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Thread: Dealing with people that ignore me

  1. #1

    Dealing with people that ignore me

    One thing that irritates me more than anything are people that ignore me. In some ways I would rather have someone get in my face, call me names, or such than ignore me. I am new at my church and many do not know me well, due to personality differences, or lack of exposure, and so I seem to get ignored by some. Its not easy showing love and continuing to be friendly to people that do this, but it does not mean I will not try.

    Once when I was in a career singles group in a seeker friendly church I had a totally different experience. People in that group did not ignore me. In fact just about everytime I spoke in the group on sundays, mentioned Biblical evangelism and such I offended people and they complained about me often.

    How do you deal with people that ignore you? Di you ignore them also? Or do you be friendly to them?

  2. #2
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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    I try to be friendly when I can.
    For what mortal has ever heard the voice of the living God speaking out of fire, as we have, and survived? ~ Deuteronomy 5:26

    If you're not prepared to risk your very life for your "enemy" you have no right to speak to him of love. ~ Daughter

    Many say they are called... but I am pretty convinced that with many of them it was the wrong number. ~ Project Peter

  3. #3
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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    It is better to love through the new nature in Christ than to conjure up a love that basically is against our own old natures. First be right with God and operate from a kingdom life, then you will experience a deep and abiding love for all. Of course there is a price to pay for that as well. Very few will be able to relate to you in this case as practically everyone walks in their old natures. But there are they who you will connect with on that deeper level. If one is to be persecuted, as it were, it is far better that this be in the Lord, rather than be for some quirk in a character driven by a fallen nature.

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    If people are ignoring you, then walk up to them, introduce yourself, and put yourself on their radar. Because I guarantee you, they're not ignoring you on purpose. You're just taking it as such. The only place we're as important as we think we are and where people think about us the way we think they do, is usually in our own heads.

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    I remember when I actually had to confront this in my own life and my husband's too. It seemed as we got older...and older, we were not 'included' as much as we used to be. So after praying much about it, and looking at it closely, this is what I found.

    We HAD BEEN included more, like to be invited out to eat after services and things like that, when our children were younger. The fact was, we just had more in COMMON with others who also had children. Over the years too, people had come and gone in our church.

    But you see, it wasn't that we were being 'ignored'. It was just simply that we did not have as much in common as many younger couples at our church.

    Now, since you are new at the church, don't you think it could just be they haven't had time to 'get to know you' yet. Hence...nothing in common. What I suggest is this. When you hear, either from announcements or other ways, that someone is ill and needs prayer...or someone is going to have surgery...or perhaps they have a relative who does not even go to that church...ANYTHING of that nature--then make it a SPECIAL focus to genuinely pray for that person and ALSO find out their phone number and call them, daily if necessary, and tell them PERSONALLY, "I just now prayed for you (or your son or other loved one) and I thought I'd call and let you know that." Or you may ask, "How is your mother doing since her surgery?" And then, before you hang up, let them know you are praying for their mom and tell them to tell her that you are praying for her.

    If someone there has a death in their family, show up when they receive friends.

    in other words, reach out and let them SEE Christ through you. See what I mean?

    People do take special note of those who genuinely care! So I'd suggest reaching out in any way you can.

    But not if you really don't care and just want to be recognized for your fine speaking or something like that. (Am I making any sense to anyone besides myself?)
    My favorite scripture: Malachi 3:16

    "Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name!" (Every time we speak of the Lord, or even THINK of him--its written down in a book of remembrance!)

  6. #6

    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Quote Originally Posted by Diggindeeper View Post
    I remember when I actually had to confront this in my own life and my husband's too. It seemed as we got older...and older, we were not 'included' as much as we used to be. So after praying much about it, and looking at it closely, this is what I found.

    We HAD BEEN included more, like to be invited out to eat after services and things like that, when our children were younger. The fact was, we just had more in COMMON with others who also had children. Over the years too, people had come and gone in our church.

    But you see, it wasn't that we were being 'ignored'. It was just simply that we did not have as much in common as many younger couples at our church.

    Now, since you are new at the church, don't you think it could just be they haven't had time to 'get to know you' yet. Hence...nothing in common. What I suggest is this. When you hear, either from announcements or other ways, that someone is ill and needs prayer...or someone is going to have surgery...or perhaps they have a relative who does not even go to that church...ANYTHING of that nature--then make it a SPECIAL focus to genuinely pray for that person and ALSO find out their phone number and call them, daily if necessary, and tell them PERSONALLY, "I just now prayed for you (or your son or other loved one) and I thought I'd call and let you know that." Or you may ask, "How is your mother doing since her surgery?" And then, before you hang up, let them know you are praying for their mom and tell them to tell her that you are praying for her.

    If someone there has a death in their family, show up when they receive friends.

    in other words, reach out and let them SEE Christ through you. See what I mean?

    People do take special note of those who genuinely care! So I'd suggest reaching out in any way you can.

    But not if you really don't care and just want to be recognized for your fine speaking or something like that. (Am I making any sense to anyone besides myself?)
    I have done this and tried to be helpful to those in the singles ministry when they have a need. I go to a large church, so the singles ministry is like our small group were I connect with my own kind. I do not know the college people, the high school people, the young couples, or the others, as we have little in common. I am single, and being single is a disadvantage in this area. Its harder to connect with people, and make friends. So I am in a church with my own kind.

    But perhaps you are right in that they have not had much time to get to know me. But then again I have tried to be friendly with people, but some ignore me. They may not be impolite with me, but they do not invite me to their house, or wish to spend time with me which is a major problem. Perhaps its because they do not know me, or perhaps its because they do not like me. I do not know.

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Be yourself and stay true to who God made you to be but above all, treat others the way you would want them to treat you.
    Amazzin

    Obedience to God is more than a soldier obeying his commander. It is our grateful response to the Lover of our souls.

    CHURCH: Where worship is enjoyed, not endured - Grace is preached, not legalism - And Christ is exalted, not religion!




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    Quote Originally Posted by evangelist6589 View Post
    I have done this and tried to be helpful to those in the singles ministry when they have a need. I go to a large church, so the singles ministry is like our small group were I connect with my own kind. I do not know the college people, the high school people, the young couples, or the others, as we have little in common. I am single, and being single is a disadvantage in this area. Its harder to connect with people, and make friends. So I am in a church with my own kind.

    But perhaps you are right in that they have not had much time to get to know me. But then again I have tried to be friendly with people, but some ignore me. They may not be impolite with me, but they do not invite me to their house, or wish to spend time with me which is a major problem. Perhaps its because they do not know me, or perhaps its because they do not like me. I do not know.
    Same thing happens to me as I am a single parent..divorced from an abusive husband. I have been raising my son alone for many years now...my ex is in prison..not exactly a normal thing in most churches I suppose. I have little in common with many in this area...but I don't see it as a major problem that people don't invite me out to eat or things like that. First I don't have the money to eat out much anyway...

    Why do you see that as a major problem?

    My church is very large too and small groups is encouraged for the fellowship we all need. I would rather not be in a singles group as most are much younger then I am. I am also an older mom so those with kids my son's age are usually much younger then I am. Most my age have young grand children. But oh well...Sarah was even older then me when she had her son and apparently did ok..lol.

    What gives us all something is common is Christ and that binds us together no matter what our earthly situation is.

    God bless
    "People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compromise and call it tolerance; We drift toward disobedience and call it freedom; We drift toward superstition and call it faith. We cherish the indiscipline of lost self-control and call it relaxation; we slouch toward prayerlessness and delude ourselves into thinking we have escaped legalism; we slide toward godlessness and convince ourselves we have been liberated?" - D A Carson

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Quote Originally Posted by evangelist6589 View Post
    Perhaps its because they do not know me, or perhaps its because they do not like me. I do not know.
    Well, then, rather than sit there and guess ... go on the offensive IMO. How can they like you if they don't have a chance to get to know you?

  10. #10

    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    I disagree. We all need fellowship. You may not want that, but thats you and not me!


    Quote Originally Posted by moonglow View Post
    Same thing happens to me as I am a single parent..divorced from an abusive husband. I have been raising my son alone for many years now...my ex is in prison..not exactly a normal thing in most churches I suppose. I have little in common with many in this area...but I don't see it as a major problem that people don't invite me out to eat or things like that. First I don't have the money to eat out much anyway...

    Why do you see that as a major problem?

    My church is very large too and small groups is encouraged for the fellowship we all need. I would rather not be in a singles group as most are much younger then I am. I am also an older mom so those with kids my son's age are usually much younger then I am. Most my age have young grand children. But oh well...Sarah was even older then me when she had her son and apparently did ok..lol.

    What gives us all something is common is Christ and that binds us together no matter what our earthly situation is.

    God bless

  11. #11

    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Quote Originally Posted by Dani H View Post
    Well, then, rather than sit there and guess ... go on the offensive IMO. How can they like you if they don't have a chance to get to know you?
    Well that takes time and exposure. No one can get to know me if I am church hopping all the time. I have only been there since January and its very difficult for people to get to know me well in such a short time.

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Nothing irritates me more than being ignored, either.

    This might help:

    [Whacks me on head with hat when I misbehave]


    "What then? ſhal we ſinne, becauſe we are not vnder the Law, but vnder grace? God forbid."


    Romaines vi.15 - 1560 Geneva Bible

  13. #13

    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    I am just starting a church myself. A faily good sized one, compared toh e small small one (country size church) I went to at home. But sometimes we have to make the initiative and introduce ourselves, talk to them instead of waiting for them to do it first. Some places people will make the first attempt, but sometimes we have to do it.

    I went to a pretty big church here a few times- auditorium sized sanctuary and lots and lots of people. Too big for me lol. But never saw the same person every sunday, always new people. So maybe its one of those things where they probably see new people all the time- people who normally go to the other services but that sunday go there, or someone who goes to that service but never have seen, they probably are so used to it it doesn't dawn on them that you may be new and to introduce. I never had anyone talk to me. One time, but that was it. Its not alwasy intentional that you get ignored or mean spirited. Its one of htose things with big churches. It would be very hard to be besties with every single person there, or friends even with all those people. So you will see new people, and many times depending on the size. So they probably arne't trying to hurt you or its not meant they don't like you. You may just have to go and talk to someone yourself. Introduce yourself and if you see them again at antoher service, say hi and ask how they are doing. You wil find someone. Sometimes it takes awhile for the friendships to start but you will find someone. Give it a chance. Keep trying. Join bible studies, volunteer to help at church events, dinners and the other stuff.

    Or follow Gilligan's idea, I like that one. That'll get their attention! lol And if you want someone to get in your face, folloing them around while sounding that thing will do it too.
    <a href=http://i77.photobucket.com/ albums/j70/Elsie_2006/hysterical.gif target=_blank>http://i77.photobucket.com/ albums/j...hysterical.gif</a>

  14. #14

    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Quote Originally Posted by evangelist6589 View Post
    Well that takes time and exposure. No one can get to know me if I am church hopping all the time. I have only been there since January and its very difficult for people to get to know me well in such a short time.
    Is this a church you plan on staying at for awhile? Church hopping all the time will make it hard to build relationships, becuase you aren't there long enough for a relationship to grow. they get to know a little part of you then your gone. So that will make it challenging to build friendships. Friendshps do take time sometimes.
    <a href=http://i77.photobucket.com/ albums/j70/Elsie_2006/hysterical.gif target=_blank>http://i77.photobucket.com/ albums/j...hysterical.gif</a>

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    Re: Dealing with people that ignore me

    Quote Originally Posted by watchman 2 View Post
    One thing that irritates me more than anything are people that ignore me. In some ways I would rather have someone get in my face, call me names, or such than ignore me. I am new at my church and many do not know me well, due to personality differences, or lack of exposure, and so I seem to get ignored by some. Its not easy showing love and continuing to be friendly to people that do this, but it does not mean I will not try.

    Once when I was in a career singles group in a seeker friendly church I had a totally different experience. People in that group did not ignore me. In fact just about everytime I spoke in the group on sundays, mentioned Biblical evangelism and such I offended people and they complained about me often.

    How do you deal with people that ignore you? Di you ignore them also? Or do you be friendly to them?
    I have never had that problem,at least I have never noticed it if I was ignored. I try to stir up conversation with people and move along if we don't click. However,sometimes I find that we click later because they were dealing with some issue when I barged up like a bull in a china shop.

    Blessings

    Gen 15:1 After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying,Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.




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