The only place a believer is called to suffer wilingly is because of the Gospel. Not because of a marriage.
A truly heavenly marriage takes two people wholly submitted to one God.
I think in that book you mentioned, the word "submission" is actually being used in the place of a more fitting word: Manipulation. If I just submit enough ... he will change. If I submit enough ... God will give me what I want.
Awesome. Now you're not only manipulating your spouse, but trying to manipulate God too. And, being willing to die for it! Can we say "deception?"
Whoever wrote this garbage has a deep-seated hatred for women and men both, and understands neither men, women, nor marriage, never mind our true heart condition before God. Toss that book in the trash bin where it belongs.
If you want to read a biblically balanced and truthful book on marriage, I highly recommend "Love and Respect" by Emerson Eggerichs. Spend your money on something that's written by someone who actually understands marriage.