I'm really confused, and need some help.

[Will]

I don't believe in God, I struggle to take what I read in the Bible seriously and I'm completely confused about who I am and who I wish to be.

I don't come from a religious family. In fact my family are generally atheist, however whilst I have all my atheist ideas I can't help but feel that I'm being pushed in another direction. Like how I'm living is wrong and i'm missing something important. But I dont know where these feelings are coming from.

I recently graduated University with a degree in Philosophy, Ethics and World Religions, and since then Ive felt lost, but like I was being pulled toward something and without knowing it I was resisting it.

I dont wish to be rude, but I dont believe in God or the Bible or any of that stuff but even with that conscious disbelief I feel myself being drawn to them. I feel like i'm going insane.

I dont know but can anybody relate to any of this? Any advice?

Please.

[-SEEKING-]

You'll have a lot more feedback if you head on over to THIS area.

[Firefighter]

I sure can. If you don't already, you will start to catch yourself substituting other things as a "stand in". I tried everything to fill that hole that felt like it went all the way through my chest. Nothing ever come close to filling it. I finally realized what it was. It is now filled.

[ProjectPeter]

I moved this into the appropiriate forum for you. These guys can help you out.

[decrumpit]

Welcome to the forums!

I used to feel where you are, it is quite uncomfortable to think that you are in a battle with knowledge and that you have to choose between following an irrational, blind faith and a rational, coherent atheism. Some Christians and nearly all atheists seem to buy into this myth. If your heart is seeking God, then I would suggest that you spend your time searching his Word and letting him speak to you. Then, you can follow up with works that glorify God through good scholarship (I studied Philosophy too and I know how hard it is to find good Christian philosophy!) I started with the position that Scripture was not true (an emotional, not a rational decision) and then I opened my heart to the possibility that God could speak to us (which includes both ME and YOU!). If you allow yourself to simply be open to the Holy Spirit, you can see how God will speak through the Bible and see how you can come to a deeper understanding of the Scriptures and how they are not only true, but the basis of all truth. I'll ask you a question - how much of the Bible have you read? What kinds of issues are you struggling with? I can suggest any number of scholarly books about the Bible to you, in addition to the feedback you will get on this board. I sincerely hope you find Jesus!

[ProDeo]

I can't even imagine how (and what) you feel as I have never been where you are. Reading your words it looks like you feel incomplete, as if you are missing some body part or so. Can you define what you are missing? The usual suspects (for instance) are: missing a goal in life, the "feeling", is this all?, isn't there more out there?, what's the purpose of my life? and and and...these fundamental type of questions everyone has to deal with somehow, somewhere in life.

Living in a 21th century world where reason and logic is the norm society tends to neglect (even reject) our spirual part and when our spiritual part starts to rebel we nowadays find it strange. That's not so, it's normal. It's God's planted antenna (conscience) in you and looking at your words you are close.

[Dani H]

That means God is drawing you. I understand how that might be confusing to an atheist. But God is real, and right is still right and wrong is still wrong.

You're not going insane. At all. Take courage!

There is a reason people all in history have believed in a higher power. There is a reason for the order in the universe, and for the fact that we are able to reason and understand laws. There is a reason that all over the world, and in every culture, people have always struggled to understand morals and ethics and have spent years and years trying to figure out right from wrong and make sense out of everything. Because it matters.

I would encourage you to read the Bible. Not antagonistically or with any preconceptions. Not as a book of study so you can write an essay about it or argue for or against it. Just read it for what it is. Just listen to what it says. It's okay to have questions. It's fine to have doubts. It's alright to read it and wonder within yourself how on earth that can even all be true even though it's going to go exactly opposite to what you think and believe right now.

We believe that what sets the Bible apart from any other sacred text is that it is alive and that God's own breath and being continues to flow through it. That it has power, not by magic or anything superstitious but because God Himself speaks to us through it. If you read the Bible in any other way, it's going to continue to confuse you. Believe me, I know that because I've been there. It used to confuse the heck out of me until I dropped my own prejudices against it and started reading it with an open mind, ready to let it actually speak to me, into my life and being.

[watchinginawe]

I dont wish to be rude, but I dont believe in God or the Bible or any of that stuff but even with that conscious disbelief I feel myself being drawn to them. I feel like i'm going insane.

I dont know but can anybody relate to any of this? Any advice?

Please.

Will, I have worn those shoes.

On this side of the fence, I can look back and see now that all components of my being were not in agreement with my view of things. Of course that is going to make someone feel insane. To make it real easy, I had reasoned that death was it, the end, game over. I resolved that when the synergistic chemical reactions that gave me the consciousness to contemplate these matters ceased, I would also cease. I embraced my fate, I had to know! So for me, no fairy tale, no God, no Jesus, no Heaven, no crutch needed to help me along; I would die and that would be it. But something within me voiced that it was not represented in the deliberations. That part of me was not chemical.

[Bandit]

Hello Will,

I came from a non-religious family. They would have said that they believed in God and that they were Christian, but that is as far as it went. No church, nothing. I came into Christianity during junior-high and highschool. I kind of always knew there was a God, even if I didn't know much about God. I grew up in a very rural area, and for me it was easy to see from nature that there must be a Creator. Now when I got to college, I majored in physics, but I took 3 or 4 philosophy courses as electives. Those classes were very interesting at times. There was a fair amount of hard feelings (and sometimes open hatred expressed) for God, and Jesus. In those classes, as unprepared as I was, I turned out to be the lead "defender of the faith." There was this one girl, a philosophy major, who was one of the leading voices against God. Sometimes during our discussions, the God-haters (including her) would get very wound up; it seemed they just wanted to use that class to express their deep hatred for God, and to ridicule anyone who would believe in God. Well, I happened to run into that girl about 8 years later, in of all places, a church! It seemed that someone had finally gotten through to her with the truth of God and His love for mankind. She told me that even though she had argued against me in those classes, she had come away knowing deep down inside that her position was not rock solid, and in due time she eventually had to look closer at the Christian arguments. All I can say is that perhaps now is your time to dig into the many arguments for the existence of God, and for the God of the Bible being the one true God.

I am sure there are many here who can discuss from a more philosophical perspective than I. I will simply tell you that evolution is a lie and that Noah's flood really happened.