I have a Question for those who know anything about facebook

[JK18]

I know, but this hasn't started until very recently, which is why I'm really hoping that she is just busy with school.

Also, I did get an email. from her a little while ago..
So, I mean she does talk to me, I think the only real reason I'm freaking out is because My EX told me she was busy and hardly ever talked to me just before she dumped me for someone else..

[tango]

You never did answer the question of whether you've actually met her in person, unless I missed it.

Regardless of whether you've actually met (and if you haven't you're not really boyfriend/girlfriend, at best you're staying single until you get chance to meet), if she's going several days at a time without even sending you a quick email that really doesn't look good. How long does it take to send a quick email, even if it just tells you a bit about her day or asks how you're doing?

If she's lost internet access completely and time differences or finances make it difficult to talk by phone that's one thing, but if she's going several days without so much as dropping you a quick note what do you think she might be trying to tell you?

To give you an example of how things can be different, when my wife went to a conference on Saturday (which was only 10 miles away) she met some friends and went into town, and at lunchtime she sent me a text to say how much she was enjoying the conference. It probably only took her 30 seconds to send the text. If you're saying this girl is too busy to spend a couple of minutes at some point in the course of a few days to say hello to her boyfriend, what does that say to you?

[JK18]

ok, quick question. Is this a bad sign?

I texted my gf last night.
Me: Goodnight, Love. I hope we can talk tomorrow.
Her: Alright. :/
I looked up that emoticon and it said it means the person is mad.
Should I be worried?

[-SEEKING-]

Let's try this. Go over to her house and just ask her. I think that texting is too informal and can be easily misinterpreted. And one more thing, not sure how long you've been with her, but using the "L" word will sometimes freak people out if they aren't at the same level of relationship that you are. And by that I mean the world LOVE.

[-SEEKING-]

Hello? Hello?

[Liquid Tension]

At the risk of sounding redundant, you need to drop this girl like yesterdays newspaper! You guys aren't even together, and she's got you tied up worse than a contortionist in a pretzel machine. Can you imagine if you guys "hook up"?? It'll be worse!! <snip>



<snip>She's feeding you a bunch of BS with her excuses to you. For whatever reason, she using you. You know it, she knows it. You allow her to do so, and she is taking advantage of it. Forget her. She's not worth the emotional roller coaster you're going through.

Quoted for posterity.......

[BrianW]

ok, quick question. Is this a bad sign?

I texted my gf last night.
Me: Goodnight, Love. I hope we can talk tomorrow.
Her: Alright. :/
I looked up that emoticon and it said it means the person is mad.
Should I be worried?

OK. Quick question. Make that 2 quick questions.

1. Have you ever met this person face to face?

2. Why do you refuse to answer this question?

[tango]

ok, quick question. Is this a bad sign?

I texted my gf last night.
Me: Goodnight, Love. I hope we can talk tomorrow.
Her: Alright. :/
I looked up that emoticon and it said it means the person is mad.
Should I be worried?

Honestly JK, it's really hard to give you any help at all here. You ask lots of questions about what this girl might mean by stuff but won't even answer the question that's been asked a whole bunch of times about whether you've even met her in person.

If you have to look up emoticons don't put too much stock in them. They are easy to mistype - I've "winked" at friends when I meant to "smile". As Seeking said, texting is a very informal way of communication and all you get is the words. When you talk face to face the actual words only carry something like 12% of the actual message, the remainder being conveyed by tonal inflexions, body language and the like. Look at two simple examples:

A: Traffic this morning was insane
B: Tell me about it

or

A: I'm really struggling with feelings of depression
B: Tell me about it

In the first case the "tell me about it" most likely means "I hear you, been there, done that, got the T-shirt". In the second it's more of an invitation to talk further. But as you can see the actual words used are the same. All you're getting with text messages is the words.



So it keeps coming back to the question you're refusing to answer, namely whether you've actually met this girl in person or not. If you won't answer that then to be honest with you you're wasting your time by constantly asking more and more questions about specific parts of her behaviour.

[tango]

Another couple of thoughts, as I had to finish the previous post a little early.

Firstly about the emoticons, people use them in different ways. :/ might mean she's mad, confused, anxious, just about anything.


Secondly, and this is might sound brutal but that could just be the way it is. What, if anything, is this relationship giving you? From your assorted posts it sounds like it's giving you a whole lot of heartache, in exchange for what exactly?

A serious relationship isn't all about you and if you get married the "what's in it for me" question becomes far less significant (or at least it should), but until you get serious about discussing marriage a relationship has to work out for both sides. And from what you're saying it sounds like she's got you tied up in knots while she goes and does her own thing, making a few moments for you every once in a while if she feels like it. That really isn't a recipe for success however you look at it.

[JK18]

Ok, really the only real problem I am having is we just haven't been able to find enough time for each other lately and that has come from both sides.
Beyond that is the fact that things from my past keep coming to my mind and it makes me worry. It's really nothing she has done she has been great and has treated me better than my EX ever did.
The only thing that triggered it was because when my Ex told me she didn't have time for me She ended up dumping me shortly after that.
But me and my current GF do still talk it's just not very often at the moment. She emailed me yesterday and told me she missed me.
So, I think the real problem is the fact my past relationship keeps coming to my mind and making me wonder if it's going to turn out the same way.
But in all honesty she is nothing like my Ex and I'm coming to realize that I'm most likely worrying over nothing.
Oh, and about the Emoticon, I really was just curious what it meant, I had seen her and a lot of my friends use it before and I never knew what it meant and when I looked it up I wasn't sure if what I found was really correct.

[Liquid Tension]

Which still leaves unanswered the question of "Have you met this girl in person?".

[BrianW]

Please allow me to reiterate.

I have some advice for you.

Stop having relationships over the internet.

Meet a girl at church functions. They have singles groups for a reason. Take advantage of them.

Meet girls at the park, or the Christian book store. Meet a girl at a Christian rock concert.

There are plenty of good, single Christians girls out there looking for a good, single Christian man.

Get out there and start mingling man!

[JK18]

Please allow me to reiterate.

Look man. Quit with that. I do care about this girl and I plan on seeing what happens.
I think I'm done with this thing, thanks for all your help.

[BrianW]

Very well. You started this thing asking for advice and I've given you the best advice that I could. Nothing say's that you have to agree with that advice or my opinion.

You want me to quit I will. I'm not going to push something on someone if they don't want it. I want to help not to offend so I'll stay out of your thread. Because it's your thread man. Please don't let me ruin it for you.

God bless and good luck.

[-SEEKING-]

My young friend. No one here is trying to do anything evil towards you. We are merely trying to show you something we see happening. No one really sees what they've got themselves into until they are out of it. We just don't want you to get hurt once again. I know you feel a little frustrated so that's all I'll say. Remember, we are here for you and each other.