Marital Relations during Fasting? (1 Cor 7:5)

[RollTide21]

I don't have a problem with the concept. Whether I have ever fasted in the past, am fasting now, or will fast in the future is (a) no one's business and (b) irrelevant; however, if I chose to fast, and through weakness of the flesh did not complete the fast in the manner than I intended, I have a hard time thinking that either God would be upset or punish me or that somehow the fast would be "disqualified." That makes it sound like earning brownie points, which would indeed be a work of the flesh.

And if you are with me 99% of the time, you are one sick, twisted individual.

God "upset" with us? Hmm...I don't know if I would put it like that. Punish us? Certainly not. God's glory or Spirit being unable to be revealed in the manner in which it was intended for that particular act? Sure.

If we fast, it should be because the Spirit leads us to fast. We wouldn't just decide "I'm going to fast because I think God would like this." THAT is a works-based decision. If that is the case, we are shortcutting a Spirit-led act. I liken it to my recent decision to become more involved in my Church. I felt like the Lord was leading me to really get involved more in the activities of my church. That meant doing more than just going every week with my wife and kids. We joined a Sunday School class that is involved in service projects around the community. Well, if I decided to skip Sunday School a couple of times a month or miss the service projects because I wanted to play golf or something, I'm choosing not to follow the leading of the Spirit. I don't think that God is going to get "mad" at me. But...I do think that He has a purpose for where He is leading me and that I can't be fully in His Will if I don't give Him my all in that.

[Al_S]

As other people have said, I don't interpret the verse you provided to preclude sex while fasting, only adding it as an option (or a different type of fasting.)

I do have a couple questions/thought though, and forgive me if this gets a little personal. Ultimately the decision to forgo sex during a fast or not should come down to what you and your spouse think. I think it'd be important to discuss this issue with him/her and based on your statements in the OP, it appears you haven't (not sure of your partner's sex drive.) Talk to him/her about it and see. I'm also a it curious on your word choice here. do you use the word partner because you are uncomfortable sharing your gender? Are you having relations out of marriage or other sinful relations? I don't need the answers to these things, but your choice of wording raised these questions in my mind. If you are having a relations defined as sinful, I think it would distract from your relationship with God both in and outside of fasting. I'm not making any accusations or anything, forgive me if I offend, this was what weighed on my heart when reading your post.

[Extravagance]

engaged, male and she is female and we have not had relations yet, but some things you can just tell.

My church says don't fast until you can't stand not to. But the stories people have about experiencing God and my own experiences make fasting so desirable. But sometimes you fast and don't experience God, and I don't want to do it because I'm not obeying 1cor 7:5. But this thread has helped me see that's not an issue.

Jesus also said blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom. Those who know they need more of God and pursue wholeheartedly with hunger.

[Al_S]

engaged, male and she is female and we have not had relations yet, but some things you can just tell.

My church says don't fast until you can't stand not to. But the stories people have about experiencing God and my own experiences make fasting so desirable. But sometimes you fast and don't experience God, and I don't want to do it because I'm not obeying 1cor 7:5. But this thread has helped me see that's not an issue.

Jesus also said blessed are the poor in Spirit for theirs is the Kingdom. Those who know they need more of God and pursue wholeheartedly with hunger.

Ah, that explains it. Congratulations! My advice then would be to openly communicate with her about this (either now or after marriage.) it is important to be open about things like this so that neither of you develop bad feelings towards the other. Healthy and open conversation about you spiritual and sex lives will also help strengthen your marriage.