Funny Church sign......lol!

[KATMAN]

I was watching the weather tonight and the weatercaster showed a funny church sign.
It said "Whoever is praying for snow,please stop." I don't know where that sign was at,but I looked outside and saw the snow, the inch thick ice on the roads,not to mention the incoming weather,more snow and colder tempatures,I just had to agree.

[matthew7and1]

HA! That was a good one!

[Vhayes]

Somewhere in Arkansas, a 9 year old child kneels by his bed, clasps his hands and prays, "Hi God. This is Chuck. Remember last week when I asked for snow? Well, it was really because I didn't want to take the math test because I didn't think I could answer the questions. But the snow is causing all sorts of problems and we even have a sign at church about whoever prayed for snow to stop. So, here I am God, telling you that I don't know how to turn it off but You do. So please - would you make it stop now? Oh - and I really have studied for the test and I'm pretty sure I can pass now. Amen."

[episkopos]

The snow must go on!!!

[karenoka27]

The snow must go on!!!

Say it ain't snow!...

Sorry, I got caught up in the moment...

[Vhayes]

S'not funny. :-(

[karenoka27]

S'not funny. :-(

You s'now it is funny...

[episkopos]

This is snow time for flakes!

[Phish]

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of church morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Some members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and everyone about what he was doing.

Henry, a man of few words, stared at her and walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house and walked home. He left his truck in front all night...

[Phish]

A Jesuit was out for a drive and crashed into another car, only to discover that the other driver was a Franciscan.

“It was my fault,” each insisted—as is only right and proper with religious men.

Concerned, the Jesuit said, “You look badly shaken up, Father. You could probably use a good stiff drink right now to calm down.”

He produced a flask and the Franciscan drank from it and said, “Thank you, Father; I feel much better now. But you’re probably shaken up too. Why don’t you have a drink as well?”

“I will,” the Jesuit replied, “but I think I’ll wait until after the police have come.”

[Phish]

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church Ladies' Group
in Tuscaloosa , but forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered
it the morning of the bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets,
found an angel food cake mix & quickly made it while drying her hair,
dressing, and helping her son pack up for Scout camp.

When she took the cake from the oven, the centre had dropped flat and
the cake was horribly disfigured and she exclaimed, "Oh dear, there is
not time to bake another cake!" This cake was important to Alice
because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new
community of friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house
for something to build up the centre of the cake. She found it in the
bathroom - a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered
it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it
looked perfect. And, before she left the house to drop the cake by the
church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter and gave her some
money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the moment it
opened at 9:30 and to buy the cake and bring it home.

When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found the attractive, perfect
cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone & called her
mom. Alice was horrified-she was beside herself! Everyone would know!
What would they think? She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed!
All night, Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing fingers at
her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself she would try not to think about
the cake and would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home
of a fellow church member and try to have a good time. She did not
really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than
once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single
parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having
already RSVP'd , she couldn't think of a believable excuse to stay
home.. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old
south and to Alice's horror, the cake in question was presented for dessert!

Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake! She
started out of her chair to tell the hostess all about it, but before
she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "what a beautiful
cake!" Alice, still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the
hostess (who was a prominent church member) say,
"Thank you, I baked it myself."

[Dani H]

Nothing to say here except ...

[Dani H]

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts. She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bicycle.
Your Friend,
Johnny

Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a brat). So he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Johnny

Well, Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.

Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a bicycle?
Johnny

Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and went running out of the house. He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic church. Johnny went inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what he should really do. Johnny finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary and ran out the door.

He went home, hid the statue under his bed and wrote this letter:

Jesus,
I've got your mom. If you ever want to see her again, give me a bike.

You know who

[Cloudwalker]

Mildred, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of church morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Some members did not approve of her extracurricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Henry, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Henry and everyone about what he was doing.

Henry, a man of few words, stared at her and walked away. He said nothing. Later that evening, Henry quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house and walked home. He left his truck in front all night...

This sounds similar to something some friends of mine and I pulled on a coworker that was a gossip. One of the things he had tried to start was that the female of our group was dating one of our maint. men (the other member of the group in question). The next week he had them married and the week after that they were married and had kids. We knew that he had a habit of snooping in other peoples belongings so I wrote a note (btw, I have changed the names, actually I have made up names because I can't remember their real names anyway). It read "Tim, You and Debbie meet me at the Days Inn. I already have the room." We left the note were he would see it if he snooped, and we are positive he did see it. For some reason, however, we never heard another piece of gossip come out of him.

[amazzin]

Snow What ?