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Thread: Glenn Beck wrote a novel

  1. #1
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    Glenn Beck wrote a novel

    ...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):
    Mr. Ashton was as tall and quiet as the house became when he was in it, which wasn't all that often.
    The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!
    "We are symbols and inhabit symbols; workmen, work, and tools, words and things, birth and death, all are emblems; but we sympathize with the symbols, and being infatuated with the economical uses of things, we do not know that they are thoughts." - Emerson, "The Poet" (Essays, Second Series)

  2. #2
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    (......shudder......)

  3. #3

    May God Bless him...

    ...With the royalties from all his best sellers!
    PROV 21:3 To do righteousness and justice Is more acceptable to Jehovah than sacrifice.-American Standard Version 1901

    MT 24:43 But know this, that if the goodman of the house had known in what watch the thief would come, he would have watched, and would not have suffered his house to be broken up.


    As opposed to the bad man that does nothing?

    AMOS 6:3 Ye that put far away the evil day, and cause the seat of violence to come near;

    GAL 4:25 For this Agar is mount Sinai in Arabia, and answereth to Jerusalem which now is, and is in bondage with her children.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke34 View Post
    ...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):

    The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!
    So...you never read it, but "it's predictably awful". What would make such a position predictable? I did not even know he had written a fictional piece, but now I guess I will have to look into it. I have read his political pieces, and found them quite informative...though I do not always agree with him. I am just curious what brought about such a point of view???
    God happens!
    'I Can Only Imagine'

    Bless the Beasts and the Children:
    http://youtu.be/AhR36gV6vW4

    On cautionary note:
    Quote Originally Posted by ProjectPeter
    When they say something... it is about anyone's guess what it is they really mean... but NEVER ask for clarification of their mysterious language... they are often very happy to give it and that's when the discussion goes FREAKY!

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by NHL Fever View Post
    (......shudder......)
    I sense more to this as a visceral reaction???
    God happens!
    'I Can Only Imagine'

    Bless the Beasts and the Children:
    http://youtu.be/AhR36gV6vW4

    On cautionary note:
    Quote Originally Posted by ProjectPeter
    When they say something... it is about anyone's guess what it is they really mean... but NEVER ask for clarification of their mysterious language... they are often very happy to give it and that's when the discussion goes FREAKY!

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    My house shrinks when I walk into it...
    "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

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    Quote Originally Posted by moonglow View Post
    My house shrinks when I walk into it...
    I suppose it depends on how big you are....

    I had a professor in college who used to say that the intellectual space available would grow considerably when certain people would enter the room....

    Of course there is the old adage, 'When does a house become a home?'....
    God happens!
    'I Can Only Imagine'

    Bless the Beasts and the Children:
    http://youtu.be/AhR36gV6vW4

    On cautionary note:
    Quote Originally Posted by ProjectPeter
    When they say something... it is about anyone's guess what it is they really mean... but NEVER ask for clarification of their mysterious language... they are often very happy to give it and that's when the discussion goes FREAKY!

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by slightlypuzzled View Post
    I suppose it depends on how big you are....

    I had a professor in college who used to say that the intellectual space available would grow considerably when certain people would enter the room....
    oh that was mean...
    "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

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    Quote Originally Posted by moonglow View Post
    oh that was mean...
    When you entered his class, you felt your tongue becoming sharper, and your heart becoming smaller...but the room stayed the same size...
    God happens!
    'I Can Only Imagine'

    Bless the Beasts and the Children:
    http://youtu.be/AhR36gV6vW4

    On cautionary note:
    Quote Originally Posted by ProjectPeter
    When they say something... it is about anyone's guess what it is they really mean... but NEVER ask for clarification of their mysterious language... they are often very happy to give it and that's when the discussion goes FREAKY!

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by slightlypuzzled View Post
    So...you never read it, but "it's predictably awful". What would make such a position predictable? I did not even know he had written a fictional piece, but now I guess I will have to look into it. I have read his political pieces, and found them quite informative...though I do not always agree with him. I am just curious what brought about such a point of view???
    In his defense, he did provide his opinion based on an excerpt that should make any editor choke on whatever it is editors eat to keep them alive in Earth's hostile environment.

  11. #11
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    Everybody needs to buy a copy and send it to Vhayes...



    That's a great practical joke until it happens to you... If I ever find out who signed me up for Kenneth Copeland's mailing list I am going to have a prayer meeting with them.
    For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived? ~ Deuteronomy 5:26

    If you're not prepared to risk your very life for your "enemy" you have no right to speak to him of love. ~ Daughter

    Many say they are called... but I am pretty convinced that with many of them it was the wrong number. ~ Project Peter

  12. #12
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    I need nothing filled with verbosity and pomposity written solely as a means of promoting the views of one who spreads the love of country through fear, hate and exclusivity.

    But thanks ever so much for the thought!

    And if you send me one, I WILL drive to North Carolina. As soon as I have a vehicle that starts.....

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    Quote Originally Posted by Luke34 View Post
    ...and it is, predictably, awful. Not that I read it, heaven forbid, but here's the only quote I remember from glancing over it in a bookstore (which quote is pretty representative of the general quality of the prose):

    The Christmas Sweater by Glenn Beck, everybody, in which the presence of one "Mr. Ashton" causes a house to spontaneously change size! And in which Glenn Beck is an inconceivably terrible writer (in addition to being an inconceivably terrible everything else)!
    Not that I'm a Glenn Beck fan, but what exactly is your objection to the sentence?

    Is it the structure? The form? The topic?

    And how do you know that the quote is "pretty representative of the general quality of the prose" of the book, if you didn't read the book in it's entirety?

    Not that I'm picking on you.
    ".....it's your nickel"

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vhayes View Post
    And if you send me one, I WILL drive to North Carolina. As soon as I have a vehicle that starts.....
    Is that a promise???
    For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived? ~ Deuteronomy 5:26

    If you're not prepared to risk your very life for your "enemy" you have no right to speak to him of love. ~ Daughter

    Many say they are called... but I am pretty convinced that with many of them it was the wrong number. ~ Project Peter

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by jayne View Post
    Not that I'm a Glenn Beck fan, but what exactly is your objection to the sentence?

    Is it the structure? The form? The topic?
    The mixed up similes. The character is described as being "tall and silent as", but the simile only makes sense when talking about silence. We might assume he didn't forget, and that he's actually as tall as his house is quiet, but that doesn't make any sense to me.

    Now I'm not a Glen Beck hater, but if that writing is an indication of what the rest of the book is like, it makes me hesitant to pick it up.

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