I will share my situation, but I would like to focus on this question in a general sense: how are we to know if God called us to do something or if it was ourselves wanting to do it?
I know when I started teaching I had a burning passion for it. I still enjoy teaching, but the passion isn't there. Maybe it's because of all the stress in my life with my health and college work. I prayed long and hard about this teaching position. I even prayed for God to close the doors for me if this wasn't something that He wanted me to do.
I've prayed for God to help me improve in my teaching, but it's not getting any easier. If God doesn't work on me and help me improve with my teaching, then I'm going to throw in the towel and step down from this position. Those children need someone better than me. That's the most important thing. But it greatly upsets me when I think about leaving this position. I believe someone else could do a better job at it, but I know I can do a better job if God helps me improve.
I truly thought that I was/am called to teach, but now I'm wondering if was just me wanting to take the position. I don't know, maybe I haven't been seeking or surrendering to God when it comes to this. I don't take this teaching position lightly. This is such an important responsibility. We are helping to build these children's spiritual foundation.
One thing that just came to my mind was a thought I had while I was seeking God about taking this teaching position. I thought it had came from God. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called. So I'm wondering when is God going to help qualify me because I feel that I do a lousy job, especially after watching someone else teach. I mean, I have to write down everything that I am going to talk to the children about and all the questions I want to ask or else I'll forget half of what I want to talk about in class. But my assistant just sat there talking to them asking them questions like she had done it every day.
I shared all of that, but really I just want to know how are we to know the difference if God has called us to do something or if it was us wanting to do it?