Sick of this body

[Equipped_4_Love]

Thanks so much, everyone

You all are absolutely right. It's stupid for me to get so hung up on this kind of stuff. Sometimes I guess I just forget how insignificant it really is.

Daughter -- Thanks for sharing this story. That is what I am hoping God will eventually do in my own life.

Meike -- What can I say? You and Charles are absolutely perfect for each other. See, that's also what I am looking forward to. I just want someone I am compatible with....but I still want him to think I'm attractive. Is that shallow?

ShortStuff -- You are absolutely right regarding the issue of personality. I have always just been really quiet, and reserved, not extremely outgoing, and sometimes I think that sometimes I can be a bit dull. It always seems like the men go for the women who are outgoing and bubbly. It also seems that perhaps a lot of men won't really be attracted to me because of what I do for a living, because it's not the most feminine job, and don't men like women who are feminine and delicate?

Dani -- Its funny because the one picture that I've seen of you I think is so cute, and I think your hair is the most beautiful color.....but I digress. I'm not talking about women accepting me, because that is not my problem. I guess I just need to relax....like I said, its really not that significant in the grand scheme of things. I mean, finding a companion is significant to me, of course, but I just mean getting hung-up on my outer appearance. I mean, it is enormously shallow if you think about it.

Spike -- I actually don't read fashion magazines anymore. Even if there weren't any around, that wouldn't mean I'd stop being self-critical. Honestly, I think a lot of it is just in our nature. It really has to do less with society's expectations and more with the fact that I see married couples and just **sigh** hope and wish...then when it doesn't happen I wonder what is wrong with me. KNOCK IT OFF, APRIL!!! It's not your problem, but God's!!

Prayer_in_Memphis -- Thank you

Jeanne -- You're definitely right about us being too self-critical. It's not as bad as it used to be, but there are times when it still creeps in. I just can't keep dwelling on it, because this is really ridiculous. I feel so childish.

[miepie]

Meike -- What can I say? You and Charles are absolutely perfect for each other. See, that's also what I am looking forward to. I just want someone I am compatible with....but I still want him to think I'm attractive. Is that shallow?

No it's not shallow....... and yes Charles thinks I am very attractive and I think the same of him....... and we are very happy together but have our deal of problems too....... not only with our health, although that's a major part, but also because we look different at certain things........ but for the most we're compatible.....

I was trying to say that you are going places where I never can go...... and yet I found a good husband...... so the chances you will find a good husband are much higher than mine were...... and if Daddy could do it for me, He most certainly can do it for you!

Love you lots,
Mieke who is always here if you want to talk (only 1 pm away).....

[Diggindeeper]

I took a look at your picture too, and Sweetie...you are beautiful! How can such a pretty lady be a welder??? Are you really a welder?? is your hair really that blond and pretty??

Anyway, I had to learn (as I started to age) that yes, changes happen. But, let me remind you...the men change in physical appearance too! Believe me, they really do! Most likely, they think the same way we do. But I guess they feel it would be 'sissy' to talk about it. (I'm guessing, of course.)

But really, one thing I think is NOT attractive is to see these little ladies who are obviously past their prime, but wearing clothes that should be on a 13 or 14 year old girl, overly died hair, can't see well enough to read normally, (stretch the book or paper way out, at arm's length in a futile effort to READ the print. But too vain to get glasses.)...You know what I'm talking about?

I have a dear friend who does not live my lifestyle, who lives with her 'boyfriend' and not married due to 3 bad marriages, etc., etc. And she used to work in a bar room. When I met her (you see, the Lord put her in my pathway of life. Literally.) she immediately latched onto me, and refers to me as her' best friend in the world' to everyone. I went to her Mother's funeral and she introduced me to people there as 'my best friend in all the world.'

But one day she said, "I wish I looked as good as you in the clothes I wear."
And the Lord said to me, "YOU are her friend. Tell her the truth. She will listen to you."

So...as gently as I could, I said to her, "________, you don't wear clothes like I do. I am very modest. I buy from sales racks and clearance corners. But why don't you let me give you a couple of outfits (she was my size at the time) and just see how MY clothes look on you? Will you take the clothes?" You see, she wore mini skirts, tight tops, too tight jeans. Me? I like 2 piece dresses, suits, blaziers.

Anyway, she said, "Okay. That sounds good to me." So the next time she was at my house, I laid out several 'outfits' and told her to pick which 3 she would like. She selected the three, protesting the whole while that she really didn't want to take them, but I knew she really did. She'd seen me wearing some of them.

I talked her into wearing one outfit home and guess what! Her 'boyfriend' told her, "Wow, ______! I didn't know you could look so stunning!" (Mainly, I help with her walk with the Lord, which IS improving as time goes by.)

But you see, this is what I mean by doing the best we can with what we have been given. She is only 6 years younger than me, but was trying to dress far too young for her age. (Since that day I shared some clothes with her she now wears different kinds of clothes! Skirts somewhat longer. Pants not skin tight. Etc. I have seen an amazing transformation in the way she looks!)

Like others have said, just be you. But I add...keep it age appropriate. (You should have no problem. You are natural beauty to begin with!)

[Equipped_4_Love]

Hey, there, Diggin_Deeper;

I agree completely with your point. It is a little sad when you see people trying to dress 15 or 20 years younger than they should be. I don't know if it's like this where you live, but here in L.A. so many women get botox and just try desperately to hang on to their youth. They even have botox parties where women get together and get injected. YIKES!!! Its scary. That's just it....I refuse to get botoxed or anything like that, so I really have no other choice but to age gracefully, which I don't really mind, but I would also like to still be somewhat attractive for my future husband, and I hope I am one of those ladies who can age and still look beautiful.

But right now, I just don't see it. But I do appreciate the compliment. That is very sweet of you.

I guess what I am trying to say is that I just want to stay attractive for the man I end up falling in love with and giving myself to. I just want him to think that I'm pretty. I really could care less what other men think.

[Diggindeeper]

Well, one thing I can promise you...God honors your Godly attitude! He knows the motives and intents of our heart, and God gives us the desires of our heart, you know. Speaking of the 'desires of our heart', I honestly believe that he literally GIVES us our DESIRES! So, if he has planted that desire deep in your heart...for you to have someone to grow old with...then He surely will finish what he has started!

Just stay ready, my friend. Stay as pretty as you can, and just wait on the Lord. When you least expect it, that one just may walk into your life!

And I sure do hope you share with is when it happens!

[miepie]

April, I think mawma is right......... but in the meantime there is nothing stopping you from praying for a godly husband! It's what I did...... I prayed and prayed and then at one time I cried and laid half on the floor telling Daddy I couldn't go on like this and that I needed someone to take care of me........ at the same day on the other side of the world Charles was praying for a wife that loved the Lord as much as he did........ next day we met.......

If you start praying about it, I'll pray with you...... deal?

Love you lots,
Mieke

[Dani H]

Actually, the chance for God bringing Welder together with a gentleman for her to be married to are the exact same as they are for Mieke and the rest of us. And when/if He brings that man along, then it's still your choice to accept or decline, because God doesn't force anybody to do anything. He treats us with honor because He loves us.

Abba will never steer you wrong, girl. Just trust Him. And trust the woman of God that you are.

[Frecs]

Put down the stupid magazines, and back away with your hands in the air. Yes.

You know society has lousy expectations of what a beautiful woman is. You must always look twenty, and never go gray. And many, many other silly things like that.

Thing is, it gets in your brain and makes things difficult. My advice? Go do something that makes you feel joy. A joyful person beats a pretty face, like, eleventy billion to one. And stop internalizing other people's garbage. It's hard, I know -- I do it too, on occasion -- but seriously? You're beating yourself up over something that isn't the end of the world. Besides, gray hair is lovely! It usually means wisdom.

I love this post...like at least a dozen bazillion purple balloons!

[Michigander]

Sometimes, you have to CHOOSE to believe the Bible is true, even if it doesn't make sense in the natural. Meditate in faith that what God says is true, and soon you will feel it, when you're fully persuaded (acknowledging that you don't have to feel it to be true). This is the verse I'm attempting to persuade myself with, and I think it could help you too - 1 Peter 3:

3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

If God can open the eyes in the natural to see thousands of chariots in the spirit realm, then I see no reason that he can't open the eyes of our husbands to see our beauty, even if we don't. Having settled that - set your mind to embracing the fact that we are made in God's image. Don't you think God has GOT to be the hottest being ever known....and we're made in His image (which must be the best of both masculine & feminie)...AMAZING...WE are made in HIS image. There's no way that can be crummy...that's awesome.

If you can't believe what your mirror tells you - meditate on what God's word tells you - because it's the TRUTH.

Another tip - are you tired, hungry, PMSing, or just watched some smut tv or magazine? These things can change your mood to just plain make you feel dumpy. Look up instead of down and soon your mind will be off yourself and your life will just plain feel better! The more you think about how crummy you've got it, the more you'll believe it. Take your thoughts captive, think on something nice, and see how God transforms your mind. It's amazing how God can change our mind, and suddely our circumstances are not what they once appeared.

[Equipped_4_Love]

Another tip - are you tired, hungry, PMSing, or just watched some smut tv or magazine? These things can change your mood to just plain make you feel dumpy. Look up instead of down and soon your mind will be off yourself and your life will just plain feel better! The more you think about how crummy you've got it, the more you'll believe it. Take your thoughts captive, think on something nice, and see how God transforms your mind. It's amazing how God can change our mind, and suddely our circumstances are not what they once appeared.

Actually, I do not really watch TV or read magazines at all. Actually, I don't think I get out ENOUGH!!!!

[Equipped_4_Love]

Well, there is this really nice guy at my church. A week or so ago, he saw me in Home Depot. It was right after work, so I was looking just awful -- grungy and dirty, and it had been hot outside that day, so pretty much shredded -- and the way he looked at me......he seemed to really admire that I was actually out working. We made small talk, and he was so friendly and sweet -- didn't even give me a grossed-out look or anything.

I saw him the following Sunday, and he came up and talked to me. He is definitely someone I could be interested in. I met him a few months back at an Easter gathering at the house of one of my pastors, and we had some good conversation -- not too deep, but pleasant. He is a nice looking guy, and I am wondering if God is working something out? Won't know that for a while, but still -- I am hopeful, but not expectant.

[Frecs]

Sounds like a keeper...he saw you sweaty and grungy from work and ADMIRED what he saw! Gotta love that for sure!

[Diggindeeper]

Well, like I said back in post #20, "When you least expect it, that one just may walk into your life!" And he COULD do that in Home Depot or even Lowes!

Interesting!

[Moonlit Mourning]

This seems pretty much resolved for you but more encouragement is good right? So, Ima throw my two cents in;

I completely understand how you feel albeit for different reasons.

Don't feel like you won't get a man that honestly loves you and would not seek to hurt you in any way just because you don't look like Beyonce or someone. Besides a lot of those people have had a nip and tuck if you know what I'm meaning. You don't want a man that looks at your exterior and that be the only reason he's in your face so tough itching for the oppertunity to get your pants. I don't think I have to tell you the kind of character a man like that has whether he hides it well or not. You want someone that will cherish you for who you are. We all have things that aren't so great about our personas but look you acknowledge your flaws which can only mean you are working on improving to move on from glory to glory. Just because a painting isn't finished doesn't mean it a magnificent work of art. None of can claim we are truly there yet so don't put yourself down so much. Besides keep in mind your pool of men are in the same boat as you... unless you're going for a guy that's twenty something and if that be the case I can't help you there. (^_~) Take care hon and God bless you.