- Our Watchful Children –

[Shadrach]

Psalm 127:3, “Children are a heritage from the LORD”
Proverbs 31:28, “Her children rise up and call her blessed”
__________

It can be very disturbing to realize that our children often mirror the way we speak and act. I can remember being concerned about the way my son angrily lashed out at his younger brother when he was annoying him. My wife gently pointed out to me that his behavior was a reflection of mine. I can remember a few weeks later, I caught myself lashing out at my son when I was frustrated. Through my wife’s encouragement, I apologized to him for my behavior and told him I would learn to treat him with more respect. In the months that followed, I noticed that my son’s attitude toward his brother also improved. Children don’t learn to love and obey God only by what we say. They also learn by watching how we put our beliefs into practice. It goes on at mealtime, in the car, in the store, in conversation with or about neighbors … all the time. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us we are to teach them about God and His Word as we “sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up”.
__________

Concluding thoughts:

I must say that I can’t think of a more rewarding job than being a parent. This means that God has entrusted my wife and I with the task of training our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). He has given us the duty to teach them the fear of the Lord (Psalm 128). He has asked us to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord without exasperating them (Ephesians 6:4). He has allowed us to share the heritage of faith and for our efforts we get lots of hugs and kisses. Besides leading our children to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, what other kind of influence helps our children? I believe it is modeling a good husband-wife relationship. This will give them the security and love they need to spark their endeavors. Have you ever considered the husband-wife relationship described in Proverbs 31? Although we usually concentrate on the “super mom” aspects of the passage, it’s also important to take note what was said about her husband. This gives us more insight into the relationship of two successful parents.

(1)He trusts her; she does good things for him and never does him harm (vv. 11, 12).
(2)He is respected – evidently earned in part because of a positive relationship at home (v. 23).
(3)He praises her openly (v. 28).

It is very evident that these two individuals are obviously in love, and they know how to show it to their children. No wonder the children “rise up and call her blessed.” Thus, if you want to help your children – then love, respect, praise, and trust your spouse. We can’t be perfect parents, but our children must see our desire to please the Lord. And when we fall short, they need to see our repentance. We teach them by both what we say and what we do. Thus, the question we need to ask is:

(1) Are we living for Christ in such a way that we want our children to imitate us?
__________

Children may close their ears to advice, but their eyes are always open to example

[Diggindeeper]

Very good post! You know, our children (born little babies!) come into this world knowing NOTHING! From us they learn everything they know. But, we teach them to eat, to drink, we change their diapers, we help them learn to sit alone. We help them learn to walk. They hear us and they learn to talk back to us...to communicate. They even learn how to learn!

So it stands to reason that yes, they learn how to behave and how to treat others by watching and hearing those around them!

If only we could ever recognize the power of our influence!

[Jeanne D]

Psalm 127:3, “Children are a heritage from the LORD”
Proverbs 31:28, “Her children rise up and call her blessed”
__________

It can be very disturbing to realize that our children often mirror the way we speak and act. I can remember being concerned about the way my son angrily lashed out at his younger brother when he was annoying him. My wife gently pointed out to me that his behavior was a reflection of mine. I can remember a few weeks later, I caught myself lashing out at my son when I was frustrated. Through my wife’s encouragement, I apologized to him for my behavior and told him I would learn to treat him with more respect. In the months that followed, I noticed that my son’s attitude toward his brother also improved. Children don’t learn to love and obey God only by what we say. They also learn by watching how we put our beliefs into practice. It goes on at mealtime, in the car, in the store, in conversation with or about neighbors … all the time. Deuteronomy 6:7 tells us we are to teach them about God and His Word as we “sit in our house, when we walk by the way, when we lie down, and when we rise up”.
__________

Concluding thoughts:

I must say that I can’t think of a more rewarding job than being a parent. This means that God has entrusted my wife and I with the task of training our children in the way they should go (Proverbs 22:6). He has given us the duty to teach them the fear of the Lord (Psalm 128). He has asked us to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord without exasperating them (Ephesians 6:4). He has allowed us to share the heritage of faith and for our efforts we get lots of hugs and kisses. Besides leading our children to a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, what other kind of influence helps our children? I believe it is modeling a good husband-wife relationship. This will give them the security and love they need to spark their endeavors. Have you ever considered the husband-wife relationship described in Proverbs 31? Although we usually concentrate on the “super mom” aspects of the passage, it’s also important to take note what was said about her husband. This gives us more insight into the relationship of two successful parents.

(1)He trusts her; she does good things for him and never does him harm (vv. 11, 12).
(2)He is respected – evidently earned in part because of a positive relationship at home (v. 23).
(3)He praises her openly (v. 28).

It is very evident that these two individuals are obviously in love, and they know how to show it to their children. No wonder the children “rise up and call her blessed.” Thus, if you want to help your children – then love, respect, praise, and trust your spouse. We can’t be perfect parents, but our children must see our desire to please the Lord. And when we fall short, they need to see our repentance. We teach them by both what we say and what we do. Thus, the question we need to ask is:

(1) Are we living for Christ in such a way that we want our children to imitate us?
__________

Children may close their ears to advice, but their eyes are always open to example

I guess I'm a little touchy about this subject, mainly because my oldest son is backslidden, living in sin and an agnostic. He was not raised that way at all and he saw our example regarding our beliefs. He was in church 3 times a week and we had a family Bible study a few evenings a week. We never allowed unmarried people to share the same room under our roof and we still don't. We aren't perfect by any means, but we did our best to be a good example to him. All was well until he went away to college and then went wild, smoking, drinking and other things. I don't disagree with your post, we are to be examples to our children, but even when we are, they can stray. You see Pastor's kids doing this all the time.

Jeanne

[Diggindeeper]

Yes Jeanne, that must be so hard. I know it would be for me. But, someday I really do believe your wayward son will come back into the fold. Sometimes when people are young, they think they know so much and life looks like all fun and games.

He'll grow up someday. And you are right. Pastor's kids get in trouble too. But you and your husband are still examples to him.

Thanks for posting this. Its does us well to remember that we can do all we can, but still our children make their own decisions as adults.

[Boo]

Just to give you and example that I am intimately aware of (my own), I would like to suggest some food for thought for others who may be reading this thread.

My parents were very strict. They spend two years dabbling in Christianity and pushed my brothers and I into it. We got dragged along with them, as they were using the church to solve other problems in their marriage.

However, when we moved again (military family), their pseudo-Christianity ended. My strict rule following childhood did not.

There was no love, no affection, no eye-to-eye respectul discussions between the parents and the children. However, we were good at following rules and seeming to be very proper kids.

When my brothers and I left home, we went wild. (My parents divorced while little brother was still living at home.)

That is what happens when kids are controlled and not "taught." We must be taught the reasons for the rules and why we should want to obey them. If the only reason for obeying a rule is to avoid punishment; we were not taught. The result can be a disaster later in life.

Even some preachers kids are controlled, but never taught.

[Gilligan]

That is what happens when kids are controlled and not "taught." We must be taught the reasons for the rules and why we should want to obey them. If the only reason for obeying a rule is to avoid punishment; we were not taught. The result can be a disaster later in life.

This is why I don't like it when a parent just says "Because I said so".

A friend of mine laid out a scenario to me about teaching a child obedience, which made my blood boil. It was about a child who had all of his homework and chores completed, and wanted to set up his croquet game in the back yard and was told that he couldn't. He asked why and told his father that his obligations for the day were completed (which was true), and his father replied "Because I said you can't".

[mateusz]

The duty of parents is to grow up child with care and under observation. Our children are our responsibility we should treat them gently and according to their psyche. Its very important for personality development to treat child according to their psyche.

[mateusz]

The duty of parents is to grow up child with care and under observation. Our children are our responsibility we should treat them gently and according to their psyche. Its very important for personality development to treat child according to their psyche.

Any comments?

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