Re: Seeking the Holy Spirit's guidance
Your post makes me think of how often I've expected it to be a great deal more obvious to me that God is helping me along by His Spirit at work in me... Looking back, there's times when I've thought I was struggling on in my own strength, and it's only in retrospect when I see how my attitude and behaviour was actually way more than I'm capable of, and the Spirit had clearly been doing a great deal more than I could see in the moment. We expect Him to be pretty flashy in empowering us - oftentimes, in my experience, He's subtle and delicate and kinda sweeps us off our feet without us even noticing. When I read of how often you're inspired to pray, how aware you are of your need for God, how considerate you are about the ministry which God has revealed for you - I see the Spirit at work, the Spirit at work, and the Spirit at work!
But likewise, I know that ache, that longing to feel the stirring within, the overwhelming beauty of it and the reminder of God's righteous seal on your life. I totally get that. And for me, there's 3 things that I would look to when I need that "fellowship of the Spirit" if you will.
First, worship. Does your church worship truly edify you, do you really feel you're all pouring out your heart to God as you stand with your church family there? If not, perhaps the fresh fire of spending a week or two with a new congregation could help you re-connect with the power of shared wonder & adoration. For me, full-hearted worship often brings the Spirit almost bursting through my skin, my tongue, and my lips!
Second, prayer. You've already made it clear you pray a great deal - but perhaps the familiarity is making it into habit. Perhaps what you really need is to rediscover quite how special it is, to come and talk to the creator of everything, as His beloved child. Set aside special time for withdrawn prayer, very early in the morning is often ideal. Try and approach prayer in a different way to your norm - again, rekindle that fire that might be feeling luke-warm through being overly formulaic in your approach.
Third, and this might not appeal to you - fasting. Fasting as a spiritual discipline, for me, has never failed to drastically change my outlook and my experience of life, and of God, for those few days. It's like I'm in a different world - and always, always makes me infinitely more aware of God's hand, and His Spirit within.
I'll add a number four, though it's not really something for you to do, exactly; get people to pray for you. God could be grabbing your attention like this for any number of reasons, and the more people praying that the resolution would become clear to you, the better! I'll start you off once I'm done here
I don't sign off "God bless" these days, as it seems somewhat flawed - so, as it's fairly pertinent to your situation, I'll say rather:
May you become ever-increasingly aware of the endless blessings He delights in pouring out over you, His dearly beloved.
Call to Me and I will answer you, and will tell you great and hidden things that you have not known. Jeremiah 33:3
You put the stars in the sky and you know them by name, You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same, You are amazing, God.
I do not 'hope' I am saved and I do not 'think' I am saved, I know it with an absolute conviction. I know that I am saved just as I know that I think and I know that I feel. I am purchased and sealed, His possession.