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Thread: Coming out of the Darkness

  1. #1
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    Coming out of the Darkness

    Prior to November 14, 2011 I was on the verge of a complete and self-destructive shut down. I came from a home were I suffered extreme sexual, physical, mental and spiritual abuse for long years during my childhood/teen years. I cannot even possibly exegerate the severity of the abuse. The main perpetrator was a male adult whose sadistic hatred for me seem to know no bounds, he had no bounderies. He raged on me or calmly shamed and humiliated me by doing things to me or forcing me to do with no conscience at all. Even though I truly did not accept what was happening I really thought that this was all normal life for me. When I left at 18, I was truly a frankenstiens monster inside me, I felt like I was trying to stitch together all pieces left over after all the destruction done to me. So many difficulties came with that past. If I had fully comprehended the immense damage done and the years long road to healing I would've ended my life. An inability to trust any human being. Deep anger issues. Difficulty interacting with others on a personal level. I had deep flashbacks whenever I was around police or medical ppl. My father wore a badge before going into the medical profession. He used his police equipment to hurt me so many times. I would feel ghost pains all over my body whenver I saw a police officer or anyone with a badge. I just wanted to run. I had no idea how to be a man. And I had homosexual feelings as well, which I was not at peace with. And the nightmares, so severe and haunting and affected my ability to sleep. I lived walled away from everyone. I had, at times, great difficulty understanding what others were saying, because everything was filtered thru my father's mouth in my mind. Statiscally, I am not suppose to be here. And I shouldn't be. That alone is proof of God's mercy and love for me thru his Son Jesus, my personal Saviour and comforter. I begged God, when I was 14, with a tears of dispair to please not let me go no matter what. What a merciful God to keep me from being a statistic. I am on the new journey in a walk with God our Lord. I have hope for the first time in my entire life. I am worth something. My life has meaning and purpose. Am I totally healed? No. But I am saved. My life will never be totally normal. I wished it was. I want to make friends. Do things with other people like sports, fish or gather for prayer or anything normal. And the good news is that the journey has begun. I am so grateful to God for giving me a changed heart. A Bible for my comfort and healing. And a church were I can praise and worship. I hope this gives hope and a blessing to whoever reads. God truly is the only miracle worker. My being here is proof. Jesus is the reason for my being saved, alive and reborn. I am so happy. Amen

  2. #2
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    WOW... The mercy of God .... endures forever. Powerful testimony.

    Phil 3:8 Yea doubtless, and I count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord: for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and do count them but dung, that I may win Christ,
    9 And be found in him, not having mine own righteousness, which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith:
    10 That I may know him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made conformable unto his death;
    11 If by any means I might attain unto the resurrection of the dead.
    12 Not as though I had already attained, either were already perfect: but I follow after, if that I may apprehend that for which also I am apprehended of Christ Jesus.
    13 Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,
    14 I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.


    I give you a big hug in Christ's name.

    Amen

  3. #3
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Tremendous testimony - one I am certain will be mightily used of the Lord.


  4. #4
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    May God bless you DOUBLE for sharing your testimony!
    And by the way, welcome to the board, friend!
    My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

    "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)

  5. #5
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Thanks for the blessings and very helpful Bible verses. I've been in a study Bible since november. I am not very fast. I've read the 4 Gopels and I am almost complete with Acts. There is so much to be blessed by, so much faith and wisdom knowledge. I read a few verses or a chapter and the Holy Spirit blesses me with eye opening. The next day I go over the same verses or chapter and wow more eye opening! So was truly blessed by the shared Bible verses shared above thank you. Pure comfort, hope and guidance needed. May God bless you Servant89, IMINXTC and Diggindeeper. Thanks for the Christly hug and Friendly words!

  6. #6
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    It's not about fast, honey. I've been known to spend months at a time chewing on one single Bible verse and figuring out how to live it out and obey it. It's no 100-yard dash, it's a marathon we're running here.

    I hope you can forgive your father for what he did to you and realize that he needs the Lord too, or he wouldn't have that hatred that drove him to abuse you so much to begin with.

    Regardless, welcome to the family and I'm glad the Lord met you in your hour of need. He's good that way.

  7. #7
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    You are quite right. The Lord is good that way I do forgive my father and others and I love him and pray for him every day. that Jeus goes into hes heart

  8. #8
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Rafyel, thank you for your testimony.

    You are already a blessing and an encouragement to others. That you are praying for your abuser at this early stage in your walk tells me God has huge plans for you.

    Much love to you.
    V

  9. #9
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Praise God, Rafyel!!! Welcome to the board, my friend. You have already blessed all of us, and I pray that we can be a blessing to you, as well. Praise His holy name!!!

  10. #10
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    You are both too kind. i am so happy that the Lord is praised for his lovingkindness, the Lord deserves so much forever and ever. He has touched me so deeply, i am still amazed at how the Lord moves within my heart, mind, body and soul! Healing, loving, teaching, and making me stronger. I thank him everyday, all day. Jesus heals has he has always done since his ministry started.

    may our Lord bless all of you my friends in Christ,

  11. #11

    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Quote Originally Posted by Rafyel View Post
    You are both too kind. i am so happy that the Lord is praised for his lovingkindness, the Lord deserves so much forever and ever. He has touched me so deeply, i am still amazed at how the Lord moves within my heart, mind, body and soul! Healing, loving, teaching, and making me stronger. I thank him everyday, all day. Jesus heals has he has always done since his ministry started.

    may our Lord bless all of you my friends in Christ,
    Amen He is the healer! Thank the Lord he saved you and us all! Trials are good that we may gain perserverence and discipline!

    Lord Jesus, we greatly treasure your wisdom, please grant us your wisdom each day, give us our daily living bread to feed on. Amen.

  12. #12
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Amen! and Amen! Bless you David!

  13. #13

    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    Ahhh, what an amazing and powerful testimony of your healing. Totally amazing. Thank you for sharing this.

  14. #14
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    You are saved by grace. God is working in your life, and the lives of those who have read your words.

    His grace is sufficient for you.
    You are most welcome here brother.

    In Christ,

    David.
    Jesus Christ....who do you say He is?


    Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1

  15. #15
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    Re: Coming out of the Darkness

    I am humbled by your conviction and endurance. I don't have much else to add which hasn't already been said.
    John 10 (KJV)
    27 My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me:
    28 And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
    29 My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father's hand.

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