Glenn Beck wrote a novel

[Luke34]

Sorry, but if you openly say you didn't read the book, but you proceed to claim that it's "awful", I can't take your review seriously. You have no credibility in giving us a review of the book if you never read it.

I'm not going to read the book, and this wasn't a "review." Okay, I said it was "awful," and I guess I don't "know" that if I haven't read the whole thing, but unless the few pages I read are a dramatic departure from Beck's usual style, this book is terrible. He cannot write. Moby-Dick would not be a good book if it were written in Beck's style. Here, you can "search inside" the book on Amazon. If two sentences of that stuff doesn't make you die a lot inside, you have entirely different literary tastes than I and you probably shouldn't listen to me about books anyway. To me, Beck's writing is what usually happens when a non-writer celebrity (non-fiction-writer, anyway) writes a novel: The worst sort of "tell don't show" writing, with plodding, ugly, literal language, with the kind of sentences a third-grader would write (short and staccato but not in a "good" way like Hemingway or McCarthy in his more concise moods). Desperately failed attempts at being a real writer by using dialogue tags like "commanded gently." Words like "smartly." Arrant clichés. Fragments (ha! just kidding).

And yeah, that simile. From what I can tell this is absolutely not a story where the house changes size based on who's in it (Glenn Beck writing sci-fi?), it's just that Beck does not know how to construct a sentence (syntactically there should be another "as" after "tall and," although being grammatically correct would not come within a mile of saving that sentence).

As to why I would be criticizing a heartwarming Christmas tale: because it's bad. And because Glenn Beck is taking advantage of his celebrity to sell an awfully-written novel that would get exactly no attention if he weren't Glenn Beck.

[Vhayes]

It's a book about personal/holiday redemption, of course. Think A Wonderful Life.

Ok - that I'll buy into.

And I may have to borrow the book so I can read it and see if his writing style is less abrasive than his oratory.

It IS a personal thing with me. I happen to find Jon Stewart very, very funny. I know people who find him asinine. To each his own. I have reasons for disliking Beck but they are my reasons and no one else's. I'll share them or not, doesn't matter to me. But I DO happen to have the right to dislike the way he approaches things. I DO think his "research" is either flawed or cherry picked to show what he wishes it to show.

But I'm also a moral equivilancy-ist... so hey, what do I know.

Now - let's all agree that Obama is a waste and a Muslim and a terrorist and not a citizen and a ......

[Studyin'2Show]

It's a book about personal/holiday redemption, of course. Think A Wonderful Life.

That's it in a nutshell! It's a sappy Christmas book. Evidently, many people have read it and felt they needed to reconnect with God or so I gather from reading some of the reviews by people who actually read it. Also, the live movie theatre event supposedly had stories of others who had read the book and found some spiritual connection. From what I can tell they are not a bunch of Mormons but are other Christmas celebrating people.

As for the OP that takes a quote from the book it what seems to be an attempt to show that Mr. Beck doesn't know how to compose a proper simile. Considering the fantasy premise of the book being that this magic house somehow changes size depending on who is in it, the quote makes absolute sense. As stupid as it might be that a house would get tall and quiet or a reindeer would have a light-up nose and fly or a snowman would have a magic hat that makes him alive, that's what people seem to like for Christmas stories.

[Steve M]

Jon Stewart IS very, very funny. And he usually makes the funny by being asinine. It's part of his shtick.
...

Would that Glenn's writing skills were also deliberate. I fear not.

I think Luke has hit it with this sentence.

...what usually happens when a non-writer celebrity (non-fiction-writer, anyway) writes a novel:

I like Glenn. I reserve the right to mock the writing of mawkish and maudlin holiday books, no matter who was writing it.

[Studyin'2Show]

Just one question. Luke, did you actually go into a bookstore and read the first few pages of the book and just happened across that quote?

Oh, and Jon Stewart is funny and Steve you can mock whoever and whatever you like.

[moonglow]

Studyin'2Show: From what I understand it has no dogmatic info but only sappy Christmas stuff that people seem to like.

I guess I don't know what sappy means or what you mean by dogmatic..

But then I read your other posts on here just now:

It's not a book about how to be a Mormon, or what Mormons believe, or even Jesus' brother It's a sappy, happy, magical Christmas book. It's no more dogmatic than Rudolph the Reindeer or Frosty the Snowman which don't mention Jesus or anything scriptural either.

It's a sappy Christmas book. Evidently, many people have read it and felt they needed to reconnect with God or so I gather from reading some of the reviews by people who actually read it. Also, the live movie theatre event supposedly had stories of others who had read the book and found some spiritual connection. From what I can tell they are not a bunch of Mormons but are other Christmas celebrating people.

Now I am more confused. If its a made up story like Rudolph the Reindeer why would people feel the need to reconnect with God? And which God? Ours or the Mormons?

But what is sappy and what do you mean by dogmatic that you have used in almost every post...that is what is confusing me. Thanks.

God bless

[Steve M]

Just one question. Luke, did you actually go into a bookstore and read the first few pages of the book and just happened across that quote?

Oh, and Jon Stewart is funny and Steve you can mock whoever and whatever you like.

Did everybody read the salon article I linked? Luke, you should read it, if you didn't. It pretty much lays out the whole thing, start to finish.

I want to talk now about the bigoted undercurrent in it.

Bigoted, you say? How so? Who are accusing?

Me, first of all. Then the 'educated liberal elite.'

I need to admit right here that I read high-falutin books. I got me all college-educated up.

Let's face it, right here and now; less educated people are going to like slightly less nuanced Christmas stories.

And Capra? Was pretty much in the business of writing propoganda, pure and simple.

Emphasis on simple.

See, I reserved that right to mock Beck's book... but then it occured to me that what I was doing was saying 'why on earth do the proles like their simple and unvarnished fare? Can't they wrap their minds around better writing and better concepts? Why would they write that? Why would they celebrate that?'

And why exactly did he sell so many copies of that book that it made best-seller lists?

http://www.nytimes.com/pages/books/bestseller/

Am I not sneering down my nose at those who prefer macaroni and cheese to caviar?

Am I not laughing at those who like Bambi more than a more complex, more realistic fable? (oh, how I loved Pan's Labyrinth... *sigh*)

Entertainment for the masses? Oh, dear.... Shakespeare and Dickens would be ashamed of me.

[NHL Fever]

but I didn't know he wrote fiction.

Jeanne

I'm pretty sure that's all he writes.

To me, Beck's writing is what usually happens when a non-writer celebrity (non-fiction-writer, anyway) writes a novel: The worst sort of "tell don't show" writing, with plodding, ugly, literal language, with the kind of sentences a third-grader would write (short and staccato but not in a "good" way like Hemingway or McCarthy in his more concise moods). Desperately failed attempts at being a real writer by using dialogue tags like "commanded gently." Words like "smartly." Arrant clichés.

Here here.

[Jeanne D]

I'm pretty sure that's all he writes.

From your perspective, I'm sure that's true.

Jeanne

[Vhayes]

I'm not aware that he writes anything else.


Here here.

Ok - I tried to rep you for that one but couldn't. If it's any consolation to you, I spit coffee allllllll over the screen.

Great post!
V

[Studyin'2Show]

I guess I don't know what sappy means or what you mean by dogmatic..
But then I read your other posts on here just now:

Now I am more confused. If its a made up story like Rudolph the Reindeer why would people feel the need to reconnect with God? And which God? Ours or the Mormons?

But what is sappy and what do you mean by dogmatic that you have used in almost every post...that is what is confusing me. Thanks.

God bless

From dictionary.com (see number 3)

sap⋅py

  /ˈsæpi/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sap-ee] Show IPA Use sappy in a Sentence

See web results for sappy

See images of sappy

–adjective, -pi⋅er, -pi⋅est. 1. abounding in sap, as a plant. 2. full of vitality and energy. 3. Slang. silly or foolish.

(now see number 1)

dog⋅mat⋅ic

  /dɔgˈmætɪk, dɒg-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [dawg-mat-ik, dog-] Show IPA Use dogmatic in a Sentence

See web results for dogmatic

See images of dogmatic

–adjective 1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of a dogma or dogmas; doctrinal. 2. asserting opinions in a doctrinaire or arrogant manner; opinionated.

[Studyin'2Show]

And yeah, that simile. From what I can tell this is absolutely not a story where the house changes size based on who's in it (Glenn Beck writing sci-fi?), it's just that Beck does not know how to construct a sentence (syntactically there should be another "as" after "tall and," although being grammatically correct would not come within a mile of saving that sentence).

I have no idea where I got that it was about a magic house! Maybe it was the dry wit in your OP.

So, did you actually pick up the book and read the first few pages to find this quote? Just curious.

[Metamorphasis]

My mother loves Glenn Beck so too often I see him on TV, and he just gets under my skin, I am definitely not a fan

[moonglow]

From dictionary.com (see number 3)(now see number 1)

Ok... I guess I am slow today cause I don't get it in using those in your comments at all. Too many different meanings for them...which ones are you using? I thought sappy might mean funny or 'touching'...like Hallmark commercials...lol. And I thought dogmatic meant something like a doctrine. None of those links were helpful as they all gives many different definitions. Sorry..I will drop it. Just wanted to understand what you were saying..

[Studyin'2Show]

Ok... I guess I am slow today cause I don't get it in using those in your comments at all. Too many different meanings for them...which ones are you using? I thought sappy might mean funny or 'touching'...like Hallmark commercials...lol. And I thought dogmatic meant something like a doctrine. None of those links were helpful as they all gives many different definitions. Sorry..I will drop it. Just wanted to understand what you were saying..

That's why I gave you the numbers. The 3rd definition for sappy:

3. Slang. silly or foolish.

The first definition for dogmatic:

1. of, pertaining to, or of the nature of a dogma or dogmas; doctrinal.

It is a 'silly' Christmas story. It does not pertain to anything 'doctrinal'.