Locked in a spiritual battle for a year

[christianwrr]

I know that this is a forum about breaking bondages and problems. Needless to say, I'm still locked in a spiritual warfare for a year (the most intense) and have been experiencing very unusual things and I feel like I'm the only one who is going through this.

I have been experiencing spiritual attacks even when I was a child not knowing any better. Abused as a child (forgiven my parents for it and moved on) and lived in a state and experienced some of the most disturbing things at the time as a teenager.

Lived at a house that was haunted that I heard noises, footsteps, felt cold chills, saw black shadows, saw a outlines of black and white ones. Been choked in my sleep, heard voices while sleeping, been tossed over the bed, heard eerie laughters, and yet, in this specific time, I heard a very calming small voice saying, "wake up and pray" I would get many wake ups from this small still voice warning me of danger before I get attacked in my sleep. I felt a very inner warmth of a hand that calmed me from my throat to my stomach and I felt at ease and joy at the same time. I felt God's presence in my darkest hour. Also in this point in time, I was praying, reading my bible, and trying to understand more about God.

The only times that I felt the feeling of night terrors and choking is usually if I was so tired that I couldn't wake up or if I played a game that contains violence/horror or watched a movie horror/spiritual movies. You would think I would know this from now that it was opening portals to the demonic kingdom.

I've done many things I wasn't proud of as I was trying to blend in with this world. Sexual immorality, alcohol, drugs, rock, rap (vulgar music), techno/trance, horoscope, psychic readings, and so forth. I've became so corrupt in character. God was with me during those times because, the things that I faced is unimaginable.

I know that I've experienced so much of the supernatural both good and bad (more on the bad side) that, I would recommend to steer clear of anything that would open yourself up to spiritual attacks that are through movies, music, images, books, games, etc. Use discernment by all means. You have to keep yourself guarded at all times. Not to say that God isn't powerful enough to break the bondages because, he's God Almighty. There are unnecessary warfare not knowingly through these things. Some is just from every day life. Others can be prevented if you put on your full armor of God. Granted all who believes and received Jesus as their Lord and Saviour as children of God we are seated in heavenly places with Christ and are given spiritual authority to command demons to leave. It doesn't work effectively if you intentionally lure them your way. I'm certain that God is still with me, otherwise, I wouldn't be here to tell you this. I'm glad that God is so merciful, full of love, slow to anger, and compassionate. God has been my superman many times in the past in the face of danger (some close to death).

I fasted just this past week seeking for answers why can't I hear from God. Is it a test? Is he waiting for me to press harder, going through another trial? All I hear is the enemy and they are blowing themselves up as if they were bigger than God.
From this fast, I've seen things much clearer of the demonic side, big black pythons, dragons, hellish creatures, list goes on. I've read my bible, prayed, tried to rest, and worshiped him. Nothing. Different shapes and sizes. They went as far as telling me that its too late to go back God. I'm their chosen one. The fact is, never to trust what the enemy says. Since their objective is to steal, kill, and destroy. So that also means lies.

I would love to encounter God again and thats why I'm asking for all your prayers. I need all the encouragement I can get to breakfree of all bondages. Help me to breakthrough this tough challenge in my life. I believe that God allowed me to go through all that I have gone through because one its freewill, but, I believe he has a bigger plan. Perhaps use all my failures as a testimony to people who are going through one of these things right now.

I'm still holding on to the promises of God. Through several Prophets who spoke to me regarding me used by God for his agenda and that its going to lead people to repentance.

I've done alot of repenting and asking God to set me free. Even had to renounce some of the things I did. God has the solution and I'm open to it. I'm waiting on him to respond and in the meantime once again, please pray for me to be delivered from all evil. I spoke to a a few people about my spiritual attacks and they told me that its a good thing and that means that I'm a threat to the enemy's kingdom. Ummm... Its not easy going through it. The enemy is telling me to give up and to surrender to them. Thats not an option that I'm taking. I'm putting a resistance and getting back in God. I don't blame God on anything but, yet, when I read the bible. Job was tormented by Satan and thought it was from God. David was constantly being persued by Saul, his own son Absalom tried to kill him, Daniel was in the lions den, Elijah was being chased by Jezebel and so forth. I'm no hero of any kind, so, I'm glad there are actual men who led a life that were constantly relying on God to deliver them of their enemies

[baxpack7]

(Quote) "I'm putting a resistance and getting back in God. I don't blame God on anything but, yet, when I read the bible. Job was tormented by Satan and thought it was from God. David was constantly being pursued by Saul, his own son Absalom tried to kill him, Daniel was in the lions den, Elijah was being chased by Jezebel and so forth. I'm no hero of any kind, so, I'm glad there are actual men who led a life that were constantly relying on God to deliver them of their enemies" (End quote)

We,as men certainly identify with these men that you have indicated in your post. They all had their flaws, yet they always came to put all their faith (ultimately) in God the Father. I will certainly offer up that to remain out of that occultic circle, there must be no evidence at all of those former practices. Even that little (seemingly) harmless practice of reading horoscopes opens the door for satan to send his demons to torment you. As long as you distance yourself from those things, eventually satan will have no recourse, but to not bother you with those things occultic. That doesn't mean that he'll leave you alone entirely, just that he'll have to find other ways to bother you.

[christianwrr]

That is true.

I don't know if you read this book called Hung by the Tongue by Francis P. Martin. Basically he talks about the way you think and could either produce life or death. Meaning, if I think negative thoughts about people, myself, or other things would produce death. By our attitudes, we could attract the enemy or God. He talks about how its important to breakdown the thought patterns of the world and renew your mind by scriptures and having a personal relationship with God. The Holy Spirit as your counselor. I'm half way through and its a very easy to pick and read and understand. I would recommend it to anyone who has a hard time to break out of that mentality. Who living in fear of affliction, circumstance, etc. It attracts the enemy to you which brings torment. There were more things covered, but, I would recommend reading it than me covering everything.

Also, I found this very encouraging in todays devotion reading

Psalms 25
1 In you, LORD my God,
I put my trust.

2 I trust in you;
do not let me be put to shame,
nor let my enemies triumph over me.
3 No one who hopes in you
will ever be put to shame,
but shame will come on those
who are treacherous without cause.

4 Show me your ways, LORD,
teach me your paths.
5 Guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.
6 Remember, LORD, your great mercy and love,
for they are from of old.
7 Do not remember the sins of my youth
and my rebellious ways;
according to your love remember me,
for you, LORD, are good.

8 Good and upright is the LORD;
therefore he instructs sinners in his ways.
9 He guides the humble in what is right
and teaches them his way.
10 All the ways of the LORD are loving and faithful
toward those who keep the demands of his covenant.
11 For the sake of your name, LORD,
forgive my iniquity, though it is great.

12 Who, then, are those who fear the LORD?
He will instruct them in the ways they should choose.[b]
13 They will spend their days in prosperity,
and their descendants will inherit the land.
14 The LORD confides in those who fear him;
he makes his covenant known to them.
15 My eyes are ever on the LORD,
for only he will release my feet from the snare.

16 Turn to me and be gracious to me,
for I am lonely and afflicted.
17 Relieve the troubles of my heart
and free me from my anguish.
18 Look on my affliction and my distress
and take away all my sins.
19 See how numerous are my enemies
and how fiercely they hate me!

20 Guard my life and rescue me;
do not let me be put to shame,
for I take refuge in you.
21 May integrity and uprightness protect me,
because my hope, LORD,[c] is in you.

22 Deliver Israel, O God,
from all their troubles!

[Dani H]

All who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus shall suffer persecution.

If you've set your mind on following the Lord, there's going to be resistance.

Which is important to recognize, yet secondary only to the resistance within ourselves.

If you want God to speak to you more, read your Bible more. It IS His Word, after all.

People are all like "oh I want God to speak to me personally all the time".

Well, He's already spoken to us a) through His Son (Hebrews 1) and b) through His written Word. What are we doing about that? Are we listening and obeying?

First things first. Foundation first, then the walls and windows and doors and roof and so forth.

Let God build your house. Let Him build a solid foundation with you on the Rock, one that will withstand the storms of life.

[christianwrr]

Okay an update on how things are. Please don't stop praying for me and "others" too...

Spiritual battles are getting less and less. I had to constantly renew my mind and be convinced that God is the only one that could pull me out of this situation. A few things that has been helping in the midst of this storm that I'm facing with the "enemy" is praising God I've been told is another weapon of warfare. Worshiping God has helped me also. The more I draw closer to God, the more the enemy tried to stop me by disturbing me in my sleep with demonic dreams and seeing dark outlines and eyes at night. So to counter this, I would praise God and just love on him more and more and receiving love back. The bible is filled with scriptures that talks about his love for his people. Whether this is a trial, test, or being disciplined. I never want to turn away from God. That would leave me vulnerable for an attack, also would prevent me from receiving God's best on my life. The devil can't stand it when I love God more, when I praise him more (from my heart and not with mere words), when I worship, and read the bible and this has to do with the attitude of my heart. If I have the wrong attitude, for me personally, it doesn't quite work out. If I'm giving lip service, it doesn't really benefit me either. Even while writing this, I'm still feeling attacked, but, I'm making God bigger in my mind. Remember, God is God alone (well including Jesus, they are one and the same) and the devil isn't God. Jesus didn't merely died on the cross for our sins and bridge the gap so that when we ask Jesus to be our Lord and Savior that we have access to the God the Father and be forgiven of our sins. He also took the keys from death and hades. He gave us authority over the demons. Even better, he promised us eternal life for those who believe in Jesus dying on the cross and raising from the dead. That he is from God and only through Jesus can you go to God. To stay faithful to him and do what is pleasing in his sight.

This isn't a battle that I could face alone. Even though I'm facing legions of demons, God is still bigger. Don't allow them to bother you. Put on the full armor of God according to Ephesians 6:10-17. Make God your strong tower, take refuge in him, rest and know that he's in charge no matter what. Don't be intimidated by the enemy. The devil fears you more than you fear him. Not to be arrogant, but, fear God and not the devil nor any man. Really, fear God because if you read bible the things he did, the curses, the blessings, the deliverances, the signs and wonders, and the creative miracles. It really shows you how awesome God is and awesome isn't the exact word that could describe God.

Someone said that the biggest demon covers the earth named dominion. I don't know how much truth is to it because I haven't seen it and don't want to. God on the other hand, holds the earth in the palm of his hands. Many people who had encounters with God said that the universe can't contain him... Its the other way around. So, this is to give you an idea of how big and mighty our God is. Another thing to know that God is "the creator of all things". Everything that is natural is from God from mankind, animals, insects, nature... Everything naturally made is from God. The storms, lakes, rivers, valleys, beaches, etc. You get the idea. Make God bigger than the devil. Satan can't defeat God and nor can his army. I think that is awesome that God has no equal, not even close. I also like the fact that he knows everything before we do it. I can't find the scripture to back that up, but, I recalled reading that several times and I think that is just... More than AMAZING. He knows our comings and goings. When we go to sleep and get up and pray.

is a must and acknowledging that he's always there no matter what. What I've noticed is they are trying to convince me that God has abandoned. Don't buy the lie (thats if you hear the enemy or even thinking that). Don't ever think that God isn't there no matter if its a spiritual oppression, a health condition, or even in other areas. For me, I feel that this trial in the midst of suffering is having me to depend on him so much more than ever. I had to search scriptures that talks about God delivering his people (Israelites) during their times of suffering and oppression. Psalms was another helpful one. Psalms 23 and 91 was my comfort. God is always there according to Hebrews 13:5 Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” Even when he's silent and not responding, he's still there.

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea; though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. Selah. The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our stronghold. Selah. Psalm 46:1-3,7

‘Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ Isaiah 41:10

For those who hear thoughts the enemy has cleverly disguised it as if it was my own.... I caution those who aren't aware, please discern your own thoughts and see a pattern forming. One thing they disguised as my own is "I'm getting sick" "I'm defeated" "God has abandoned me" "I hate...." Get the picture? How do I know its not my thought? Simply. I don't negatively. Other times, I wasn't certain because, so I repented and moved on. Main thing, take those thoughts captive and make it obedient to Christ according to scriptures. Don't linger nor focus on such negativity because the enemy will do it more and more. Causing them to barrage you with more negativity. Keep drawing near to God and the best thing to do is surrender your will over to Jesus. Also they kept mentioning that I was getting too powerful for them and that they were going to take me home because I'm a threat. Okay, this is caution you to be careful when hearing these things. It could make you prideful, arrogant, perhaps proud. Its a red flag across the board and I caution you don't believe anything that the devil tells you. They would also insert a truth in a lie. Don't believe me? Read in the bible what they did to Eve, in so deceiving Adam. What Satan try to do to Jesus. Also how Satan got David to sin against God by taking a census of the Israelites. You get the idea. Never believe what they say. Even though its partial truth. Get your answers directly from either the 3 in 1 (Father, Spirit, Son) and I caution those who starting to hear voices especially with the supernatural (I'm not talking about going crazy). Hopefully you have someone you could trust that is a Godly man or woman (preferably the body of Christ) to help you discern these type of spirits. I'm saying this not to scare you, but, because I've experience with deceiving spirits and alot of times I found myself needing the body of Christ (intercessors, prayer warriors, prophets, and seers) when I was going through discernment of spirits. I still need aid until I feel comfortable on my own.

I hope I'm making sense as I feel that I'm just babbling on and on. If you have a testimony you would like to share, by all means do so. Thanks for viewing.

[cheech]

You aren't babbling. In the physical military during basic training they go through Psyops and physical combat. What you feel physically is the physical combat...what you are going through mentally (quit, you can't win, etc) is the psyops part. Typical military training. The object of the the enemy in this training is to weaken you and get you to break down. The object of God is to build you up in spiritual strength. You are at a point where you have to put your trust soley on God because only he can get you through this.

Patient endurance...endure the attacks patiently. Learn to work through the attacks and not allow them to distract you...believe me, easier said than done but it's possible. To hear a voice say "get up and pray" sounds like a very direct order. Pray for God to wake you before the attacks hit so you can be alert and praying giving you more coverage. When you do pray, read aloud from Psalms...27, 30, 34, 35, 37, 40, 91, 144 and others. Remember the word of God is your sword...use it!

Renounce anything and everything you did in the past that could be an open door for the enemy to attack. Cling to God and he will cling to you.

Praise amidst the suffering...and it sounds like you are doing just that!

You are learning soldier...but you must stay away from those things that bring on the attacks...the ones you mentioned. When you feel the enemy around, cast him away in the name of Jesus...Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. James 4:7.

Believe me...I know what you are going through.

[baxpack7]

We'll remain in prayer for you my brother

[christianwrr]

Hi peeps,

Just an update again since I've been away from this forum from awhile. I thank you kindly for the encouragement through the body of Christ and how you guys display such love. I'm not out of the waters yet, but, through the advices given and prayers are helping me to overcome the enemy and not fear them but, to fear the Lord almighty.

My heart is for the people out there who are broken, persecuted, widowed, orphaned, and what have you. Inspiration comes from the life of Jesus and his disciples, but, also Heidi Baker if you heard of her. When you talk about loving like Jesus and having the lifestyle of beattitudes. She makes it her own. Not to make her bigger than God, but, honestly, you don't find that many people that loves like she does and takes a beating (physically, mentally and I'm guessing spiritually) from people and loves them unconditionally.

Also, I want to love them as I've been going through alot with people and learned the hard way to forgive and let go. To not to curse but, to bless my brothers and sister's in Christ as we are not warring against flesh and blood but against satan and his minions. I encourage you that if you've been hurt by people (family, friends, strangers, etc), by all means don't take it personally. Please forgive them from your heart and bless them and pray for your enemies. So that way your heavenly father can forgive you of your sins. Don't let bitterness, envy, rage, jealousy, unforgiveness, and the likes because its not what Jesus wants from us. Honestly, you don't want eternal suffering for these sins that somebody did you wrong. Its not easy, but, I've been through alot of that and in alot of ways I had to learn to overcome the insults and persecutions. As Jesus has commanded us to Love the Lord Your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength and then love your neighbor as yourselves. Hopefully you don't hate yourself either cause I've been through that too. What I'm trying to say here is that according to
^{Romans 8:28
28} And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who^[a] have been called according to his purpose.

I'll make a separate forum to give you a short story of my life later...

So if you think your life is so bad that that no one can understand you or relate to your problems. I'm not using this as an excuse, but, honestly..... Jesus has suffered more than we have. Also the life of Paul, who in their right mind would suffer and endure that much like he did. Seriously. Been beaten, jailed, stoned, persecuted, flogged, ship wrecked, bitten by a snake, whipped, and so on. He had such a bad life and yet he got a glimpse of heaven and thats what counted. He knew that this life was temporary and his suffering would only be for a period of time and eternity in heaven. Also Jesus' grace was sufficient and was made perfect in his weakness. For Jesus is stronger.

Also, I wanted to share a few links for encouragement. Those of you that heard lies of the enemy, this is a short video (mainly text) but, helpful. It was well put and I felt that there may be some of you that are going through this. So out of faith, I'm going to share it with you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6j0QDIVTJ2o&feature=mfu_in_order&list=UL
The enemies lies and what God thinks of us.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voak1RM-pXo
Testimony of Mickey Robinson
Just warning you that this is almost an hour long but, a powerful testimony to show you just how God loves people and its not too late to turn back if you're living in sin. Start now.

God bless you all!