Hi everyone, I'm new here. Nice to be here.
I'm having what's called a "crisis of faith". Let me elaborate.
I think I'll start by diving into my religious background. When I was a child, I was baptized as a Catholic and my family practiced. Then my family moved to where we live now and it was then I became a "born again" Christian at my mother's request. I must been about 8 or 9 years old at that time. Up until like...age 16 I had a pretty decent faith in Jesus and God. I didn't practice my religion by going to church. But I was a good enough person. Somewhere around age 17...I started questioning EVERYTHING. I'm sure that's natural, right? Well...I'm not ashamed to admit this, I know a lot of people might dislike me for it, but I renounced my faith. Because I was open to all ideas..not just the Christian ideology. I was open to thoughts from Buddhists, Islamic people, Humanists, etc. I didn't reject any idea as being wrong. The reasoning behind all of that was...I had lost my brother before I ever got the chance to know him so I guess I've always harbored some resentment and anger towards God about that. I had some close friends commit suicide, family members turn their backs on me, and some other bad things happen in my life. At those times of crisis...my faith didn't get stronger..it just got weaker and weaker. To the point where I just didn't wanna be religious at all. I wanted to just live my life day-by-day. I became a man of science more than a man of faith. My family wasn't pleased at all. I'm now 20 years old. Recently I've had a new niece come into my life, got a new job, and lived happy. Even then I couldn't fully thank somebody else for those things. But even more recently..the girl I was in love for over 3 years left me, I got into a bad accident, and had to spend a night in jail, and some other personal things. I sat there in my cell the other night thinking to myself, "look at me...in jail...alone." I felt like I hit rock bottom at such a young age. I thought maybe God's is giving me these challenges because he wants me to return. Stop being such a prodigal son. I'm just scared that I won't be accepted because of how I thought for the longest time. I'll also feel like some sort of hypocrite. I just want some kind of encouraging words from anyone on here. Tell me what you think I should do. I've been thinking of joining the Catholic church again. Go back to where I was originally baptized. Your kind and honest opinions will be deeply appreciated. A thousand thank you's.