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Thread: Could God want divorce?

  1. #1

    Could God want divorce?

    I know the bible says God Hates divorce, I know that He does. BUT is it possible God will allow for a marriage to end because He knows the spouse will never truly serve him? Could God see the chance to bless someone with a divorce because of how bad the other person is for the christian spouse?

    I've been praying for my marriage to be fixed but it keeps getting worse. My husband went from bad to worse to terrible, to a christian even said he felt called to preach. But now he is not going to church among other things. This christian phase only lasted 3 months.

    Is it possible for God to allow a marriage to get bad so the nonchristian side to file for divorce against the christian spouse's will?

    I know God has the power to do anything, but we must be open to Him, I don't have faith my husband can be hanged because he is not open to God.

    I don't know anymore I'm losing my sanity

  2. #2
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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    It's not a matter of "God wanting" or "God not wanting".

    We so often use "God's will" as an excuse because we're afraid to make our own decisions and deal with their consequences. God doesn't want any of us to sin, ever; that's not exactly stopping us, is it?

    God gives us guidelines and freedom within those guidelines, and people have a will, too, and the ability to make decisions.

    God hates divorce. But He also hates adultery, abuse, two people setting ungodly examples for their children, etc.

    Divorce is a matter that should always be taken under very careful and prayerful consideration because it is so serious and has such wide-reaching consequences. But in the end, it's between two adults that are both accountable to God for their decisions.

    Here is an article that may help shed further light on the subject for you.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    I believe that God never really "wants" a divorce. However, He has made it clear in His Word that He will allow for it under very particular conditions.

  4. #4

    Re: Could God want divorce?

    I'm def not looking to use God as an excuse to leave, nor will I self sabatoge my marriage, I am praying and fasting but it just seems as if God has decided not to answer my pleas or my husband just won't let himself be changed. I beg for him to change me but somethings can't be ignored. Somethings shouldn't be allowed to happen.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    Well if there is abuse, or sexual immorality, then biblically you have the right to leave him. I would even say that God wouldn't want someone to stay with a spouse who is on drugs or an alchoholic or gambling away all that they own. However, that's just my opinion.
    Don't seek too much knowledge. You just may be putting more weight on your shoulders than you're able to bare. Let God be the one to decide how quickly you grow.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    Quote Originally Posted by confused View Post
    I'm def not looking to use God as an excuse to leave, nor will I self sabatoge my marriage, I am praying and fasting but it just seems as if God has decided not to answer my pleas or my husband just won't let himself be changed. I beg for him to change me but somethings can't be ignored. Somethings shouldn't be allowed to happen.
    I say that you should pray this very blunt prayer to God... "God, if it's Your will that my husband and I stay together, do whatever You have to in order to prevent a divorce because that's where I'm heading in my marriage at this point." If God knows this marriage is fixable, He'll bring about the circumstances in the right way and time to do this. Otherwise, if the marriage instead ends, then perhaps God is releasing you from it and allowing you to move on in your life.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    First of all would you not qualify under the unevenly yoked? If he is a nonbeliever (or nonfallower) and he chooses to leave you would be cleared correct?

    Secondly I am going threw very similar situation. My wife never been believer but she distracts me from fallowing. She will not stop me from going to church (as long as it does not inconvenience her) but if I go to talk about it she will get very short tempered even when I am not talking to her.

    Now I found she spent kids’ college money with out my knowledge, and my Exgirlfriend who I have child with has shown back up. So I trying to spend time with child but causes problems with wife, her solution is trace all my calls texts and tell my other kids daddy will soon leave us and never come home to be with new family. I try counseling and she will not go so I wound up at marriage councilor by my self.

    Mean while my ex keeps telling me to pray and G_D will solve it all. That G_D will not close a door with out opening another. To which I said there does not appear to be any door open I look and can not find it. She points out that G_D has only left one door open the correct one and that is why it is hard to find that I so lost he closed all doors which did not lead to the correct path have faith. She has made it very clear she wants me back. However I know this is all wrong but it does seem as if G_D sent her to lead me to him even though it destroying marriage. (Well marriage already had problems but this seems to be the final nail)

    I know this can not be what G_D has in mind so all I can do is pray. No answers though no matter how I try.

    I do know how you feel.
    I am here to hear and serve the lord

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    First of all, I would be very careful who I let speak into my marriage situation. People do all too often have self-interest, and that's what they give "advice" from. Not good! If you're going to seek advice, find somebody neutral who has absolutely nothing to gain nor lose from whatever decisions are made. Seek objective counsel from a godly person who is unattached to your situation.

    Also, God has His own mind, and it is that mind which we are to seek. If God hasn't said nothing ... then stay put and continue to seek Him until He makes things very, very clear.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dani H View Post
    First of all, I would be very careful who I let speak into my marriage situation. People do all too often have self-interest, and that's what they give "advice" from. Not good! If you're going to seek advice, find somebody neutral who has absolutely nothing to gain nor lose from whatever decisions are made. Seek objective counsel from a godly person who is unattached to your situation.
    I agree with this wholeheartedly.


    Quote Originally Posted by Dani H View Post
    Also, God has His own mind, and it is that mind which we are to seek. If God hasn't said nothing ... then stay put and continue to seek Him until He makes things very, very clear.
    Sometimes, depending on what has been prayed, the silence from God contains the answer. "God, if you want me to stay with my spouse despite their constant adultery, give me a sign or a word." Deafening silence. Perhaps He's finally released you from the adulterer.
    Last edited by Warrior4God; Jun 2nd 2011 at 08:11 PM. Reason: edited strong wording

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    Ha! Ha! I liked my other term better in my last post, Dani, but we'll, ahem, go with "adulterer."

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    The cross is sometimes very hard to bear. To die to our self is a dreadful experience. It requires the sacrifice of all we are and all we hope to achieve. It is a dream crusher and puts to death the very essence of who we are in ourselves. I have found when it is placed upon me I try to seek advice. I go from place to place looking for answers,looking for deliverance and looking for hope. I have found many that council me right out of the will of God. They sympathize with my affliction and do their best to comfort me. However,I have also found that such advice often allows me to maintain my own life. My flesh gravitates to that which will sustain it. Seeing Jesus in very situation,even in the midst of the deepest rejection and pain,is the only real answer. To die to self and see Jesus is to experience life. Not the "life' that gives a shallow satisfaction when it desires are meet but a life that sustains me on the deepest level. I am not saying yea or nay to your question. I am only saying that dying to self is the only way we can experience HIS life.Put your opinions and goals concerning the relationship to death. Let his life and the comfort that comes with it radiate from you. It will have one or two effects on those around you. It will push them away or draw them closer. Your husband has at least made some profession of faith. This meant that at one time he must have saw something. Perhaps his discouragement,anger and debauchery are a result of frustration. Maybe he is looking for reality. Maybe he needs to see a living epistle to know that Jesus is real. You can be such a one. If you will die to self.

    Blessings

    and Popcorn


    Gen 15:1 After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying,Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.

  12. #12

    Re: Could God want divorce?

    sheperdsword, I wissh I could be that example for him but hhis standards are impossible to reach in everyone. As a mother, wife, christian I am always a failure and I'm always being showed that, and told what I shoulda/coulda done.

    I am praying but I haven't heard an answer, and since there are no doors showing me a way to leave without danger and many issues, I will assume that means I am to stay put for now.

    please pray for my family!

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    I will pray but if you are in some sort of physical danger then it is best to seek shelter somewhere. We are to die to ourselves inwardly. Not embark on a suicide mission.

    Bless you in Jesus name and may he direct your steps

    Blessings

    and Popcorn


    Gen 15:1 After these things the word of the LORD came unto Abram in a vision, saying,Fear not, Abram: I am thy shield, and thy exceeding great reward.

  14. #14

    Re: Could God want divorce?

    I read your post and well I am in a situation too where i wonder if maybe God is trying to tell me it's ok to get out. I feel if I stay that I may end up backslidding in my walk with Jesus. My husband was on fire for the Lord and was encouraging me and all of a sudden he just doesn't want to accomany me to church bible studies or prayer meetings and feels no need to witness to others. I feel that if I stay in this environment it will cause me to start thinking like my husband. It is hard to stay grounded when I have no one in the house to encourage me and to be a partner with me. My life is Jesus and I pray that He would turn my husband around back to when he was so faithful. But then I also have doiubts that if he does come back around it will be a matter of time that this will happen again. I would love to have a husband that is the spiritual leader and would love to live his life fully for God. I don't want to end up like him and start going backwards in my walk. I see other marriages and see how the husband and wife have a wonderful walk together with the Lord and I feel like I am sinning for wanting what I don't have. It's depressing going to church functions and people asking where my husband is and I have to make up an excuse so no one knows that he just doesn't want to come. I feel like all I can do is pray and keep trying to be an example for my husband, but it is getting old and fast.

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    Re: Could God want divorce?

    Hi banshee,

    it's not uncommon for people's relationship with the Lord to take on a bit of a rollercoaster course. That's definitely no reason for quitting on a marriage. How would you feel if your relationship with God was hitting a rough spot and your spouse left you in the dust for that?

    I'm not married for people in my church. I'm married for me and my husband and my God and my children. My hubby may not be in church every time the doors open but he's a wonderful husband and father who works his tail end off to provide for us, and he is also my best friend and God bless him, he puts up with me on a daily basis and I'm not exactly the bee's knees to live with all the time.

    You're certainly not sinning by wanting your husband by your side in church, but that doesn't make or break a marriage. There's other ways to seek God and one of them is to be there with him and be supportive of him when your faith is up and his is down, and then should the tables turn, hope that he would be there for you also in that way. God is carrying you both. Jesus is the spiritual leader of your home. Your husband is your head and your covering and your protector and provider, so that is how you treat him, according to the role that God has placed him in and given him grace to fill. How well he fills that role is for God to judge. You make sure you fill yours, as his helper and confidante and friend and partner and support system.

    Get together with sisters in the Lord and seek God together and let that be your support system. Let Jesus hold you in His love with each new day as it comes, and receive His grace for that day.

    Also, the "normal Christian couple" is a myth. Your marriage is whatever you make of it and as long as God is being honored by you both being faithful to one another and filling your roles and honoring your vows, yank whatever image you have of this mythical "Christian couple" off the pedestal and get to being a wife in reality and truth to your husband that you have now and that you've promised to stand by through thick and thin as long as you both shall live. Stop comparing your marriage to that of other people; that's poison because it breeds envy and discontentment and creates a false sense of reality because you don't know what those other couples are really doing and dealing with when nobody is watching and the doors are closed and what their situations really are like and how much grace they really need for their living situation. Be content with where God has you and stop turning marriage and Christianity into a competition where there isn't any.

    There's couples who pray together regularly and others who do not. There's couples and families who study Scripture together and others who do not. Marriages are good and successful for a number of reasons, most of those reasons having to do with people knowing how to forgive and honor their vows and being willing to stick with one another and adjust to new seasons in their lives which change all the time.

    Be encouraged, hmm? This too shall pass.

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