Re: Some scary stuff in book of Matthew.
Ok, so now that we know what the real issue is here, I think it would be wise on your part to do a couple of things. One is please please pray that God would reveal HIMSELF to you through His Word, help you to know know Him more. That's key when reading the scriptures, otherwise all you're going to see is a God that is all about rules rules rules and one who is impossible to please.
The other thing is this, spend a lot of time in prayer, just talking with Him and listening for Him to speak, seeking to know Him more. Not just once in a while, but daily, and not just for a week or so, but the rest of your days. As time passes, you'll know Him more, and as you pray to know Him more, you will know Him more, there is so much to God that we can never know all there is to know. And I don't mean to know ABOUT Him, which it seems that's what you have here, you know ABOUT Him, but you don't seem to know HIS CHARACTER, Him.
God is not angry with man, neither is he trying to rain on our parade, he wants to REIGN IN our parades and He wants us along side of him in that parade.
Apart from missing out on His character, you seem to be missing a huge piece of the puzzle. From the beginning God had the plan of redemption laid out for man, before ever a man was formed! Do you understand what that means? Before man sinned, a God of love, loved His future creation and planned on redeeming us before we even sinned. "The Lamb that was slain from the foundation of the world." Buster, he's trying to bring us to a perfect place, he's not trying to condemn us. He's trying to save us and He has already saved you because you believe. How simple is that!!! You didn't have to do the work, Jesus did it for you, you just believe and follow HIm. He gave everything for you, this should make you WANT to lay down everything for him as well.
God is trying to form us and bring us into a place where we look so much like Christ that people see God in us, that God is glorified in us.
2 Corinthinians 3: 18But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.
This is far from a curse buster, indeed it is the greatest blessing of all! But if we are not willing to lay down our sins, then how can we have this blessed opportunity? He's given us the power to overcome sin, and He's even given us the tools and believe me, righteousness is far better and weighs so much less than sin.
Romans 6:20For when ye were the servants of sin, ye were free from righteousness.
21What fruit had ye then in those things whereof ye are now ashamed? for the end of those things is death.
22But now being made free from sin, and become servants to God, ye have your fruit unto holiness, and the end everlasting life.
23For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Buster, I could go on until you are jumping out of your seat with joy from what God has done. But then it wouldn't be in your heart, you wouldn't fully grasp the goodness that God has shown toward us. With that said, I leave you with this, what I have written here, pray to God to reveal more of this to you, pray that He will cause your heart to truly know him in a deep and intimate way, and continue to pray for this. Don't give up because you don't get it right away, but keep going, pound on heaven's doors until you get what you want. But when you do get what you want, don't be surprised if you keep pounding because you want more! I know that I do.
Blessings to you and in your journey to find God.
Don't seek too much knowledge. You just may be putting more weight on your shoulders than you're able to bare. Let God be the one to decide how quickly you grow.