What quaifies me for visitation?Originally Posted by DaniHansen
I am her mother.....that's what qualifies me for visitation!!!!!!
Posting Freak
What quaifies me for visitation?
I am her mother.....that's what qualifies me for visitation!!!!!!
Posting Freak
That doesn't just qualify you for visitation... that qualifies you for full parental rights. I've been praying Welder, and will continue to do so, as I'm sure everyone else on this board will.
Please could everyone pray for Mieke and Charles.
My testimony http://bibleforums.org/forum/showthr...ight=testimony
Jesus is enough
Yes, but if you don't know what your rights are, given to you by the state in writing through their statutes ... Of course being her mom qualifies you, but evidently he and his lawyer were able to manipulate the judge into having your visitation rights taken from you.
Again, knowledge is your best weapon when it comes to going to court. Know what your rights are, print them out, present them, and proof along with it. Pull your feelings out of it, and address it with your head and logically.
You should have full parental rights. You should have full custody, and he should pay you support. That's what should be. You know it, I know it. BUT ... you have to present your case because no judge out there is going to do your work for you. They're just going to listen to who can present the best arguments, backed up by the facts that make the most sense according to the written statutes.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!
Formerly moonglow
I would say proving you are a fit mother..you said he got your visitation taken away by taking about your bipolar..you didn't give details on that, but you can show you have been at the same job for seven years (I think that is what you said) which says a great deal! It shows you are stable and able to hold down a job. If you need to show you are on medication..or get a statement by any doctor or therapist that shows you are mentally stable too..I would do that. Of course any proof he left the state with your daughter and never informed you and how you have not been able to see or talk to your daughter in a year. The court could have ordered at the very least, supervised visitations...whatever he told the judge to stop all visitation much have been very damaging...you need to prove that is wrong. You also need to tell the judge how fearful you are off him...of how you lose your nerve and find it very difficult to communicate yourself...do that at the beginning...so if you start to struggle the judge will be more understanding and not take it as you have problems...
If I were you, I would put as much information on paper as possible...let the paperwork, the evidence speak for you. I would be a nervous wreck too. Judges want proof...not alot of talk anyway.
Showing proof he was/is married to two women at one time...which is illegal...proof he lied to the judge about knowing where you were...proof he took your daughter out of state and you have had no contact...is going to make him look very, very bad. It will put him on the defensive, rather then you. He is in the wrong here..not you.
God bless
"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson
Jesus is enough
You're not going before your ex-husband. He isn't the judge. So as far as you're concerned, pretend he isn't even in the room.
It's between you and the judge. Who isn't going to consider your feelings nor your ex-husband's feelings. Judges only go by what the written laws say and by facts and proof. Feelings don't matter to them. Your personal sense of right and wrong don't matter to them. Which is why you have to approach the situation logically and methodically in legal context. The people who win these cases are the ones who can build arguments and show proof and show how the law grants them what they're asking for, all things considered.
Even so, come Lord Jesus!
I live here!
OK, I have to be careful here. I am an attorney, but I am NOT giving you legal advice. I do not represent you. I am not practicing law in your jurisdiction. I don't know the totality of the facts and circumstances, and I haven't seen any of the orders from the court related to this issue.
This is a serious matter, and what happens in court will affect your legal rights. You should consult an attorney. You need to contact your church and have them support you financially to at least have an attorney present for this hearing. Walking into a courtroom without a lawyer is not a good move.
That being said, Dani is right. The court really doesn't care to hear all of your heartache and pain, no matter how real it is. The court just doesn't care. The court, at this point, only cares about a few things.
1. Is there an alimony or separate support order. If yes, then the next question is "is the former husband paying."
2. On the custody issue, the court is required to consider ONLY the best interest of the child. The father's interest is irrelevant, as is the mother's. If the court has previously changed custody to the father only, then you will have to present substantial evidence that there has been a material and permanent change in the circumstances since the last hearing to make the court change custody arrangements.
3. The court will only be evidence in FACTS. It doesn't care about opinions or feelings. If papers are presented to the court, then the person who signed the paper or made the paper will need to be present to testify. If people have things to say, they have to be present to testify. A written statement won't be admitted.
I cannot emphasize enough how seriously you need to get with your church and have them find $1000 to hire a lawyer to represent you in the matter.
Posting Freak
Okay.......there is no way I can afford to hire an attorney, people, so what I am basically hearing is that I am completly screwed, even if I am in the right (which I am, God knows I am, and it appears most of you here do, as well).
Wow. Why even bother, then?
Posting Freak
You can emphasize all you want, but there is no way I am asking my church for that kind of money. If I lose, I lose. Whatever. Its in God's hands, but seriously, what judge in his right mind would keep me from even being able to talk with her?
Oh, and Moonglow, just so you know, there were orders for supervised visits, but I had a lot of problems getting my husband to comply. He would always say that he couldn't make it, and a lot of times, I did not have the money to pay the monitoring facility. Of course, my husband at the time would not even help me....he would rather I not bve able to see my child. Its pretty hard to get that kind of money when you're living in a homeless shelter!!!
I wasn't even allowed to call her, because he made the judge believe that I was threatening him and was so incredibly dangerous. There was no evidence to back up his claims, so it was basically my word against his -- and the judge took his word. He had an attorney and I didn't. I was screwed from the beginning.
Formerly moonglow
Welder..please, please don't throw in the towel ok? If things don't work out...one day your daughter is going to contact you and will ask if you even tried. Do you want to say no, you got discouraged and gave up? Of course you don't want to say that to her...you want to say you did every thing you possibly could. Besides that you do have God on your side. Your husband is in alot of trouble....he broke the law on several fronts..like I said, I don't think even a high priced lawyer is going to be able to talk him out of that...that right there does give you a very good chance.
Praying for you!
God bless
"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson
Posting Freak
Thank you so much for your prayers. No, of course I don't want to tell her that. I do know that she wants to live with me.....she told me that before my husband took up and moved without telling me. I think her dad ignores her.
Formerly moonglow
How old is she? I will be praying for her too.
"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson
Posting Freak
Almost 13.
I'm so sorry if I'm sounding agitated, but it just seems like everytime I try and do something, I get shut down. Its like the only way you can get justice in this country is if you have money. If you're poor, you're out-of-luck!!!!!
Formerly moonglow
I know..and we certainly see it in the news don't we? Rich and famous people don't seem to have to serve the time us regular folks do.The bible has alot to say about that..God is very much against injustice done to the poor. You did do the right thing but asking us to pray for you because that is more powerful then money..more powerful then what any lawyer can do. I truly do believe that.
How old is your little girl may I ask?
God bless
"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson
Posting Freak
She's almost 13.
I am just sort of disgusted with the legal system at this point.
Formerly moonglow
I understand. But it doesn't always fail! Justice is suppose to be blind..meaning blind to who has money or lawyers, etc...and sometimes the underdog does win.
"People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson
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