Let me say first that I have always been a Believer, but recently an event occurred which has really made me question things, my beliefs.
I haven't stopped believing in God, but my faith has taken a beating.
Recently I moved into a new home, and one day a couple weeks ago, I had the thought, 'It would be so nice to have a dog.'
That very same day, a puppy showed up at my house, half starved, terrified. It took me over an hour to get him to come to me, bribing him with food.
I fell instantly in love with him, he was a beautiful puppy, an apparent mix of Golden Retriever and German Shepherd, apparently abused and then dumped.
And in a moment, he was struck down by a truck speeding down the road.
And I ask, why?
Why give a gift, then allow it to be taken away?
You hear so much of near misses, for instance people who didn't make it to work the day the Twin Towers fell, a missed plane, a delay in traffic, so why?
I struggle with the thought that all it would have taken was a thirty second delay, the driver slowing down for a moment, something distracting the puppy to get him off the road, anything.
Such a little thing for God to do, but He didn't.
And it's not just about the puppy, things now from the past I am questioning.
Things that I really thought God had in His plan for me, doors that opened, only to lose it all later.
I don't understand a bit of it.