Teenager struggling to get to sleep at night and wake up in the morning..

[moonglow]

Ugh. My son is 14 now and has been going through a huge and long growing spurt which I know can make him feel more tired...but I think its also just being a teenager. He is just awful so many mornings with waking up for school. Yet as the evening goes on he gets more and more awake! So by bedtime he is not the least little bit sleepy... then morning comes...and its grumbling and groaning and "I'm tired"...hiding under the covers...

Anyway I have been doing a little research on the net and it appears this is normal..which I don't want to hear! Well not that I want to hear this is abnormal..lol...but I mean, I don't really want to go through this for four, five or more years.

Here is part of what one article says on research done on this..sleep problems in teenagers:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontl...carskadon.html
It's interesting. When we talk about how sleep is controlled by the brain, we really are talking about two systems. One is the system that fills the tank at night, and the other is the biological clock system. It sets up a sort of cycle of when it's easy to fall asleep and when it's hard to fall asleep. Those times when it's hard to fall asleep we call "forbidden zones" for sleep.

We see in many adolescents that this forbidden zone is in the evening hours. So they actually feel great at night and, for many of them, that makes it harder for them to even consider trying to go to bed earlier. So they'll say goodnight to Mom and Dad and they'll go into their rooms and read or play video games or talk on the phone. And they're perfectly content and happy doing that, because they're also at a phase where it's easy for them to become aroused and stimulated by these activities. So it really does turn into a Catch--22. When people just say, "Well, all they have to do is go to bed earlier," well, they really can't go to sleep earlier necessarily.

So anyway having him to go bed sooner isn't going to work it appears.. ..I guess this is normal for a teenager..but I am wondering if anyone on here has found something that works..helps their teenager be sleepy when they need to be so they can get to sleep at a decent time. Its frustrating to pick him up after school and he is complaining he is tried but as the evening goes on, he becomes more and more awake! then comes morning and he doesn't want to get up cause he is so tired.

This morning I complained again how frustrating this was trying to get him to wake up and he said, well its not exactly fun for me either..its not like I can help it.

God bless

[Godsgraceandglory]

Hello my daughter went through the same thing! In the health food section, I found some homopathic chewables that helped her to relax and fall asleep. It's all natural, and my husband and I take them too! I can't remember the name off the top of my head but there are several brands out there, anything with melatonin...and again, it's all natural. There are also teas that help relax and sleep, also located in the health food section of most grocery stores. Good luck

[Reynolds357]

Ugh. My son is 14 now and has been going through a huge and long growing spurt which I know can make him feel more tired...but I think its also just being a teenager. He is just awful so many mornings with waking up for school. Yet as the evening goes on he gets more and more awake! So by bedtime he is not the least little bit sleepy... then morning comes...and its grumbling and groaning and "I'm tired"...hiding under the covers...

Anyway I have been doing a little research on the net and it appears this is normal..which I don't want to hear! Well not that I want to hear this is abnormal..lol...but I mean, I don't really want to go through this for four, five or more years.

Here is part of what one article says on research done on this..sleep problems in teenagers:
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontl...carskadon.html
It's interesting. When we talk about how sleep is controlled by the brain, we really are talking about two systems. One is the system that fills the tank at night, and the other is the biological clock system. It sets up a sort of cycle of when it's easy to fall asleep and when it's hard to fall asleep. Those times when it's hard to fall asleep we call "forbidden zones" for sleep.

We see in many adolescents that this forbidden zone is in the evening hours. So they actually feel great at night and, for many of them, that makes it harder for them to even consider trying to go to bed earlier. So they'll say goodnight to Mom and Dad and they'll go into their rooms and read or play video games or talk on the phone. And they're perfectly content and happy doing that, because they're also at a phase where it's easy for them to become aroused and stimulated by these activities. So it really does turn into a Catch--22. When people just say, "Well, all they have to do is go to bed earlier," well, they really can't go to sleep earlier necessarily.

So anyway having him to go bed sooner isn't going to work it appears.. ..I guess this is normal for a teenager..but I am wondering if anyone on here has found something that works..helps their teenager be sleepy when they need to be so they can get to sleep at a decent time. Its frustrating to pick him up after school and he is complaining he is tried but as the evening goes on, he becomes more and more awake! then comes morning and he doesn't want to get up cause he is so tired.

This morning I complained again how frustrating this was trying to get him to wake up and he said, well its not exactly fun for me either..its not like I can help it.

God bless

Let him stay up as late as he wants to. Make him get up when he is supposed to with no arguement. Tell him that he is to get up at time x. Tell him that you will come to awaken him at that time, and he will be expected to get up at that time or there will be major consequences for him not getting up at that time. I wanted to lay in bet until 11am when I was a teenager also. Dad said get up at 6 through the week and 7:30 on the weekends. I knew I better do it or else.

[moonglow]

Hello my daughter went through the same thing! In the health food section, I found some homopathic chewables that helped her to relax and fall asleep. It's all natural, and my husband and I take them too! I can't remember the name off the top of my head but there are several brands out there, anything with melatonin...and again, it's all natural. There are also teas that help relax and sleep, also located in the health food section of most grocery stores. Good luck

We already tried melatonin..doesn't help. Thanks anyway.

Reynolds I don't think you read the article. Everything I am reading on this in regards to teenagers is this is due to the changes their bodies and hormones are going through. They truly cannot help it if they are more awake in the evening and wanting to sleep more in the morning. They are constantly sleep deprived because of this. They can't control it. I am not looking to have a big war with my son..I am looking to help him. Its not like he wants to be wide awake at bedtime..he wants to be able to sleep so he won't be so miserable in the mornings.

Maybe this article is clearer:

Adolescent Sleeping Patterns

Adults and teenagers have very different wake-sleep cycles, and once you understand these differences you can use them to enhance your relationship with your teenager. Taking this approach to heart means checking your world (and sleep) at the door to cross over temporarily into your teenager's world of time and biological rhythms. Midnight and beyond is the time of deep conversation for most adolescents, even though for most of their parents it is the occasion of much deserved REM sleep.

The average teenager needs just over nine hours sleep every night, even though the average teenager gets just over six hours. Research shows that adolescents have a different circadian rhythm (sleep-wake cycle) than adults. This biological difference leaves them feeling awake later into the evening and, as a result, unable to fall asleep at the earlier bedtimes of childhood. Most teenagers don't get sleepy until around 11:00 P.M., which, of course, means they are dragging in the morning when the alarm rings at 6:30 A.M. (Falling asleep at 11:00 P.M. on the button and rising at 6:30 A.M. sharp still means only seven and one-half hours sleep, or ninety minutes shy of what the average teenager requires.) Research conducted at the University of Minnesota indicated that over half the teenagers studied reported feeling most awake after 3:00 P.M. and that 20 percent claimed they fell asleep in school; this comes as no surprise given what time of night they fall asleep and what time in the morning they wake up.

The adult brain, on the other hand, releases the sleep-inducing chemical melatonin at around 7:00 P.M., and this is what makes us so drowsy just after dinner (leading some of us even to grab a catnap on the sofa under the guise of reading the newspaper). This state ensures that we're in bed at a reasonable hour—if we're listening to our bodies—so that we are rested (or at least better rested) when the alarm sounds in the morning. Unfortunately, these different realities of teenage and adult sleep patterns only exacerbate the typical teenage mantra, You just don't understand!

God bless

[HisLeast]

Let him stay up as late as he wants to. Make him get up when he is supposed to with no arguement. Tell him that he is to get up at time x. Tell him that you will come to awaken him at that time, and he will be expected to get up at that time or there will be major consequences for him not getting up at that time. I wanted to lay in bet until 11am when I was a teenager also. Dad said get up at 6 through the week and 7:30 on the weekends. I knew I better do it or else.

Quoted for truth. My parents gave me free reign over my bed time in my early teens with the proviso that I'm responsible for the consequences. So when I naturally started acting like a jerk to everyone due to being overtired, my parents made sure I was punished accordingly. Soon enough it was back to house-rules on bed times. I hated it at the time, but I learned a valuable lesson.

[Reynolds357]

We already tried melatonin..doesn't help. Thanks anyway.

Reynolds I don't think you read the article. Everything I am reading on this in regards to teenagers is this is due to the changes their bodies and hormones are going through. They truly cannot help it if they are more awake in the evening and wanting to sleep more in the morning. They are constantly sleep deprived because of this. They can't control it. I am not looking to have a big war with my son..I am looking to help him. Its not like he wants to be wide awake at bedtime..he wants to be able to sleep so he won't be so miserable in the mornings.

Maybe this article is clearer:

Adolescent Sleeping Patterns

Adults and teenagers have very different wake-sleep cycles, and once you understand these differences you can use them to enhance your relationship with your teenager. Taking this approach to heart means checking your world (and sleep) at the door to cross over temporarily into your teenager's world of time and biological rhythms. Midnight and beyond is the time of deep conversation for most adolescents, even though for most of their parents it is the occasion of much deserved REM sleep.

The average teenager needs just over nine hours sleep every night, even though the average teenager gets just over six hours. Research shows that adolescents have a different circadian rhythm (sleep-wake cycle) than adults. This biological difference leaves them feeling awake later into the evening and, as a result, unable to fall asleep at the earlier bedtimes of childhood. Most teenagers don't get sleepy until around 11:00 P.M., which, of course, means they are dragging in the morning when the alarm rings at 6:30 A.M. (Falling asleep at 11:00 P.M. on the button and rising at 6:30 A.M. sharp still means only seven and one-half hours sleep, or ninety minutes shy of what the average teenager requires.) Research conducted at the University of Minnesota indicated that over half the teenagers studied reported feeling most awake after 3:00 P.M. and that 20 percent claimed they fell asleep in school; this comes as no surprise given what time of night they fall asleep and what time in the morning they wake up.

The adult brain, on the other hand, releases the sleep-inducing chemical melatonin at around 7:00 P.M., and this is what makes us so drowsy just after dinner (leading some of us even to grab a catnap on the sofa under the guise of reading the newspaper). This state ensures that we're in bed at a reasonable hour—if we're listening to our bodies—so that we are rested (or at least better rested) when the alarm sounds in the morning. Unfortunately, these different realities of teenage and adult sleep patterns only exacerbate the typical teenage mantra, You just don't understand!

God bless

I understand what the article said. I was also a teenager. I wanted to stay up at night and sleep in the day. If you get into a pattern of waking up real early, you will eventually get sleep deprived enough to go to sleep in the evening.
From a practical standpoint. Absence of light is the brain's trigger to go to sleep. Watching TV, looking at a computer, or sitting in a bright room all tell your brain it is daytime and make our brain keep us awake.

[BrckBrln]

Being a teenager stinks. What time does he go to bed?

[moonglow]

Being a teenager stinks. What time does he go to bed?

9:15 or 9:30 if he had youth group. But like I said as the evening goes on he gets more awake..even though he was dead tired during the day. Its really weird. I thought something was really wrong with him until I read up on all this stuff about how almost all teenagers struggle with this. So any way tonight he is going to bed at nine...I have the lights down low too instead of the bright lights I like to have..lol. From what I am reading it takes time to re-adjust their internal clock. He hasn't been an early bird for years though..


PS. sorry guys I see no point in having huge battles with him from being overly tired when he DOES NOT want to be like this. It seems senseless to me to tell him to stay up late then get after him when he can't function the next day. He doesn't like being tired like this and being miserable. This isn't a fight about going to bed. He really is awake at bedtime...then feels horrible all day. He wants this fixed..which is what I asking for help for. He just lays in bed sometimes for hours, unable to sleep. I know what that is like..its awful.

God bless

[HisLeast]

PS. sorry guys I see no point in having huge battles with him from being overly tired when he DOES NOT want to be like this. It seems senseless to me to tell him to stay up late then get after him when he can't function the next day. He doesn't like being tired like this and being miserable. This isn't a fight about going to bed. He really is awake at bedtime...then feels horrible all day. He wants this fixed..which is what I asking for help for. He just lays in bed sometimes for hours, unable to sleep. I know what that is like..its awful.

If that's the case then maybe an audit on diet and sleep environment.
Is his room dark? Without a TV or other source of interaction? Is he eating later in the evening? If so, what? Any caffiene in the evening or late afternoon?

[Athanasius]

My parents let me go to bed whenever I wanted, and they let me live with the consequences. Problem corrected itself, though I do legitimately have insomnia.

[BrckBrln]

9:15 or 9:30 if he had youth group.

Wow, that is early. If he just lays in bed for hours before he actually sleeps, maybe he should just go to bed later.

[moonglow]

If that's the case then maybe an audit on diet and sleep environment.
Is his room dark? Without a TV or other source of interaction? Is he eating later in the evening? If so, what? Any caffiene in the evening or late afternoon?

No..I make sure he doesn't even have sugary foods late in the evening..and certainly no caffine. His room is dark except for a night light which is blocked by a chair. Nothing has changed except him ...becoming a teenager! lol.

Oh he zonked out on the couch for a bit..I got him up and off to bed though by nine. Thank goodness he didn't 'wake up' this evening like he has been doing.

BrckBrln

Quote Originally Posted by moonglow
9:15 or 9:30 if he had youth group.

Wow, that is early. If he just lays in bed for hours before he actually sleeps, maybe he should just go to bed later.

Usually though I don't get out of his room until 9;45 half the time..that is one part of our day where its quite and no distractions so he tells me about his day. Then we do prayers. We have had this routine for years...I thought maybe I was letting him talk too long and it was waking him up..but I was actually seeing him become more alert long before that time. From these articles its part of being a teenager.. They do this...get more woke up in the evening due to all the changes their bodies, hormones, etc, are going through. This has been and off and on problem all this school year. He also has allergies and sometimes at night if he allergy medication wears off or his allergies are too bad, they will wake him up and then he is blowing his nose forever..trying to get his allergies under control so he can go back to sleep. I put some extra bendrile on his desk if he needs it during the night and that helps sometimes. Other times though he is wide awake at three or four in the morning..not a good thing. And can't get back to sleep at all..or not for hours.

He is hopefully sleeping now so I am going to go get some sleep too. Thanks all. Pray he sleeps well all night..he really needs it.

God bless

[Reynolds357]

My parents let me go to bed whenever I wanted, and they let me live with the consequences. Problem corrected itself, though I do legitimately have insomnia.

That is pretty much what I was suggesting.

[Twin2]

My son has ADHD and I have rules about what he is allowed to do after 8 p.m. He is not allowed to play video games and computer games before bedtime. If he cannot sleep, he is allowed to lay in bed with his light on and read or draw. Nothing electronic, no tv, no game systems, etc. He isn't allowed to get up and do anything either.

I haven't done a very good job at enforcing bedtimes on the weekends, but doing so helps him keep a better sleep / wake pattern. Also, I agree that it is best to not let him sleep too late in the day. I actually count the hours my son sleeps and allow him an extra hour and then I start to get him up.

Melatonin helped my daughter, but my son refused to take it.

Exercise a few hours before bedtime helps alot of people sleep. It sounds like it wouldn't but it does. You might try that.

You might also try looking at his diet. if he has a lot of processed foods, sugar, or caffeine, you might try adjusting what he eats.

Low light is important too. Remove any distractions (ie my husband used to like to watch tv until late, but that kept the kids awake).

It can be normal for teens to be unable to go to sleep at night, but they do need sleep. Sounds like he is finally reaching that deep sleep time when it's time to wake up. that would be a reason to go to bed earlier.

Fighting about bed time always made things worse around here. Changing the rules to laying in bed and reading a book helped the most. My son generally falls asleep about an hour after he goes to bed.
Also, I have to wake him up differently than say his sister. I have to stand beside his bedside and start talking to him. If there is something going on that day that he is interested in, I will bring that up. I cannot stand and call his name, it doesn't work. I can't just knock on his door. Sometimes, I can touch him and say it's time to get up and that will work. Usually not, he will just lay back down. Just keep trying things, you'll find something.

[moonglow]

My son has ADHD and I have rules about what he is allowed to do after 8 p.m. He is not allowed to play video games and computer games before bedtime. If he cannot sleep, he is allowed to lay in bed with his light on and read or draw. Nothing electronic, no tv, no game systems, etc. He isn't allowed to get up and do anything either.

I haven't done a very good job at enforcing bedtimes on the weekends, but doing so helps him keep a better sleep / wake pattern. Also, I agree that it is best to not let him sleep too late in the day. I actually count the hours my son sleeps and allow him an extra hour and then I start to get him up.

Melatonin helped my daughter, but my son refused to take it.

Exercise a few hours before bedtime helps alot of people sleep. It sounds like it wouldn't but it does. You might try that.

You might also try looking at his diet. if he has a lot of processed foods, sugar, or caffeine, you might try adjusting what he eats.

Low light is important too. Remove any distractions (ie my husband used to like to watch tv until late, but that kept the kids awake).

It can be normal for teens to be unable to go to sleep at night, but they do need sleep. Sounds like he is finally reaching that deep sleep time when it's time to wake up. that would be a reason to go to bed earlier.

Fighting about bed time always made things worse around here. Changing the rules to laying in bed and reading a book helped the most. My son generally falls asleep about an hour after he goes to bed.
Also, I have to wake him up differently than say his sister. I have to stand beside his bedside and start talking to him. If there is something going on that day that he is interested in, I will bring that up. I cannot stand and call his name, it doesn't work. I can't just knock on his door. Sometimes, I can touch him and say it's time to get up and that will work. Usually not, he will just lay back down. Just keep trying things, you'll find something.

He has no caffeine except in the mornings...I won't even let him have caffeine free pop because its so loaded with sugar.

He does not fight me about going to bed....which seems to be what most on here are thinking.

He is not asking to stay up late either.

He is genuinely having problems sleeping.

I don't usually watch TV after he goes to bed either so he isn't hearing it and its keeping him awake.

Anyway he while he slept longer last night, he said he woke up alot. About four different times so was still struggling to wake up this morning. I really have no idea what the problem is except what these articles are saying...this is common problem in teenagers.

God bless