Struggling with questions.

[Daisy]

Let me say first that I have always been a Believer, but recently an event occurred which has really made me question things, my beliefs.

I haven't stopped believing in God, but my faith has taken a beating.

Recently I moved into a new home, and one day a couple weeks ago, I had the thought, 'It would be so nice to have a dog.'

That very same day, a puppy showed up at my house, half starved, terrified. It took me over an hour to get him to come to me, bribing him with food.

I fell instantly in love with him, he was a beautiful puppy, an apparent mix of Golden Retriever and German Shepherd, apparently abused and then dumped.

And in a moment, he was struck down by a truck speeding down the road.

And I ask, why?

Why give a gift, then allow it to be taken away?

You hear so much of near misses, for instance people who didn't make it to work the day the Twin Towers fell, a missed plane, a delay in traffic, so why?

I struggle with the thought that all it would have taken was a thirty second delay, the driver slowing down for a moment, something distracting the puppy to get him off the road, anything.

Such a little thing for God to do, but He didn't.

And it's not just about the puppy, things now from the past I am questioning.

Things that I really thought God had in His plan for me, doors that opened, only to lose it all later.

I don't understand a bit of it.

[Frecs]

So sorry about the puppy.

Sometimes, things just don't make sense. Sometimes, to be honest, I get down right PO'd at God about stuff. I mean, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR. I stomp my feet and have a temper tantrum...give God the "what for" and a piece of my mind. Wanna know what He does? Wraps His arms around me and tells me it's okay. Tells me He sees things I don't and makes it make a whole lot more sense from His side of things....

Have you ever looked at the back of a tapestry (needlepoint)? I've done some needlepoint and I can tell you, if you look at the back, it's not so pretty...even when I learned how to secure the ends without knots...it still ain't purty like the front. What does that have to do with God not making sense? Well, simply this....we see life from the backside of the tapestry; God see life from the front. He sees the finished work in all it's splendor...we just see the work in progress.

God doesn't mind when we ask Him why...He don't even mind when we get peeved...really peeved... I know because if He minded, I'd have been struck by lightening a LONG time ago!

[ikester7579]

I faced a similar struggle just a few months ago when my mom died. Here is a letter I e-mailed to friends and also read at the funeral.

Hi,

My mother died Saturday at 1 pm. Due to a blood infection caused by digestive problems and over run yeast due to antibiotics.

I watch my mother go from someone you could hold a conversation with, to someone who made no sense, to someone in a coma. I watched her suffer through all of this and prayed for a healing that never came. Some might ask: Why trust in a God that allows such suffering? One that would not even answer your prayers.

Satan tried to play out on these feelings but my foundation is strong enough to where I eventually shrugged them off. The Bible says that every person has an appointed time to live, and a appointed time to die. Knowing this I also knew it was my mother's time to meet Christ. And no prayer of mine was going to stop this. After all, why should I try and deprive my mother of seeing Christ and living a pain free life and living forever? So it is selfish for me to want what I wanted, and take away what someone else needs and deserves.

I watch my mother suffer through all that pain, fighting to breathe, fighting that pain, to the point it made me ill that there was nothing I could do except be there. I got mad at the nurses who seemed to want to do nothing. and the doctors who were afraid to do anything because of her age. It would be easy to blame someone. And there are many things I could have reasoned to do so. But if it's your time to go, there is nothing that can be done to stop it. It was my mother's time. Time to meet Jesus.

My mother went to church for many years. Taught children's church class. She was also a painter. She taught me many things about the Bible and had me go to church when I was young. She reminded people of their own mothers where ever she went. and often was called mom by children who did not even know her in stores, And even by adults that did not know her as well. I have been told by many that my mom is special, to me she was just mom. And now when she is gone. I realize what was special. So many people to call and tell of her death and how many people who grieve at her passing. People who only met her once and feel as if they have known her all their life. And some it was like their own mother had died.

Now I spend this week making funeral plans. Her brother and sister are in town. So many things to take care of. Now it's up to me to try and be strong as people come to pay their respects. I am happy and sad at the same time. I go from one emotion to the other like a light switch controls a light bulb. not really sure which emotion will come next. This is the hardest most stressful thing I have ever gone through. But I can tell it will make me stronger in my faith.

After watching my mother suffer so, I did not want to see her after she passed. I figured that her death would make her look a lot worse and I did not want to remember her like that. My sister and brother went and were curious as to why she look good and she had a huge grin on her face. I believe she saw Jesus and even through all that pain she went into the arms of Christ and could not help but to smile. She died in peace and love. What a way to leave this world. I know that one day I will see her again. So what would seem to be the worse day of my life, actually turns out to be wondrous and eye opening.

The point is that all life has an appointed time upon this earth, no matter what kind of life maybe. Here is a video that pretty much sums up the message.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later.

We hold on to life tightly because this is the only life we can see. God sees and lives in eternity. So His wisdom concerning life is much better than ours.

[brakelite]

The essence of faith is not merely a belief in the existence of God, but a deep abiding trust in His character of love, regardless of the many things that happen in our lives for which we don't have answers. We all will die or be translated with unanswered questions , but we can be assured that in heaven they will be. All questions will be laid to rest, and we will praise God for His wisdom, and thank Him for the way He has led us throughout our lives. We will finally understand and know that in all things He knew what was best for us.
The test for us now is to trust Him regardless. Even in our darkest saddest perplexing moments, it is then we need look to Calvary and settle in our hearts that God is love, despite what our senses may be telling us.

God loves you. He is crazy about you, and is moving heaven and earth to accomplish His most cherished desire. That is that you will spend eternity with Him. Everything else pales into insignificance when compared with the deep abiding love that God holds for you. Trust Him. He will never let you down. Never!

[Daisy]

Thank you all for your answers, the answers help some. Many years ago, I watched my mother die from cancer, she was too young, 49, in my mind. At that time, I was very angry with God, you see, my faith told me He would heal her, and I so didn't understand why He didn't. It took me many years to realize that He did heal her, just not the way I wanted.

I really don't know why the death of this puppy has hit me so hard. About a month ago, we lost our old dog to old age and illness, she was 14 and lived a long life, and in my heart I can accept that as the natural order of things.

But when this puppy was killed, it just didn't make sense to me, as losing my unborn grandson a few years ago didn't make sense.

Maybe some things just aren't meant for us to understand, but even knowing that, it doesn't make it hurt any less.

[Frecs]

No, it doesn't make it hurt any less. Just curl up in your Father's lap and have a good cry. Let Him comfort you.

[Vhayes]

Daisy, when I read your original post 9and I have not read the responses yet) these were my thoughts:

Dear Father, thank you for Daisy. Thank you that you took a poor abused animal who had perhaps never known a kindness from a human and gave him to Daisy for a little while so he could experience the care that You have for us.

Daisy, the pup was not a gift for you - you were the gift to the pup.

Thank you for having a loving, giving heart!
V

[Daisy]

vhayes...of all the things said, that somehow makes the most the sense to me. Thank you.

[crawfish]

Daisy, when I read your original post 9and I have not read the responses yet) these were my thoughts:

Dear Father, thank you for Daisy. Thank you that you took a poor abused animal who had perhaps never known a kindness from a human and gave him to Daisy for a little while so he could experience the care that You have for us.

Daisy, the pup was not a gift for you - you were the gift to the pup.

Thank you for having a loving, giving heart!
V

That is a great post!

[decrumpit]

Hello Daisy, thanks for joining us here on our humble little subforum! Glad you can share your feelings with us. I too have had dogs, and I have felt the loss of a little animal dying. However, I have some scripture that might comfort you.

Mt. 10:29 Are not two sparrows sold for a copper coin? And not one of them falls to the ground apart from your Father’s will.

God knows his creation and he loves it. He came to redeem not only man, but creation as well. Your feelings are squarely in line with Godly stewardship.

Mt. 10:31 Do not fear therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.

But at the same time, he values you and humans more than he values sparrows. God cares more for you than any sparrow, dog, chimp, or whatever.

So when we think about suffering in the world, are we grieving over something like sparrows or are we grieving that some are destroying their lives because they don't love God? Are we upset that thousands die every day from cruelty and preventable disease, or are we staying up late thinking about our pets?

One of the strangest and most haunting parts of the Bible is the end of Jonah. It's only 4 chapters - I suggest you read it. After Jonah initially rejected the call to preach to Nineveh, he ended up inside of the big fish and reluctantly answered God's call. Nineveh responded positively, and so God saved the city. All during this time Jonah showed only minimal concern for Nineveh and only preached begrudgingly.

He then went away from the city and God gave him a lush vine to sleep under, which made him happier than he had been in a while. The next day, a worm killed the vine.

This made Jonah, angry, angry enough "to die". God then told him:

10 But the LORD said, "You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. 11 But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left, and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?"

Are you too concerned about a vine? I know I have been, and my relationship with God suffered like Jonah's. The puppy was brought into your life and left just as quick, but does its suffering compare with the suffering of the urban poor? Muslims? drug addicts? rape victims? We can make a lot more sense of our suffering if we realize that God is in control, and that nothing happens outside of his will. Perhaps your suffering was a way of showing you how you felt after losing a dog, and how much more intense the suffering of humankind is. Perhaps you can use this opportunity to see that human suffering eclipses anything that can happen to a dog, and use that to witness. Hope this helps!

[pekoe]

Hi Daisy.
I used to wonder the same things until my daughter Sarah developed a rare disease that finally ended her life in this world.

Please know, dear lamb, that everything in this world belongs to God and He has the best intention at heart for all.

Everyone knows this life is temporary. All people mourn over missing loved ones. Most people mourn because they think they'll never see them again. That kind of
sadness isn't for you and me.

"And you now therefore have sorrow, but I will see you again and your heart will rejoice and your joy nobody will take from you." Jn.16:22

[peyret]

Daisy,

These are all good answers. The illustration of the back of the tapestry is perfect. So many things may have been woven into your life, the lives of people on this board and perhaps even the driver of the car that struck the dog that would not have been had the puppy lived. We don't know and we cannot know until we reach the end ourselves. I have a strong belief that all will be revealed then.

[Daisy]

I have thought a lot about this, and the answers given, although only God knows all reasons. Yes, I miss my puppy, but I am now thankful that I had him in my life, even for such a short time, he was a comfort and blessing to me.

There has been so much hardship and heartbreak in my life over the last few years, and especially over the last year. I made a lot of poor decisions, and ended up with more heartache because of those decisions.

I have been trying so hard to work my way through these things, and finding my way back to where God wants me, and I guess that's why it hit me so hard when my pup was killed, making me question so much.

Thanks ya'll for your answers. I may not understand it all, but it's ok because everything is in His hands.

[Jeffinator]

I faced a similar struggle just a few months ago when my mom died. Here is a letter I e-mailed to friends and also read at the funeral.



The point is that all life has an appointed time upon this earth, no matter what kind of life maybe. Here is a video that pretty much sums up the message.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later.

We hold on to life tightly because this is the only life we can see. God sees and lives in eternity. So His wisdom concerning life is much better than ours.

Great video..thanks for sharing

[AriaAtEase]

Daisy,

I had a similar experience years ago. At the time, I was shocked that God had intentionally withheld his mercy. Like you stated, that one moment can be the doorway for unpleasant memories and hurts to resurface.

I did eventually get understanding and an answer to my 'why' question. I hope this helps you in some small way.

Using your puppy for an example:

You are probably much stronger than you realize, and God allows things that are difficult for a reason. They can wound and defeat you, as Satan intended; or you can choose to stand strong in the Lord and hold tight to your faith in spite of what your five senses tell you.

Let God do something awesome with what happened that day. The things Satan uses to destroy, God uses for his kingdom. He turns the tables on the adversary, and causes you to have victory after victory.

I hope my words have been helpful.

Examples of the kinds of suffering Paul and other Apostles endured for Christ:

II Corinthians 11:24-33 (New Living Translation)

24. Five different times the Jewish leaders gave me thirty-nine lashes.
25. Three times I was beaten with rods. Once I was stoned. Three times I was shipwrecked. Once I spent a whole night and a day adrift at sea.
26. I have traveled on many long journeys. I have faced danger from rivers and from robbers. I have faced danger from my own people, the Jews, as well as from the Gentiles. I have faced danger in the cities, in the deserts, and on the seas. And I have faced danger from men who claim to be believers but are not.
27. I have worked hard and long, enduring many sleepless nights. I have been hungry and thirsty and have often gone without food. I have shivered in the cold, without enough clothing to keep me warm.
28. Then, besides all this, I have the daily burden of my concern for all the churches.
29. Who is weak without my feeling that weakness? Who is led astray, and I do not burn with anger?
30. If I must boast, I would rather boast about the things that show how weak I am. 31 God, the Father of our Lord Jesus, who is worthy of eternal praise, knows I am not lying.

II Corinthians 12:7-8

7. ... even though I have received such wonderful revelations from God. So to keep me from becoming proud, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger from Satan to torment me and keep me from becoming proud.
8. Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away.
9. Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.
10. That’s why I take pleasure in my weaknesses, and in the insults, hardships, persecutions, and troubles that I suffer for Christ. For when I am weak, then I am strong.