I have a Question for those who know anything about facebook

[IMINXTC]

I'm sure there have been some solid relationships initiated on social-sites like facebook, but that is, by most accounts, the exception to the rule and probably the worst of all places to go looking for one.

Except on the rarest occasions, you cannot know who or what you're dealing with, while charlatans, opportunists and regular loonies are everywhere. Many of the characters you find yourself communicating with are actually fictional - some enjoy creating and perpetuating that virtual persona just for the fun of it.

[cicero]

Sounds sketchy. Without knowing any details, sounds like you're into this a heck of a lot more than she is.

as for online dating, it's a great way to filter based on your priorities... and I've found just as many "crazies" in Christian groups as I have online... although I may be a bit biased at the moment (current relationship is on the rocks).

[MyRock]

It's very easy to let your feelings rule the situation when it comes to a woman you like.

I agree with Tango, it's best for you to leave this and search elsewhere. Remember to let God guide you to the right woman, and keep praying for it.

May be best to de-friend her too. Be like Joseph and leave the situation.

[-SEEKING-]

Honestly man, forget about "finding the truth". It sounds like this situation is pretty much a text book example of how online relationships go wrong and leave someone burned.

For as long as you're concerned about "finding the truth" you leave her hooks in you. I'd suggest the best thing to do from here is just forget about her.

Couldn't have said it any better myself. Totally agree. Move on young brother.

[JK18]

ok, I texted her goodnight last night and when she wrote back she said who is this. Is there a number of reasons that could have happened? I double checked the number and I sent it to the right one.

[tango]

ok, I texted her goodnight last night and when she wrote back she said who is this. Is there a number of reasons that could have happened? I double checked the number and I sent it to the right one.

I'll say it again, you need to forget about her.

It could be she disconnected her phone and someone else has the number. It could be she's deleted your number and doesn't recognise it without your name attached to it. It could be she recognises your number and is trying to make the message even clearer than it already is.

Seriously man, this is going nowhere. All you're doing is setting yourself up to be kicked and kicked again. Look at your posts about this woman, just about everything comes back to whether she can be trusted, whether she's taking you for a ride and as things progress it seems to be clearer and clearer that this isn't going anywhere.

It's not usually easy to accept that you don't mean anything to someone you've invested time and emotion in but sooner or later when that situation arises you have to move on. Otherwise you'd just throwing good time after bad. Cut your losses, forget about her, delete her number from your phone, delete her from your facebook list, and move on.

[JK18]

I heard from her last night and it was all just a big misunderstanding due to technical problems with the phone. Which was the really the reason I thought it it would be.

[tango]

I have recently read some things that make me think she may have been lying to me all along.
Please pray for me that God will help me find out the truth.

I heard from her last night and it was all just a big misunderstanding due to technical problems with the phone. Which was the really the reason I thought it it would be.

All a big misunderstanding? How can you have a "big misunderstanding" due to "technical problems" if all you did was send her a text?

[-SEEKING-]

JK, I really wish you'd consider listening to the advice you're getting here. Not sure how old you are, but I'm old enough to have experience so serious broken hearts. There was one particular girl who had me totally wrapped around her fingers. She knew I was crazy about her, so she kept me close enough as a friend and held me often enough that I could never let her go. To the point that she eventually got me to hook her up with my own friends. My own friends. Don't let this happen to you dude. This kind of pain lasts for years and leaves very deep scars. It's only because of what Jesus has done in my life and heart and finding a wonderful wife of almost 17 years that I'm ok today. That girl even had the audacity to attempt showing up at my wedding. But I told my friends that if they said anything to her, I'd................. Well, let's just leave it at that.

[Liquid Tension]

At the risk of sounding redundant, you need to drop this girl like yesterdays newspaper! You guys aren't even together, and she's got you tied up worse than a contortionist in a pretzel machine. Can you imagine if you guys "hook up"?? It'll be worse!!

Dude, you're only 22. I was married at 22. Biggest mistake of my life! Had other girlfriends after, and even another fiancee to boot. Took me almost 20 years to realize that I enjoy being single more than I enjoy being in a relationship. At 22, just enjoy being single! Your time is your own, your space is your own, your money is your own. You don't have to check in or answer to a "significant other". Enjoy it!!

She's feeding you a bunch of BS with her excuses to you. For whatever reason, she using you. You know it, she knows it. You allow her to do so, and she is taking advantage of it. Forget her. She's not worth the emotional roller coaster you're going through.

[tango]

I heard from her last night and it was all just a big misunderstanding due to technical problems with the phone. Which was the really the reason I thought it it would be.

I wasn't going to chime in again here but what the heck.

Serious question. Do you actually want our advice, or do you just want to cling on to something, anything, that lets you believe this girl really cares? As Liquid Tension said, she's got you wrapped around her little finger and what are you getting in return? It seems you're getting slapped every which way but all she has to do is say something was a misunderstanding and you go running back to her like a puppy, only to get slapped again.

If you don't want to just push her away and tell her to leave you alone, just try slowly retreating from her. If this thing is worth anything at all to her then she'll approach you. If she doesn't then you get to back slowly away from her without having to be The Bad Guy who formally announces it's finished, if that's something you'd rather not deal with.

[MyRock]

I do understand why you are still holding a torch for this person. You have feelings for her, and you can't just switch them off. I've been there man!

However perhaps you do need to look at this from an outsiders perspective. Try to think of yourself as one of your friends, looking at this from their viewpoint.

What advice would you give this situation?

[Sojourner55]

Hi JK,
You've gotten some really good advice here. I would only add two things:
1. Relationships are based on honesty, trust, and reciprocity, and all three of these seem to be missing here.
2. When you're plagued by doubts, the best solution is usually the direct approach: ask the other person to be honest with you.

You're too young to be broken up over someone you don't even really know. If there are no compatible girls around, you might consider a Christian Singles thing--there are a number of them out there. You get a chance to meet nice Christan girls who share your interests, get acquainted over dinner and a movie, and talk face to face without any pressure. I know of people of who have found their soul-mates that way. Who knows? You might be like one of them. At any rate, don't waste your time on someone who won't reciprocate.

[-SEEKING-]

So did this girl end up being your current girlfriend?

[JK18]

yes she did and I am very happy that we are together, I just wish we had more time for each other that kind of worries me.

I got to thinking last night and this was true with my last relationship as well.

Please tell me if I'm being stupid for thinking this, but in both relationships, both had jobs, school and other responsibilities before we ever got together, but while we were still just friends we talked practically everyday, but once we became more and were dating for a while suddenly they became to busy to even speak to me..
now my question is first of all am I crazy for thinking that, that is a little strange or am I making something out of nothing?
Next question is if I'm not, then why does this keep happening to me and how can I possible talk to my gf about it in the right way?