What would you do in my shoes?
I attend a Baptist church. However, I disagree with several of its doctrines. I do not believe in eternal security, and I do not agree with the Calvinist interpretation of election. However, I am content to hold my peace and keep my beliefs to myself. I have no intention of going around trying to convert anyone to my beliefs.
I was honest with the pastor and told him honestly what my beliefs were. I did not want to be accepted as a member without being honest with him. After our talk, he's been preaching a lot about eternal security and election from the pulpit. This makes me really uncomfortable and really discourages me.
The church is not really full blown 5-point Calvinist. They don't believe in Limited Atonement, and neither do they believe that God controls everyone like puppets. They believe that man has free will, but admit that they don't understand how it works when (to them) Scripture says that God chose (but they forgot the "in him" part). So I can accept this version of "confused Calvinism" or "inconsistent Calvinism".
I have several reasons for staying. First, the people there are amazing. I have to say that they are the first genuine Christians that I've known all my life despite having been in a religious environment for many years. Godly, loving, sacrificial, non-judgemental, humble, easy to get along with and they're there for each other during tough times. The leaders have assured me that if I decided to stay, I can rest assured that no one is going to look at me funny or treat me any differently for my beliefs. They would still love me the same. And I have been led to the perspective that the pastor is preaching these things because of his concern for me (i.e. he wants me to believe the "truth" and don't want me to be misled), and I guess I will have to attribute what he's doing to insensitivity or perhaps a lack of emotional intelligence in this area. Like Scripture says, knowing that he's doing it out of a motive of love covers over the wrongs.
The second reason I'm staying is because I can't find a single good alternative in my entire country. The most numerous Arminian churches are Methodist churches (Pentecostal churches are out), and there are many aspects of their practices here in this country that I disagree with, including installing women to pastoral roles, preaching being shallow and not word-based, using worldly methods to bring in the numbers, etc. I've visited a few other non-denominational churches but I just didn't learn anything there because the preaching was shallow, or because they did several things which I disagreed with.
My problem: I feel extremely uncomfortable sitting in the service when these things are being preached to me week after week. I am fully convinced of the views I hold, and I can harmonize all of Scripture without contradiction where these issues are concerned, and although I am always willing to change my mind when I can be shown that I am wrong, I am confident that I have arrived at my view with clear conscience and honesty, having searched the Scriptures. I really feel discouraged when these things get preached to me week after week. It's really getting me down.
What would you do in my case? Any advice?
Tit 3:2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.