Overcoming loneliness

[watchman 2]

David Jeremiah has a good book called Slaying the Giants in your Life. It deals with loneliness and may be of help to people as it has to me. I am kinda lonely but a big part of the problem is my fault. I have started attending a new church with others my age and so I think my loneliness will be cured or at least reduced by going there. David Jeremiah gives some suggestions on what to do if you are lonely, one of which is to get more involved and memorizing scripture would be the greatest suggestion. However its mot the only cure, contrary to what some want you to believe.


John

[Slug1]

Are you "involved" with the church and all this church offers or do you only plan to attend the church?

I have talked with others who say that they are not happy with their church, they feel alone, unwanted by their church, etc.

I ask them what they do at their church and they tell me that they only go to service and that's it. Well, that is the problem, church is a central location for Christians to SERVE, not be ONLY served to.

Get involved, be available for the church, not make the church be available for you.

Soon as involvment IN the church is part of your life, much loneliness will go away.

If this is what the author means by being involved as you mentioned, I agree with that author.

[watchman 2]

No what he means is to get involved in a church with ways to connect. In laymen's terms this means going to a church with a good singles/career program and getting involved. This does not mean sticking around a church with a mean average age of 55 years and with little ways to connect. A heathy church will have groups, and ways for you to minister and get involved.

So yes the author is all for getting involved in a church and serving others. But the church needs to help you as well and have ways for you to connect and make friends. Its a two way street, and a unbalance in one extreme will affect the other.


John

[Slug1]

No what he means is to get involved in a church with ways to connect. In laymen's terms this means going to a church with a good singles/career program and getting involved. This does not mean sticking around a church with a mean average age of 55 years and with little ways to connect. A heathy church will have groups, and ways for you to minister and get involved.

So yes the author is all for getting involved in a church and serving others. But the church needs to help you as well and have ways for you to connect and make friends. Its a two way street, and a unbalance in one extreme will affect the other.


John

Ah... see the mean age at the church I serve God, I'd say that mean age is about 30-35 as an average if you took all the congregation. So, now that the definition of loneliness is more clear, I guess i my experience I'd only be able to offer thoughts. Our church doesn't have any singles/career related programs. The only ministry with singles is the Youth Group (11-18yrs), this wouldn't be very helpful.

Anyway... YES, get involved then and this will clearly lead to knowing more people and such a church with ministry involving singles. If they are experienced with this, should help you allot.

[baxpack7]

I agree with brutha Slug here. It sounds like you've found a good ministry to be involved with. Keeping busy is good!

[watchman 2]

Yeah everyone is called somewhere. I have had people disagree with my decision, but very few. I am the one in the situation and not others, so people can say what they want. The simple reality is that I am looking for ways to connect and was unable to do so at my old church so have moved on. Very very very few singles have stayed at my old church, as most have gone elsewhere where they could connect and make friends with others in their stage of life.

Ah... see the mean age at the church I serve God, I'd say that mean age is about 30-35 as an average if you took all the congregation. So, now that the definition of loneliness is more clear, I guess i my experience I'd only be able to offer thoughts. Our church doesn't have any singles/career related programs. The only ministry with singles is the Youth Group (11-18yrs), this wouldn't be very helpful.

Anyway... YES, get involved then and this will clearly lead to knowing more people and such a church with ministry involving singles. If they are experienced with this, should help you allot.

[Dani H]

The matter of connection is what to connect over. There has to be common ground.

In the church setting, that common ground would foundationally be Jesus Himself. Because church is ultimately about Him.

However, on a human level, we also need to connect with people over common interests, with people who regardless of age, "get" us and can relate to us where we can be accepted and understood. Physical age often has zero to do with anything, but what matters more in my experience, is individual maturity both emotionally and spiritually. It's about serving, it's about discipling and being discipled, it's about mentoring and being mentored, etc. It's about basic things like friendships and true fellowship and true human connections.

Go out and plug yourself in. Trust God that He put us all in a body of other believers for the express purpose of us not being lonely and isolated.

Our fellowship is to be with the Lord, of course, but secondarily and no less importantly, with one another.

[svfox]

It is better to give than to receive.

Donate your time to Nursing Homes. You will be surprised how you meet people out of the blue as God blesses your giving.

[MercyChild]

If I can add my input other then getting involved with others is that I have just moved out on my own, and I was devistated for being alone. Then someone told me how can we be lonely if God is with us all the time. So, if He is with us, beside us and inside us, when I do get lonely I speak to Him. When I feel the need to be between others I ask Him to lead me to the places and the people He wants me to meet with. I should add, since I have done this I have a very busy schedule, but most of all I found it was through having a family (church) that I am being led to others.

So, remember how can we be lonely if we are not alone, if God is always with us!

[baxpack7]

Excellent point MC! Thank you for that thought.