Update on husband problem

[peacewithin]

I just had some things I wanted to say. I was on here awhile back talking about how my husband neglects me. Well, I had shoulder joint replacement surgery two weeks ago and let me tell you, he has waited on me hand and foot. He does the laundry, changes the sheets on the bed, cooks and brings me every meal on a tray and when I need the foot of my recliner up or down he is there to do it for me (my shoulder surgery is on the right side so I can't pull and push the handle up or down) he goes to the store and does our shopping and has even picked up a cosmetic I needed and believe me that is something he wouldn't normally EVER do. He does it all. He knows how I feel about laying around if the house is a little messy, like lint on the carpet, etc. I am a little ocd about that....anyway he keeps the house clean and yesterday I got out of the shower and he was polishing all the wood furniture! He does everything and never complains...never.... and I just want to say that I feel so petty for all the griping I was doing about him. He is a good man and I know he loves me but he just doesn't show affection anymore and I've got to accept it.
Anyway I just wanted to share that with y'all.
Beverly

[Diggindeeper]

Beverly...its in times like these that we can see clearly how much our husband loves us. In sickness and in health?

You are blessed, Beverly! (Don't forget to sneak him a kiss on the cheek and tell him how much you love him and thank him for all he is doing.)

Lots of women don't have that kind of man. Like I said, you are blessed!

[Godslittleangel]

I just had some things I wanted to say. I was on here awhile back talking about how my husband neglects me. Well, I had shoulder joint replacement surgery two weeks ago and let me tell you, he has waited on me hand and foot. He does the laundry, changes the sheets on the bed, cooks and brings me every meal on a tray and when I need the foot of my recliner up or down he is there to do it for me (my shoulder surgery is on the right side so I can't pull and push the handle up or down) he goes to the store and does our shopping and has even picked up a cosmetic I needed and believe me that is something he wouldn't normally EVER do. He does it all. He knows how I feel about laying around if the house is a little messy, like lint on the carpet, etc. I am a little ocd about that....anyway he keeps the house clean and yesterday I got out of the shower and he was polishing all the wood furniture! He does everything and never complains...never.... and I just want to say that I feel so petty for all the griping I was doing about him. He is a good man and I know he loves me but he just doesn't show affection anymore and I've got to accept it.
Anyway I just wanted to share that with y'all.
Beverly

My dad isn't a very affectionate guy either, he's not one to hold hands, and give her hugs/kisses/I love you's every hour, he hugs/kisses/says I love ya to her but usually when he's leaving somewhere. But he shows her he loves her other ways. He takes her out to eat every week, they will go to duluth for the weekend, or camping somewhere in summer. He will take her to a movie too once and a while. He doesn't show it in the affectionate way women like but he has his own way to show it. and i'd rather have a man show me he loves me in a way he feels comfortable because then he will mean it, where if I limit him to what I want him to do, it will just be an act and not end up wiht him meaning it but just to make me happy. I want him to mean it, and want him to be him too. Someitmes they change and we just have to look for it ohter places. I'm not married (so I am not an expert) but just basing it off from what I learned from my parents when I read your other topic, everyone is different, they ahve their own ways of showing it or find different ways they feel more comfortable with at that time, we just have to listen to them and watch them to find it. ;-)

Glad to see that things are geting better though. I'm sure its frustrating when things change and send ya in a head spinning frenzy trying to figure out what happened. But its ok, he just found another way to show he loves ya in a way he's comfortable and in a way he feels hecan show he means it.

[Jeanne D]

I just had some things I wanted to say. I was on here awhile back talking about how my husband neglects me. Well, I had shoulder joint replacement surgery two weeks ago and let me tell you, he has waited on me hand and foot. He does the laundry, changes the sheets on the bed, cooks and brings me every meal on a tray and when I need the foot of my recliner up or down he is there to do it for me (my shoulder surgery is on the right side so I can't pull and push the handle up or down) he goes to the store and does our shopping and has even picked up a cosmetic I needed and believe me that is something he wouldn't normally EVER do. He does it all. He knows how I feel about laying around if the house is a little messy, like lint on the carpet, etc. I am a little ocd about that....anyway he keeps the house clean and yesterday I got out of the shower and he was polishing all the wood furniture! He does everything and never complains...never.... and I just want to say that I feel so petty for all the griping I was doing about him. He is a good man and I know he loves me but he just doesn't show affection anymore and I've got to accept it.
Anyway I just wanted to share that with y'all.
Beverly

He sounds like a good guy, and it's obvious he really cares about you.
As for physical affection, keep praying about it. I have a feeling the Lord's gonna take care of that too.

Jeanne

[peacewithin]

Judy,
I know how blessed I am...believe me I do. He knows I love him cause I show it all the time and I would never take advantage of him waiting on me while I get over this surgery. I love to do things for him too. As for the hugs and kisses...oh well....You know for some reason now it doens't seem like that big of a deal.
Started PT today and tonight I'm really feeling it! Hope you all have a good night! I really appreciate the comments too!
Beverly

[catlover]

I just had some things I wanted to say. I was on here awhile back talking about how my husband neglects me. Well, I had shoulder joint replacement surgery two weeks ago and let me tell you, he has waited on me hand and foot. He does the laundry, changes the sheets on the bed, cooks and brings me every meal on a tray and when I need the foot of my recliner up or down he is there to do it for me (my shoulder surgery is on the right side so I can't pull and push the handle up or down) he goes to the store and does our shopping and has even picked up a cosmetic I needed and believe me that is something he wouldn't normally EVER do. He does it all. He knows how I feel about laying around if the house is a little messy, like lint on the carpet, etc. I am a little ocd about that....anyway he keeps the house clean and yesterday I got out of the shower and he was polishing all the wood furniture! He does everything and never complains...never.... and I just want to say that I feel so petty for all the griping I was doing about him. He is a good man and I know he loves me but he just doesn't show affection anymore and I've got to accept it.
Anyway I just wanted to share that with y'all.
Beverly

So glad you shared this and hope you will be up and around in no time. You know, there is not a thing in world wrong with wanting/needing affection, but to me, what you wrote is what marriage is all about. Looking out for each each, filling in the gaps when needed, being there for the other person during times like this. And to not complain!! That is just icing on the cake.

[starlitskie]

Hmm. I feel like I have the complete role reversal. At only 23 I don't desire sex at all. We have a son now, which I am amazed about because we were only doing stuff once a fortnight and only one time didn't use protection. It's worse now, i try to have sex twice a week but i don't enjoy anything about it, in fact i quite hate doing it. I went to the doctors which was no help... so i don't really know. TMI but even when i didn't really enjoy it that much i would get some sexual desires but now i get nothing at all. my compromise is to try to for husband (and future babies lol!) but i really, really hate it and don't know what to do. Would he read the book about the 5 love languages? yours is obviously physical touch (well at least one of them). i dont know that it would be medical if he doesnt want to even touch (not have sex) either. could he not work towards improving that even if he doesnt want sex?

[Dani H]

We all show love differently. I'm glad you see your husband's love for what it is. That's great!

Now that you know how he does it ... maybe you can think back and see that it's been there all along. Sometimes we're just blind because of our expectations of how we believe something should be done.

[peacewithin]

Thank you catlover. I guess sometimes it takes something like this to make you see what's really important.

So glad you shared this and hope you will be up and around in no time. You know, there is not a thing in world wrong with wanting/needing affection, but to me, what you wrote is what marriage is all about. Looking out for each each, filling in the gaps when needed, being there for the other person during times like this. And to not complain!! That is just icing on the cake.

[peacewithin]

I totally agree.

We all show love differently. I'm glad you see your husband's love for what it is. That's great!

Now that you know how he does it ... maybe you can think back and see that it's been there all along. Sometimes we're just blind because of our expectations of how we believe something should be done.

[beachbum53]

I didn't see your other thread but that's awesome A good man you have!! I hope you heal quickly and BTW love your picture; you look so darn cute!

[Odelia]

I just had some things I wanted to say. I was on here awhile back talking about how my husband neglects me. Well, I had shoulder joint replacement surgery two weeks ago and let me tell you, he has waited on me hand and foot. He does the laundry, changes the sheets on the bed, cooks and brings me every meal on a tray and when I need the foot of my recliner up or down he is there to do it for me (my shoulder surgery is on the right side so I can't pull and push the handle up or down) he goes to the store and does our shopping and has even picked up a cosmetic I needed and believe me that is something he wouldn't normally EVER do. He does it all. He knows how I feel about laying around if the house is a little messy, like lint on the carpet, etc. I am a little ocd about that....anyway he keeps the house clean and yesterday I got out of the shower and he was polishing all the wood furniture! He does everything and never complains...never.... and I just want to say that I feel so petty for all the griping I was doing about him. He is a good man and I know he loves me but he just doesn't show affection anymore and I've got to accept it.
Anyway I just wanted to share that with y'all.
Beverly

I'm new here and haven't read any previous posts on the topic but I can get an idea of what it was about.
I am sure you do know, without a doubt, how much your husband must truly love you.
I also give YOU credit for acknowledging his goodness and love toward you, no matter your past feelings.
Bless you both, and I hope you have mended quickly