I have been saved for almost four years now. Honestly I have never had a deep desire to read the Bible. But lately I have a burning desire to draw closer to God like never before. I desire to know what His will is for my life and I desire to read the Bible to see what treaures is hidden in there. I have realized that I have pretty much been at a standstill in my spiritual walk for a LONG time, not moving forward, but also not what I would call backslidding. I would consider myself to be lukewarm in many situations, and I know the Bible states that God will spit you out if you are lukewarm. I am ready to grow and move forward in my spiritual walk.
There have been times in my past where try to move forward and draw closer to God, but then I get overwhelmed and confused. I will begin reading the Bible and I understand something, but then I have 10 more questions from what I read. It's overwhelming and confusing. I know or believe this is a spiritual battle because the enemy doesn't want me to move forward in my spiritual walk. In the past I would eventually grow weary from the spiritual battle and don't try to press forward to grow closer to God. I don't want to do that this time. I can't do it. I have to press forward to become the person God wants me to be. But the question is how do I press forward when I get overwhelmed and confused from this spiritual battle?
Two changes that I have noticed over the past few weeks are that I am more aware and sensitive to sin and the way I view certain things in general. I have also felt convicted in certain things that I know I shouldn't be doing, whereas before it wouldn't bother me.
I used the word I a lot in this post. I know it's not about me, but about Him. But I also know that I have to focus on my own spiritual walk in order to become the person God wants me to be for Him to use me the way He wants.