And immediately the rooster crowed a second time. And Peter remembered how Jesus had said to him, “Before the rooster crows twice, you will deny me three times.” And he broke down and wept.
How often do you find yourself to broken over sin? What do you feel inside when you break sin? Do you break down and weep, or do you say Lord I'm sorry.. but not truly bothered by it. I know that so many times, I allow pride and arrogance to hold me back from true repentance. I say "I've just done this a few times... I won't do it again" but then I find myself back in the same position. When I read this about Peter denying Jesus three times, and how he broke down and wept the second after he disobeyed the Lord.. it makes me think about how he found restoration and more strength in being a disciple of Jesus Christ.
This place of repentance brings us to humility in front of our Lord. Why would we not want to be there? Why would we (I'm talking about myself here too) want to act as if we are above reproach and hide beneath our masks and say everything is good... when it is not. Why are we not on our knees broken and weeping over our sin to our Lord so we become closer to Him and more personal and passionate about following him.
I pray and hope that we would not let pride and shame hold us back from true Godly repentance to our Lord. Worldly sorrow does not last. It may seem like it changes us for a day... or a week... who knows maybe a month. But until we are fully broken and mourning over what Jesus died for us the Cross, could we ever fully understand it and be changed.
Allow your hearts to be not ashamed to come to our Father with broken hearts. Let Him put us back together the way He wants too.
I love you all.. and I hope this encouraged you in some way. This was all brought onto my heart because I am just plain old sick of sin. I know that I daily commit it... and I wish I could change that. I know I have victory over it because of Jesus Christ but still, I fail. I want humility, I want a humble heart that is gentle. I want to bring my burdens onto the Lord.
The one thing that I've been realizing is that... the more set apart I find myself becoming for the Lord, the more deeper I feel for the world. So it's almost like I'm digging deeper into this world, seeing it as it is. Seeing how sad and sinful it is... it makes me want to have more empathy, and more prayer for the people here. And myself. So the Lord is showing me that to be set apart is to not have a hardened heart towards what goes on around me, but to allow it to effect me to where I come to prayer with the Lord and fully rest and submit to Him what goes on.
Don't follow this worlds pattern. It is sick. It is vile. Everything about it opposes our Lord. But continue to love. Not with worldly love, but with Christs love. Even when you feel they least deserve it, show it. Give it. Without expectations or measures. That is what Christ does with us. He loves us even though He knows we fail. He can gain nothing from us, He is perfectly fine by Himself. But He wants us. Thank You Lord.
Sorry I keep rambling. My heart is feeling a lot of compassion, love, brokenness, all in one.
Make the Gospel your everything. Because we are His everything.