Dear Desperate

[amazzin]

I never bother reading spam or forwarded emails but this one caught my attention as a great laugh

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Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'http: I Thought You Loved Me.html' and try to download Tears.
Don't forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewellery and Flowers, but remember - overuse of the above application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support

[IMINXTC]

Keeping food and hot lingerie in seperate files, of course.

[Cloudwalker]

And be sure to use the food program carefully or the husband program will automatically start running the gaining weight program. The only way to get eliminate this unwanted program is by using the diet and exercise program. If started as soon as it is seen that the gain weight program is running it may not be difficult to eliminate. However if the gain weight program is allowed to run it will eventually morph into the couch potato program, which is very hard to deactivate. Under no circumstance should you ever activate the program called nag, especially when trying to deactivate the couch potato program. Nag will not deactivate couch potato. When nag interacts with couch potato, couch potato burrows into the deepest parts of the husband operating system making it almost impossible to remove.