Glenn Beck wrote a novel

***Luke34*** · Dec 14th 2009, 06:34 AM

...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):

Mr. Ashton was as tall and quiet as the house became when he was in it, which wasn't all that often.

The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!

***NHL Fever*** · Dec 14th 2009, 07:32 AM

(......shudder......)

***dan*** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:28 PM

...With the royalties from all his best sellers!

**slightlypuzzled** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:45 PM

Originally Posted by Luke34

...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):

The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!

So...you never read it, but "it's predictably awful". What would make such a position predictable? I did not even know he had written a fictional piece, but now I guess I will have to look into it. I have read his political pieces, and found them quite informative...though I do not always agree with him. I am just curious what brought about such a point of view???

**slightlypuzzled** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:46 PM

Originally Posted by NHL Fever

(......shudder......)

I sense more to this as a visceral reaction???

***moonglow*** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:49 PM

My house shrinks when I walk into it...

**slightlypuzzled** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:52 PM

Originally Posted by moonglow

My house shrinks when I walk into it...

I suppose it depends on how big you are....

I had a professor in college who used to say that the intellectual space available would grow considerably when certain people would enter the room....

Of course there is the old adage, 'When does a house become a home?'....

***moonglow*** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by slightlypuzzled

I suppose it depends on how big you are....

I had a professor in college who used to say that the intellectual space available would grow considerably when certain people would enter the room....

oh that was mean...

**slightlypuzzled** · Dec 14th 2009, 03:55 PM

Originally Posted by moonglow

oh that was mean...

When you entered his class, you felt your tongue becoming sharper, and your heart becoming smaller...but the room stayed the same size...

**HisLeast** · Dec 14th 2009, 04:01 PM

Originally Posted by slightlypuzzled

So...you never read it, but "it's predictably awful". What would make such a position predictable? I did not even know he had written a fictional piece, but now I guess I will have to look into it. I have read his political pieces, and found them quite informative...though I do not always agree with him. I am just curious what brought about such a point of view???

In his defense, he did provide his opinion based on an excerpt that should make any editor choke on whatever it is editors eat to keep them alive in Earth's hostile environment.

***Firefighter*** · Dec 14th 2009, 04:28 PM

Everybody needs to buy a copy and send it to Vhayes...

That's a great practical joke until it happens to you... If I ever find out who signed me up for Kenneth Copeland's mailing list I am going to have a prayer meeting with them.

**Vhayes** · Dec 14th 2009, 04:31 PM

I need nothing filled with verbosity and pomposity written solely as a means of promoting the views of one who spreads the love of country through fear, hate and exclusivity.

But thanks ever so much for the thought!

And if you send me one, I WILL drive to North Carolina. As soon as I have a vehicle that starts.....

**jayne** · Dec 14th 2009, 05:53 PM

Originally Posted by Luke34

...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):

The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!

Not that I'm a Glenn Beck fan, but what exactly is your objection to the sentence?

Is it the structure? The form? The topic?

And how do you know that the quote is "pretty representative of the general quality of the prose" of the book, if you didn't read the book in it's entirety?

Not that I'm picking on you.

***Firefighter*** · Dec 14th 2009, 06:08 PM

Originally Posted by Vhayes

And if you send me one, I WILL drive to North Carolina. As soon as I have a vehicle that starts.....

Is that a promise???

**HisLeast** · Dec 14th 2009, 06:09 PM

Originally Posted by jayne

Not that I'm a Glenn Beck fan, but what exactly is your objection to the sentence?

Is it the structure? The form? The topic?

The mixed up similes. The character is described as being "tall and silent as", but the simile only makes sense when talking about silence. We might assume he didn't forget, and that he's actually as tall as his house is quiet, but that doesn't make any sense to me.

Now I'm not a Glen Beck hater, but if that writing is an indication of what the rest of the book is like, it makes me hesitant to pick it up.