by Christ alone and are complete in Him, but cannot retreat from challenging all things which purport to bring salvation... but cannot... lest our loved-ones and others put their faith in things that will not save.

Asking for extra grace for you and a powerful leading of the Holy Spirit concerning your next step in faith.

**Diggindeeper** · Dec 9th 2009, 03:19 AM

By all means, do the diet modification and some exercise. Especially do what he says about diet. I am praying that this will correct itself as you learn to eat and drink differently. Stay away from sugar, especially.

As to the second half of your post, since this is the Prayer forum, I suggest taking this to another forum where we can discuss things with you.

Meanwhile Brian, here is something that may help you to know what kind of church NOT to look for, but what kind of preacher to look for. Meaning one that hurts deeply over the things that have happened in so many churches. One that is able to actually weep over sin in today's churches.

David Wilkerson On Weird Manifestations
113,377 views
sermonindex

Praying that you can get past this, and get back to where you were. I know in my heart that is where you want to be, and just remember, God gives us the desires of our heart. So with that in mind, I am praying that He'll give you a GREAT desire to get back to where you left off. In another church perhaps. But back to where you were.

I am so sorry you have left that church, and no one has even contacted you. That says a lot about the church where you were attending. You know, I remember reading that our Lord looked out, over Jerusalem, and actually WEPT. Because his heart was broken with compassion over the people. But today compassion is something in short supply. Says a lot about any of us...especially a body of believers, meeting together, studying together, learning together. How then can we allow one of "us" to just walk away, and never contact them?

I love you, little Brother, and have great respect for you, and for the calling that I KNOW is still on your life! Please know that I am praying. I promise.

***moonglow*** · Dec 9th 2009, 03:56 AM

I will pray the diet change and exercise helps and you have no more problems. As far as what you are seeing on the board hurting you..I understand that. You aren't the only one. I'll tell you what I tell others that post this concern and upset about our behavior on here (not excusing it! just explaining it)..first there are tares among the wheat even here...even in every church...on every Christian site. The wolves among the sheep that will always keep things stirred up. Second...even the disciples argued among themselves right in front of Jesus at times! Of course at that time it hadn't been given the Holy Spirit either. Later we see in Paul's writing the very stern warnings against this kind of thing...something we don't take seriously enough for sure.

This is when its most important to keep our eyes on Jesus. Not on fallible human beings...(there is a reason God calls us children...

I went through a time when because of past hurts in churches we stopped attending for gosh two to three years. Last spring though we found a wonderful church that has a branch set up just for people like us. Those that have been hurt by religion or uncaring churches. Its been great and worth the wait.

I will pray the Lord strengthens you and draws you closer to Him once again.

God bless

**Vhayes** · Dec 9th 2009, 05:44 AM

Thank you for the update, Quickened and yes, I will certainly lift you in prayer in this new way.
V

**Amos_with_goats** · Dec 9th 2009, 08:20 AM

Lord I thank You. Thank You that You give us the opportunity to come before YOu.

Father I thank You for placing the words of my bothers prayer here for me to read. Lord I DO ask that You would hear and answer this desire to serve You.

Lord, I am sorry that I too get caught up in the foolishness we have as men. These understandings we cling to. Father help us to hold to what is true, and to speak Truth where we can and to do so with Love. Lord I thank You for my time in darkness, for the light You show me. I thank You for the common testimony I share with so many of my brothers and sisters.

Please bless Your servant and hear and answer this request. Please cause this child of Yours to know You are near and to serve You in ways they can not even imagine now.

IN Your Son's Name,

Amen

***Quickened*** · Dec 9th 2009, 04:50 PM

Originally Posted by Diggindeeper

By all means, do the diet modification and some exercise. Especially do what he says about diet. I am praying that this will correct itself as you learn to eat and drink differently. Stay away from sugar, especially.

How did that old saying go? "I covet your prayers"? Was that it?

As to the second half of your post, since this is the Prayer forum, I suggest taking this to another forum where we can discuss things with you.

where should i make another thread? Maybe a mod could break it off here and magically teleport it?

Before that happens i will continue

Meanwhile Brian, here is something that may help you to know what kind of church NOT to look for, but what kind of preacher to look for. Meaning one that hurts deeply over the things that have happened in so many churches. One that is able to actually weep over sin in today's churches.

David Wilkerson On Weird Manifestations
113,377 views
sermonindex

Wilkerson has had some good insight in the past. I will give this a listen later this afternoon.

To be honest there was a church i was thinking of transitioning to. I attended 2 maybe 3 times. I spoke with that pastor about some of my concerns and he agreed with how I was interpreting the text.

I explained the issues i had with my previous church and the issues my fiancee had. He was understanding, insightful and kind. His approach has been good. There is no doubt from our meetings that He has been called to the pastoral office.

I guess all the grief that has built up and prevented me from moving further. I would like to reiterate that i usually keep stuff to myself and maybe thats my downfall.

Praying that you can get past this, and get back to where you were. I know in my heart that is where you want to be, and just remember, God gives us the desires of our heart. So with that in mind, I am praying that He'll give you a GREAT desire to get back to where you left off. In another church perhaps. But back to where you were.

Thats the tricky thing. To interpret God's intentions from our desires. As humans we tend to mix the two. People think that God wants them to do one thing when in actuality they are being led astray by their own hearts.

Again i must say thanks for your prayers. While i can sometimes muster my own. I acknowledge that I am lacking in that area currently.

I am so sorry you have left that church, and no one has even contacted you. That says a lot about the church where you were attending. You know, I remember reading that our Lord looked out, over Jerusalem, and actually WEPT. Because his heart was broken with compassion over the people. But today compassion is something in short supply. Says a lot about any of us...especially a body of believers, meeting together, studying together, learning together. How then can we allow one of "us" to just walk away, and never contact them?

I love you, little Brother, and have great respect for you, and for the calling that I KNOW is still on your life! Please know that I am praying. I promise.

My walk contains the struggles and obstacles it does for a reason. I can look at those things and say "The Christian life was not intended to be easy" i can reference the struggles that brothers and sisters in Christ have endured before my time. I can then notice that my issues are nothing at all. Men and women have gone though hell and highwater for the cause of Christ. Thats how i can gauge my own maturity. What am i doing for God's kingdom? Where does He want me? Sometimes i think i just may know and other times i am clueless.

If a mod wants to transfer this part of this thread to somewhere else thats ok by me. I may need some advice or Godly council on my walk with the Lord. Infact i probably do but am too stubborn to out right admit it.

I'll return this afternoon. To comment further. Thanks again to my brothers and sisters in Christ for chatting with me.

***daughter*** · Dec 9th 2009, 08:08 PM

I was so pleased to see you post again, and to hear that you're feeling physically better. Also, I wanted to say that I'm honoured you'd share with us your spiritual trials... and it resonated with me, because I've been in similar straights myself recently, "just living".

Recently, and borne up by much prayer from my brothers and sisters in Christ, I am beginning to feel more like His daughter again. But something I've realised, very important, is that we are His children, whether we feel like it or not. When we feel lost, abandoned, or just dead inside, He's still carrying us, because we can't carry ourselves. We probably grow more in His grace in the still dark times then we do when we're on fire... at least, that's how I feel about it.

When I was a new Christian I was on fire for Jesus, and if you had told me I'd go through days of deadness and spiritual numbness I couldn't have imagined it. I've had a few such dry times since then. I think this is normal.

If you had planted a seed, you would put it in a dark place, then you would alternate night and day, light and darkness, warmth, bitter cold, rain and sun. Too much of any one thing, and the seed dies... too much rain, it rots, too much sun, it withers.

If God never left us to feel the dark, or to yearn out of darkness towards light, we'd not grow. His mercies and blessings have to vary, in order for us bear much fruit for Him.

I'll carry on praying for your health, but also your spiritual needs. I know that God is looking after you there at all times.

God bless.

***Quickened*** · Dec 9th 2009, 09:35 PM

Originally Posted by moonglow

I will pray the diet change and exercise helps and you have no more problems.

Thank you!

As far as what you are seeing on the board hurting you..I understand that. You aren't the only one. I'll tell you what I tell others that post this concern and upset about our behavior on here (not excusing it! just explaining it)..

Just wanted to add a quick note of clairifaction. Its not just here either. I've posted on other boards. The toughie is real life (not that this isnt real) because i tend to clam up. I find that i am better in written form where i can take my time to word things. I am atrocious at debating things on the fly!

first there are tares among the wheat even here...even in every church...on every Christian site. The wolves among the sheep that will always keep things stirred up. Second...even the disciples argued among themselves right in front of Jesus at times! Of course at that time it hadn't been given the Holy Spirit either. Later we see in Paul's writing the very stern warnings against this kind of thing...something we don't take seriously enough for sure.

You are absolutely right. It never used to bother me. I somewhat liked hearing different sides even if one was clearly is err. I felt that i could better prepare myself in season and out of season.

I guess lately it grieves me to see the body of Christ so divided on certain issues. Its one thing to prepare ones self as they grow and mature. Its one of the big reasons i try to study and learn as much as I can about the whole of the protestant faith. There will be times when people make a statement about a particular denomination and a lot of times it may be simply a logical fallacy or just a plain misunderstanding.

But moreover your point is that people that bring in erroneous doctrine or beliefs and mislead the sheep. That grieves me far worse.

You mentioned the warnings about such things. Could you provide scripture? I pulled out esword and my bible yesterday searching the NT for a specific passage but i couldnt find it. Same thing today.

This is when its most important to keep our eyes on Jesus. Not on fallible human beings...(there is a reason God calls us children...

True. Maybe i lost sight of that as funny as that may sound. I would lay out mentally things that i need to understand better and learn about. I didnt properly augment that "learning" with prayer and time in the word. Granted i was in the word but I see that as two different things. (Not sure how to explain that)

There was a time when i was listening to lots of sermons, studying scripture, praying. It was fruitful. Then i came to an area where things i listened to were criticized (sometimes rightly sometimes not) and that eventually dissipated.

To me its like a small leak in a tire. First my in take of sermons decreased, my studying decreased, my prayer decreased, Christian "interaction" (lack of a better word) decreased and then church attendance.

Now i'm running on flat. Praise God that He is gracious enough to show me when i am struggling and give me the strength to get the ball rolling on fixing it. As I sit here I can see that.

I went through a time when because of past hurts in churches we stopped attending for gosh two to three years. Last spring though we found a wonderful church that has a branch set up just for people like us. Those that have been hurt by religion or uncaring churches. Its been great and worth the wait.

I will pray the Lord strengthens you and draws you closer to Him once again.

God bless

Isnt that amazing? That truly shows our human side and how much we are in need of a savior. A church that should be united in Christ and putting froth fruit can be the same thing that slows the growth of a believer. But it all happens because God wills things for whatever reason. Be they clear or not.

I praise God that He is in control. Imagine if we all got "our will"

I'm sorry to hear that you and nate went through that struggle. Its an encouragement to me really. I was feeling really cold about the whole thing but let me tell you how great it is to hear from someone else on the issue!

***moonglow*** · Dec 9th 2009, 09:51 PM

Nate will be home any minute so I don't have alot of time to post all the scriptures...but here are a couple:

Galatians 5

16 I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. 17 For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law. 24 And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. 26 Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

1 Corinthians 3:2-4 (New King James Version)

2 I fed you with milk and not with solid food; for until now you were not able to receive it, and even now you are still not able; 3 for you are still carnal. For where there are envy, strife, and divisions among you, are you not carnal and behaving like mere men? 4 For when one says, “I am of Paul,” and another, “I am of Apollos,” are you not carnal? (read the full chapter on that...see even Paul dealt with division in the church).

1 Timothy 6:3-5 (New King James Version)

Error and Greed

3 If anyone teaches otherwise and does not consent to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which accords with godliness, 4 he is proud, knowing nothing, but is obsessed with disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, 5 useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself

2 Timothy 2
23 But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing that they generate strife. 24 And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient,

James 4
Pride Promotes Strife
1 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures.

This problem you are seeing (and I agree its not just on this board but every Christian board or internet site I have ever been on and in churches too) is not a new thing.

Yes is can be very damaging to especially new Christians that don't understand what is going on. But once you realize this was all going on even in the disciples time and will continue going on..it helps I think. We are in a spiritual war constantly. The foot is always fighting with the hand in the body of Christ is seems. Even Jesus said, I came NOT to bring peace, but a sword...

There is a reason for this...personally I think is a way of shifting the wheat from the tares..

Glad I could help and yes there ARE good churches out there...don't give up!

God bless

***bc3n1*** · Dec 9th 2009, 10:03 PM

Quickened, I'm so glad to read your good report on your health. thank you for sharing about the spiritual drought you are experiencing. I pray for you and all others here and in the Body of Christ that are experiencing the same. I, too, have just gone through the same experience with a church. Praise be to our God and Father, He never changes and will never leave us or forsake us, has given us everything we need for godliness and life. I praise and adore Him forever!

***Quickened*** · Dec 13th 2009, 07:55 PM

Just a quick follow up:

Health wise i havent had this reoccur since this was posted. Things seem to be doing ok so far!

Spiritually.... well God must have heard the prayers! I have progressively felt closer to him and feel as though perhaps my heart was softened. I am thankful to you all for the prayers. It was much needed and i am feeling much better from the original post on this thread.

Thanks to everyone who prayed, dropped words of encouragement, etc. It really did help

Had a good service at church today too Praise God!

**Amos_with_goats** · Dec 14th 2009, 07:11 AM

Father,

THank You that You hear and answer the prayers of Your children! Thank You for this good report, I know that You are our strength and our Deliverer! Oh Lord please continue to fit us for Your kingdom. Work in, and through Your Children.

IN Your Son's Name,

Amen

***moonglow*** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by Quickened

Just a quick follow up:

Health wise i havent had this reoccur since this was posted. Things seem to be doing ok so far!

Spiritually.... well God must have heard the prayers! I have progressively felt closer to him and feel as though perhaps my heart was softened. I am thankful to you all for the prayers. It was much needed and i am feeling much better from the original post on this thread.

Thanks to everyone who prayed, dropped words of encouragement, etc. It really did help

Had a good service at church today too Praise God!

I thought you weren't attending a church?

Glad you are feeling better! I love going to church this time of year..

God bless

**bountyhunter** · Dec 16th 2009, 09:21 PM

Originally Posted by IsItLove?

Might want to get your blood sugar levels tested.

God Bless.

That's what I was thinking. The new meters are very inexpensive. I found out I was a type 2 diabeteic a while back. You can control this with diet and live a long healthy life (if that's what it is).