Please Pray for my Sister (Regarding her Husband)

[Diggindeeper]

So is she supposed to be a "Good Wife" and put up with him disrespecting her, disobeying her when She tells him, she does not want him to go to a Bachelor Party (While Married) and lie to her about going somewhere else when he really was a a Bikini Contest (While Married)? and Going to bars with his Single friends (Who get drunk) when she will never go with him nor would she ever go with him?

She has put up with his BS for years. He didn't respect her in the past and he does not respect her now. None of us like him. (Her Father, My mom or me).

Please do not assume anything about my sister, I don't know if he promised to change during those years or not. She lives an hour away from us so we see her maybe once a month. We have never brought up marriage counseling before. She married him because she loves him.

I guess she though he would change after he got married. We will be visiting on Sunday and will bring up marriage counseling only if she brings it up first.

At the very least he is an alcoholic and she needs to decide if she wants to put up with his behavior or not. There is an innocent 3 month old in the mix too.

She needs to go to Marriage Counseling ASAP! He also does not go to church with them. I think she was blinded by "Love".

His #1 priority should be his wife and child, they are not.

Having been through much the same things when me and my husband were young, I know what she has to do, and I know without a doubt what you must do to help her. You see, the fact is, she is treating him much like she is his mom and not his wife. She must stop "putting her foot down" and trying to make him do what she says to do. The woman is not the head of the house. The husband is. Like it or not, that's what the Bible says.

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Also, she needs to stop complaining to everyone around her ABOUT HER HUSBAND. Surely there are some things she can find to 'brag' on him about. Surely. But a good, Godly wife is never one to go around to others, griping and complaining about how terrible he is. And about how he does not 'obey' her. She is not his Mama, and he is not a little boy, and he does not have to 'obey' her.

I do really believe that she married him because she LOVES him. We can't turn that off and on like a light switch. Ask her, "When you agreed to become his wife, what was there about him that made you love him and want to marry him?" Make her REMEMBER. And if, like you say, she knew him for so many years before they got married, she knew the things he did. She only fooled herself if she ever thought 'He'll quit drinking and running around when I marry him.'

Now. Here is some advise for you, Sweetie. I know you love your sister and want the best for her. So, if you REALLY do, then stop taking sides. Before you see her this Sunday, get down on your knees and earnestly pray to God to open her eyes and his, ask God to please save their marriage. Ask him to heal their marriage and grow them up. God really can do that. I promise. He did it for me and my husband. I just feel you have not really, really earnestly and fervently prayed for your sister's marriage and home. Have you? Be honest with your self. You need to do this every day until you see her.

Then....... when your sister starts all of her complaining about all the bad things he is doing...stop her, right then, and tell her, "Let's pray about this." And take her hand and PRAY for her. If Mom is there, or Dad, ask them to join hands too, while you pray. Out loud! Tell the good Lord, "Lord, my sister loved him or she never would have married him. So Dear Lord, heal their marriage, her home and her heart."

You see, the one thing both me and my husband had to learn was this:

Psalms 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Because let me tell you, if the Lord is not building the house, it's gonna fall down!

She needs to start over, with the Lord the unseen guest at every meal, in every room, in every conversation in that house. If this does not happen, your sister is going to be a single mom, with a little baby, and she's going to have to get a job and leave that baby EVERY day and go to work to make a living! Until she can get serious about the Lord, she is going to see nothing but heartache and a troubled soul! Neither this marriage nor another one or even a third marriage...NONE OF THEM...will ever work out right until she gets really serious about living her life for the Lord.

Once she stops trying to 'change' her husband (because obviously, she CAN'T!) then, the Lord can and will deal with him! But first, she needs to allow the Lord to deal with her, and then he will show HER what she is doing all wrong.

My testimony is in the Testimony forum, if you want to read it. My husband was like hers and my heart was broken, our home was torn apart and our marriage ruined. If the Lord can heal my broken heart, and my marriage and my husband...he can heal anyone's! I promise you that. If you want to read my testimony of what God did for us, its here:

http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...e-broken-heart....

Judy

[iluvmua]

Having been through much the same things when me and my husband were young, I know what she has to do, and I know without a doubt what you must do to help her. You see, the fact is, she is treating him much like she is his mom and not his wife. She must stop "putting her foot down" and trying to make him do what she says to do. The woman is not the head of the house. The husband is. Like it or not, that's what the Bible says.

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Also, she needs to stop complaining to everyone around her ABOUT HER HUSBAND. Surely there are some things she can find to 'brag' on him about. Surely. But a good, Godly wife is never one to go around to others, griping and complaining about how terrible he is. And about how he does not 'obey' her. She is not his Mama, and he is not a little boy, and he does not have to 'obey' her.

I do really believe that she married him because she LOVES him. We can't turn that off and on like a light switch. Ask her, "When you agreed to become his wife, what was there about him that made you love him and want to marry him?" Make her REMEMBER. And if, like you say, she knew him for so many years before they got married, she knew the things he did. She only fooled herself if she ever thought 'He'll quit drinking and running around when I marry him.'

Now. Here is some advise for you, Sweetie. I know you love your sister and want the best for her. So, if you REALLY do, then stop taking sides. Before you see her this Sunday, get down on your knees and earnestly pray to God to open her eyes and his, ask God to please save their marriage. Ask him to heal their marriage and grow them up. God really can do that. I promise. He did it for me and my husband. I just feel you have not really, really earnestly and fervently prayed for your sister's marriage and home. Have you? Be honest with your self. You need to do this every day until you see her.

Then....... when your sister starts all of her complaining about all the bad things he is doing...stop her, right then, and tell her, "Let's pray about this." And take her hand and PRAY for her. If Mom is there, or Dad, ask them to join hands too, while you pray. Out loud! Tell the good Lord, "Lord, my sister loved him or she never would have married him. So Dear Lord, heal their marriage, her home and her heart."

You see, the one thing both me and my husband had to learn was this:

Psalms 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Because let me tell you, if the Lord is not building the house, it's gonna fall down!

She needs to start over, with the Lord the unseen guest at every meal, in every room, in every conversation in that house. If this does not happen, your sister is going to be a single mom, with a little baby, and she's going to have to get a job and leave that baby EVERY day and go to work to make a living! Until she can get serious about the Lord, she is going to see nothing but heartache and a troubled soul! Neither this marriage nor another one or even a third marriage...NONE OF THEM...will ever work out right until she gets really serious about living her life for the Lord.

Once she stops trying to 'change' her husband (because obviously, she CAN'T!) then, the Lord can and will deal with him! But first, she needs to allow the Lord to deal with her, and then he will show HER what she is doing all wrong.

My testimony is in the Testimony forum, if you want to read it. My husband was like hers and my heart was broken, our home was torn apart and our marriage ruined. If the Lord can heal my broken heart, and my marriage and my husband...he can heal anyone's! I promise you that. If you want to read my testimony of what God did for us, its here:

http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...e-broken-heart....

Judy

I def. think He needs to show her respect as his wife, I think it's pretty darn disrespectful of him to have NO regards about her feelings. I don't know what she knew or didn't know. But she needs to go to Marriage Counseling ASAP!.

She needs to let him know that she means business...... she has not done that yet.

I also know she does not deserve to be treated the way she is.

Married Man + No Wedding Ring + staying out at bars/getting drunk late into the night = Serious Trouble

He told me he's been to every bar where they live & He drinks at home.

They were supposed to go a relative's wedding last weekend, Ronald went out and bought Rayden an outfit to wear to the wedding, the next day he suddenly changes his mind and says that Lisa and baby can go without him, Lisa calls and tells us that they will not be going because they have no money for gas, Her Father offers them $40.00 for Gas money, Lisa still says they will not be going.

turns out, Ronald was out at a bar really late the night before.

We suspect there is much more going on then him just going out to bars and drinking.

He also told us he would be getting a new job, so that he can "supposedly" stay at home with his family on the weekends.

[iluvmua]

This whole thing is just sad.. and disappointing. Seeing what marriage has come to. The beautiful covenant that God has allowed us to share with one another, we misuse it in so many ways and allow our selfishness our immaturity and our selfish ambition and pride get in the way.

Marriage is supposed to be a reflection of Christ, and His Church. Why have we taken this beautiful description of marriage and thrown it out the window? What makes us think that we can take what God created and fit it to our own wants and needs? I am not married... I am 21 years old.. and by reading this story, and seeing the way that people treat marriage today, it really upsets me that "Christians" have become so much apart of this world. I completely see why your sister would be upset, and would want R home with her and the baby... so, other than talking bad about him to you guys, what is she doing about it? I don't think the Lord would have shown her that is the right way to go about things.. because it isn't. Why not try and serve her husband through serving Christ? And as for "R", I think he just needs to see how much this is hurting your sister.. without any yelling or arguing, but her humbly asking him to be her husband.. not a friend, not a enemy.. but her husband. Her partner. The head of their marriage.

Love is so much more than words... it's action.


Ephesians 5:33

New International Version (NIV)

33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

So far she has done nothing......

he does, he just does not care because it's all about Ronald and what he wants to do and he does not care what she thinks. .

Just 2 weeks ago, she calls and says that around 10:30 at night she heard their dogs barking frantically at the front door, She was in their bedroom with the baby. (Bedroom is right next to the front door). She heard someone talking to their dogs through the front door, she asked Ronald if he heard anything, (He was at the opposite end of the house), he said "No" and then told her she was "Overreacting". she did call the Police about the incident, but I don't think they ever found who was at their front door.

she also told us that she has had to remind him to quit cussing around their newborn son, He told her "I can say whatever I want". He clearly has no respect or concern for my sister or their child.

While I was there last time, she told me that she does not want Rayden to be watching too much tv when he gets older, I replied, He can get him an Eisel (sp) and he can become a little Artist, Ronald heard this and said "Rayden is not going to be doing any of that F***** (Homosexual slur) S***".

My Sister and I had an uncle (Her Father's Brother) who was Gay that we very dearly loved, (He is now dead). Ronald knew that we had a Gay Uncle. I found what he said very offensive, I just looked at him and then turned back to the T.V.

[iluvmua]

Having been through much the same things when me and my husband were young, I know what she has to do, and I know without a doubt what you must do to help her. You see, the fact is, she is treating him much like she is his mom and not his wife. She must stop "putting her foot down" and trying to make him do what she says to do. The woman is not the head of the house. The husband is. Like it or not, that's what the Bible says.

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Also, she needs to stop complaining to everyone around her ABOUT HER HUSBAND. Surely there are some things she can find to 'brag' on him about. Surely. But a good, Godly wife is never one to go around to others, griping and complaining about how terrible he is. And about how he does not 'obey' her. She is not his Mama, and he is not a little boy, and he does not have to 'obey' her.

I do really believe that she married him because she LOVES him. We can't turn that off and on like a light switch. Ask her, "When you agreed to become his wife, what was there about him that made you love him and want to marry him?" Make her REMEMBER. And if, like you say, she knew him for so many years before they got married, she knew the things he did. She only fooled herself if she ever thought 'He'll quit drinking and running around when I marry him.'

Now. Here is some advise for you, Sweetie. I know you love your sister and want the best for her. So, if you REALLY do, then stop taking sides. Before you see her this Sunday, get down on your knees and earnestly pray to God to open her eyes and his, ask God to please save their marriage. Ask him to heal their marriage and grow them up. God really can do that. I promise. He did it for me and my husband. I just feel you have not really, really earnestly and fervently prayed for your sister's marriage and home. Have you? Be honest with your self. You need to do this every day until you see her.

Then....... when your sister starts all of her complaining about all the bad things he is doing...stop her, right then, and tell her, "Let's pray about this." And take her hand and PRAY for her. If Mom is there, or Dad, ask them to join hands too, while you pray. Out loud! Tell the good Lord, "Lord, my sister loved him or she never would have married him. So Dear Lord, heal their marriage, her home and her heart."

You see, the one thing both me and my husband had to learn was this:

Psalms 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Because let me tell you, if the Lord is not building the house, it's gonna fall down!

She needs to start over, with the Lord the unseen guest at every meal, in every room, in every conversation in that house. If this does not happen, your sister is going to be a single mom, with a little baby, and she's going to have to get a job and leave that baby EVERY day and go to work to make a living! Until she can get serious about the Lord, she is going to see nothing but heartache and a troubled soul! Neither this marriage nor another one or even a third marriage...NONE OF THEM...will ever work out right until she gets really serious about living her life for the Lord.

Once she stops trying to 'change' her husband (because obviously, she CAN'T!) then, the Lord can and will deal with him! But first, she needs to allow the Lord to deal with her, and then he will show HER what she is doing all wrong.

My testimony is in the Testimony forum, if you want to read it. My husband was like hers and my heart was broken, our home was torn apart and our marriage ruined. If the Lord can heal my broken heart, and my marriage and my husband...he can heal anyone's! I promise you that. If you want to read my testimony of what God did for us, its here:

http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...e-broken-heart....

Judy

I just read your testimony....... I think I will print it out and give it to my sister for safe keeping, maybe it will be a reminder to her if she ever feels like she is alone etc.

In Other News, God is going Amazing things in my Cousin's Life, She told my Mom she never wants to go back to Jail and she wants to go back to college and be a Drug Counselor.

This whole thing with my sister has been stressing me out and making me frustrated because I'm angry about the way Ronald treats my sister and I want to say something to him but I know it's best to not cause anymore problems between Ronald and Lisa, The Verse " Be still and know that i am God" has been going through my head. He knows what is truly going on and he's still in control. I can only speculate...... But God knows what Ronald is really doing and where he is going when my sister is not with him.

And if he is cheating, I think it's best that she find out sooner than later. I'm sure she has told him he needs to stay home with her and their 3 month old son.

[iluvmua]

Having been through much the same things when me and my husband were young, I know what she has to do, and I know without a doubt what you must do to help her. You see, the fact is, she is treating him much like she is his mom and not his wife. She must stop "putting her foot down" and trying to make him do what she says to do. The woman is not the head of the house. The husband is. Like it or not, that's what the Bible says.

Ephesians 5:23
For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

Also, she needs to stop complaining to everyone around her ABOUT HER HUSBAND. Surely there are some things she can find to 'brag' on him about. Surely. But a good, Godly wife is never one to go around to others, griping and complaining about how terrible he is. And about how he does not 'obey' her. She is not his Mama, and he is not a little boy, and he does not have to 'obey' her.

I do really believe that she married him because she LOVES him. We can't turn that off and on like a light switch. Ask her, "When you agreed to become his wife, what was there about him that made you love him and want to marry him?" Make her REMEMBER. And if, like you say, she knew him for so many years before they got married, she knew the things he did. She only fooled herself if she ever thought 'He'll quit drinking and running around when I marry him.'

Now. Here is some advise for you, Sweetie. I know you love your sister and want the best for her. So, if you REALLY do, then stop taking sides. Before you see her this Sunday, get down on your knees and earnestly pray to God to open her eyes and his, ask God to please save their marriage. Ask him to heal their marriage and grow them up. God really can do that. I promise. He did it for me and my husband. I just feel you have not really, really earnestly and fervently prayed for your sister's marriage and home. Have you? Be honest with your self. You need to do this every day until you see her.

Then....... when your sister starts all of her complaining about all the bad things he is doing...stop her, right then, and tell her, "Let's pray about this." And take her hand and PRAY for her. If Mom is there, or Dad, ask them to join hands too, while you pray. Out loud! Tell the good Lord, "Lord, my sister loved him or she never would have married him. So Dear Lord, heal their marriage, her home and her heart."

You see, the one thing both me and my husband had to learn was this:

Psalms 127:1
Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it...

Because let me tell you, if the Lord is not building the house, it's gonna fall down!

She needs to start over, with the Lord the unseen guest at every meal, in every room, in every conversation in that house. If this does not happen, your sister is going to be a single mom, with a little baby, and she's going to have to get a job and leave that baby EVERY day and go to work to make a living! Until she can get serious about the Lord, she is going to see nothing but heartache and a troubled soul! Neither this marriage nor another one or even a third marriage...NONE OF THEM...will ever work out right until she gets really serious about living her life for the Lord.

Once she stops trying to 'change' her husband (because obviously, she CAN'T!) then, the Lord can and will deal with him! But first, she needs to allow the Lord to deal with her, and then he will show HER what she is doing all wrong.

My testimony is in the Testimony forum, if you want to read it. My husband was like hers and my heart was broken, our home was torn apart and our marriage ruined. If the Lord can heal my broken heart, and my marriage and my husband...he can heal anyone's! I promise you that. If you want to read my testimony of what God did for us, its here:

http://bibleforums.org/showthread.ph...e-broken-heart....

Judy

1. I don't think even think her friends know what is going on.
2. No, he does not, but he needs to respect her and when she says she does not want him going out to bars on weekends when he should want to stay at home with his family, I think He should honor that. He does not.

She should not have to stay at home ( and by stay at home, I mean she take care of their child while he is out at bars) with a three month old while he goes bar hopping every weekend and comes home at 2:00 A.M. in the morning.

But God gave him freewill to do what he pleases so.......

My sister wanted to post on her Facebook page that she was pregnant and I guess she told him and he told her It was a "Stupid" Idea to post on her Facebook that she's pregnant. He does not have one.

also, while she was pregnant, his dog who is a big black lab got out of the house and ran out of the garage and she was the one who ran after him while Ronald stayed behind, Buster just ran right passed Ronald and he did nothing.

He also got upset with her (while she was pregnant, she was probably sleeping) because his mother called and she did not call her right back.

He also told us that he would be getting a raise with his new job, turns out he is making less money now than he was at his previous job.

I should have said in my very first post he went to an Overnight Bachelor Party (shortly after they got married).

And the only reason my sister found out about the Bikini contest is because my brother was at the same event. (This was shortly after he went to the Bachelor Party). Well, When he got home, they had a nice, long conversation about him and the Bikini Contest).

So from pretty much after they got married he has shown her no respect or concern for her or their marriage. He just does what he darn well pleases even though he knows what he does greatly upsets her.

If he wants to be Single and get drunk with his friends/brother and go bar hopping with them and God only knows what else. that's fine, But my sister and my three month old Nephew should not have to be the ones who suffer the most. (and clearly they are).

[lovex]

All of these stories... they do not matter. What matters, is Christ. Their relationship needs to get centered upon their Savior. And whether or not he believes, if your sister says she is a Christian, she needs to turn to Jesus in this time. I seriously don't mean to sound harsh.. but you sound so defensive when we start to say things about how your sister may need to change her ways too. In all stories... there is always two sides. One side sounds so believable until you hear the other.. so, since your sister or her husband is not the one telling the story, we are left to this conclusion (which is what we should always do)... turn to Jesus. Give this situation to Jesus who wants to carry our burdens and take away this worry that your experiencing and your sisters.

[Diggindeeper]

Sweetie, I really, really do understand! Since I have gone through this stuff, I know how much it hurts. There is no worse hurt in the world than to be 'let down' by the man you love. We just don't seem to realize when we are younger, but oh my, if only we could understand that a man is NOT going to change just because we marry him!

Our love can't change him. No matter what we do, they are gonna do what they want to do...UNTIL THE LORD REACHES HIM! I'm telling you from experience --ONLY the Lord Jesus Christ can change a man and then (and only then!) will he grow up. But, for the Lord to reach him, your sister has got to get VERY serious about her relationship with the Lord.

Please, please tell her that I have put her and her little baby, and her marriage, on my daily Prayer list. I pray over those names each and every day. And I promise you, Sweetie. I WILL pray for your sister, that God gives her wisdom and shows her as clearly as he showed me what he wants her to do.

But...please help me pray for her and that husband of hers. He honestly sounds just like my husband was. But, oh my goodness...once the Lord got through to him and changed him, it was really like he was a different man. The Lord CAN change her husband if he can change mine!! He really can! (The Lord can make such a difference that your whole family will be AMAZED!)

But, your sister is going to HAVE to take the first step in getting her life exactly like God wants. This is serious business. I'm sure she does not want to live this way for the rest of her life. ( I didn't, and I reached the point where I could not live that way one more day. It's really a horrible life and I know she is hurting.)

Remember, I promise to pray EVERY DAY!

Judy

[iluvmua]

Sweetie, I really, really do understand! Since I have gone through this stuff, I know how much it hurts. There is no worse hurt in the world than to be 'let down' by the man you love. We just don't seem to realize when we are younger, but oh my, if only we could understand that a man is NOT going to change just because we marry him!

Our love can't change him. No matter what we do, they are gonna do what they want to do...UNTIL THE LORD REACHES HIM! I'm telling you from experience --ONLY the Lord Jesus Christ can change a man and then (and only then!) will he grow up. But, for the Lord to reach him, your sister has got to get VERY serious about her relationship with the Lord.

Please, please tell her that I have put her and her little baby, and her marriage, on my daily Prayer list. I pray over those names each and every day. And I promise you, Sweetie. I WILL pray for your sister, that God gives her wisdom and shows her as clearly as he showed me what he wants her to do.

But...please help me pray for her and that husband of hers. He honestly sounds just like my husband was. But, oh my goodness...once the Lord got through to him and changed him, it was really like he was a different man. The Lord CAN change her husband if he can change mine!! He really can! (The Lord can make such a difference that your whole family will be AMAZED!)

But, your sister is going to HAVE to take the first step in getting her life exactly like God wants. This is serious business. I'm sure she does not want to live this way for the rest of her life. ( I didn't, and I reached the point where I could not live that way one more day. It's really a horrible life and I know she is hurting.)

Remember, I promise to pray EVERY DAY!


Judy

Thank You Very Very much! Can I ask a favor of you? Will you please pray for my future husband? My name is Jessica.

[Diggindeeper]

Jessica...I will be honored to help you pray about that! I'll tell you a secret.

I have grandchildren and I have already started to pray for them, that when they are grown, that God would send them a good Christian person to share their life! You know, we won't always have mom and dad around, and I know people who either never married or their husband of many years has passed away. And Jessica, they are so lonely.

I'm telling you, this is really serious business! I only wish EVERYBODY could take the marriage issue seriously. It would save
them a bunch of hurt and heartache!!

I will put your name beside your sister's name and start praying every day for you too, Jessica! I promise.

Judy

[Seeker of truth]

Jessica, I will be in prayer for you, your future husband, your sister and her husband

Your sisters husband sounds very controlling. I am married to a controlling man so I understand. I am taking many steps to improve my relationship with my husband. Sometimes it still seems almost hopeless but then I remember all things are possible in Him. I have given it to God. I can't fix my husband but He can. I can only fix myself. The more I discovered my husband needed "fixed" the more I became aware that I too needed work. The more God works in me the more understanding and tolorance I have toward my husband.

Judy has given you some excellent advice and many wise words. We are here for you

[iluvmua]

Thank You All! I'm not even going to say what Lisa says Rayden's first words are going to be....

Next time Ronald says it I'm going to answer "Please have some respect for your Wife & Child".

[iluvmua]

There were a couple of signs at the beginning of their relationship (before they got married) about Ronald.

He would find out that Lisa was dating someone else, know she was happy and knew the right words to say so she would break up with whoever she was dating and come back to him.

another time, Lisa and a group of friends went to Six Flags and she ended up kissing a guy, Ronald found out and accused Lisa of cheating on him when they were not even dating.

For some reason they ended up moving in together and Lisa's apartment did not have a washer and a dryer so Ronald would tell her that he was going over to his Mother's house to do his laundry. Well, every time he did that, he would not return home until the next day.

So the first thing she bought when they moved into the 2nd apartment was a washer and dryer so he would not leave.

She asked my mother for advice about this and by the time my mother was going to send her an e-mail about what she should do, she already was back with Ronald.

I have no idea why any of this did not raise Red Flags........

I have also seen him be mean to their/her cats when I've visited....... According to my Sister he is always mean to their/her cats and it drives her crazy. He will scare the cats and pick them up and hold them in a way they will get stressed and want to get down.

[iluvmua]

I didn't get the chance to bring up Marriage Counseling. My Sister went outside in the back and Ronald went out too. When my Sister came back in she said "I'm sick of it, I'm Sick of it, I'm Sick of it, I'm tired of it". So I don't know what she meant by that.

I guess she has decided to put up with his behavior. But surely she had to know of his drinking and smoking (She also wants him to quite that too). I don't know if he promised her anything or what.

But what I'm concerned about more is if she knew where he was spiritually. I have no idea if he is a Christian, but just going by what i've heard and what she has told us, I'm going to go with probably not.

I know how dangerous it is for a Christian to be involved with a Non Christian...... I was in a relationship with one for 18 days. (Fortunately, The Lord got me out of it).

[Warrior4God]

I feel I have to interject here. I think too many people are being hard on iluvmua's sister, acting like she's the majority of the problem in the marriage, as opposed to the jerk husband she has. I don't think she's being unreasonable in wanting her husband to stop drinking at bars and ogling half naked women in bikini contests. To see that some "Christians" are criticizing her for having problems with her husband's behavior honestly makes me question how Christian these "Christians" truly are. The wife also has reason to suspect that her husband is / has been sexually unfaithful to her. Is she supposed to be ok with that, too? I get the whole "Let God be in the marriage" advice, but I just had to say that some people posting here are a little clueless or even insensitive to the wife.

[Shesh]

You feel like you need to fix this because you see that it is doing harm to your sister and that this is not the best situation for her. That is great love. I would challenge you instead, not just you but your sister too, to redirect your efforts from the goal of changing her husband, and instead, encourage her (and you too) to focus instead on Christ. Consider the story of Peter walking on water. As long as his eyes were on Christ, he walked on the water i.e, above the storm and turbulence. Your sister's situation is turbulent but focusing on it is not doing any good. By focusing on Christ, she will grow in Him, He will be able to change her attitude, her mind, the very essence of who she is. The Bible says instructs us to Be transformed by the renewal of our minds. The way to do this is to fill ourselves with the Word of God everyday. I believe that spending time in the Word and with God on a daily basis by herself, will also enable her to realize that she is not a victim in her own life but a victor and more than a conqueror in Christ Jesus.
When Jesus spoke on the issue of divorce, He was not providing us with a loophole, a way out so to speak. Rather, He was showing us what serious consequences sexual sin can have. I recommend the book 'Battlefield of the Mind' by Joyce Meyer. I believe that it shall be of great help to you both.