I agree with this completely. if your husband is living up to his part of this arrangement he loves you as much as Christ loves his church. Would Christ tell you that you can't talk to your friends or that even though you are better at finances, he should do them, or that even though you like the color blue, he hates it and you must never wear it?... O f course not! We are all human but an integral part of love, in my opinion is truly wanting that person to be happy. In your relationship with God, good works and obidience are not required (only faith in Jesus is) but if you love God, you do these things to make him happy. Love is what motivates me to purchase snowblwers for 10 feet of sidewalk. Love is what motivates my husband to budget in a fancy mop for me when it is un needed. Husbands will make mistakes and so are wives. But submitting your own will to your husband is far better then you can imagine! If he loves you and keeps his half of the deal, you get way more out of it then you ever feel that you've put in.
Originally Posted by EastTexasGal
Believe me sisters, I have had many a doubt about his decisions and about his reasoning but you know what? Even when he makse mistakes they are rarely selfish. I am submissive to my husband. But there is nothing that says I can't counsel him. He is not some King Such and such that makes decrees and exits the room. He loves me, and withthat comes respect and recognition and I take the time to make sure i let him know how I feel.
At one time, I definitely felt that submission=subservience but I have been converted! It's amazing how much better life is when you give up what you know as true and accept what god says is true!
to answer questions (USING CAPS SO YOU CAN SEE ANSWERS):
1.) Can you keep your old friends (friends you had prior to marriage or becoming engaged) or does your husband have a right to 'screen' them and decide if they are good friends for you? I CAN'T SEE WHY A HUSBAND WOULD FEEL THE NEED TO SCREEN YOUR FRIENDS. WHY WOULD HE HAVE MARRIED YOU ID HE DOESN'T TRUST YOU
2.) Same question, only what about new friends that you make after marriage. SEE ABOVE... UNLESS SOMEONE IS HURTING YOU OR YOUR MARRIAGE, I CAN SEE HOW IT MATTERS.
3.) Does your husband have to know your friends? Should he be introduced to them/acquainted with them or are they just for you? I'm especially wondering about single friends, who probably wouldn't want to be the third wheel and may not be able to 'double date' or go out as a married couples group with you and your husband. HMM, WELL, THERE IS NO RULE ON THIS BUT WHY WOULDN'T YOU WANT YOUR FRIENDS AND HUSBAND TO KNOW EACH OTHER? IF THEY ARE BOTH IMPROTANT TO YOU? I DON'T THINK THAT HE HAS TO MEET THEM PER SAY BUT I DON'T SEE WHY IT SHOULD MATTER IF HE DOES EITHER...
4.) If your husband doesn't approve of or like your friends, can you still see them? What if you see them as edifying or beneficial? ULTIMATELY, YOU SHOULD RESPCET YOUR HUSBAND DECISION I THINK. THE CATCH HERE IS WHICH RELATIONSHIP IS MORE IMPORTANT TO YOU? IN ADDITION, I CANT UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WOULD DO THAT UNLESS THERE WAS A GOOD REASON......
5.) Can a married Christian woman continue to have male friends? This is a HUGE issue for me because a good percentage of my friends are guys and I am really close to some of them. Obviously, not referring to "friends" who you are attracted to or might feel tempted to be romantic with, just platonic friends? If you can, are they still just your friends or do they have to be your husband's friends? Can you see them by yourself or do you have to have your husband as a chaperone when seeing them? YOU WOULD HAVE TO FIND SOMEONE WHO ACCEPTS THIS AS A PART OF YOUR LIFE. THAT'S ALL. I DON'T THINK HUBBY SHOULD HAVE TO CHAPERONE YOU BY ANY MEANS, THAT SEEMS EXTREME. IF I WERE YOU, I WOULD WANT MY MALE FRIENDS TO BE FRIENDS WITH HUBBY TOO, REASON BEING THAT THE CHANCES OF HIM GETTING JEALOUS ARE LESS AND CHANCES OF THE FRIEND EVER THINKING THEY HAD A "SHOT" ARE LESS TOO. IT'S JUST AN ADDED MEASURE OF BALANCE.
6.) Can a married Christian woman remain friends with an ex-boyfriend? Obviously this is a little different from #5. I have one ex I'm very close to still. We are not romantically involved anymore and were never sexually involved. Our dating relationship ended because we experienced no attraction to each other and decided to be just friends, but he's still an ex so a different situation than some guy friends I haven't had any past with. SEE ABOVE #5 IT IS YOU AND HUBBYS RELATIONSHIP. YOU DETERMINE WHAT'S APPROPRIATE BETWEEN YOURSELVES.
7.) Is there anyplace a married woman can't go to with her friends that is okay for single women? I'm talking like certain movies, clubs, etc. For instance it might be okay to see a certain movie while you're single but not when you're married? Or vice versa I guess. I CAN'T THINK OF ANY. AS LONG AS YOU ARE STICKING TO YOUR CHRISTIAN VALUES IN WHERE YOU CHOOSE TO GO, MARRIAGE DOESN'T RESTICT THIS JUST BY BEING MARRIAGE. THE ONLY THING I CAN THINK OF IS A SINGLES MIXER.... BUT THAT'S OBVIOUS!!!
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.
My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you. When your judgements come upon the earth, the people of the world learn righteousness.