Defeating Pornography

[Dravenhawk]

This is one area of my life that isnt shored up very well I hate to say. The deception for me is good ol denial. I believed that looking at "soft" porn was ok and masterbation was better than going all out and committing adultry. Ah the power of bargaining! I can so relate to doing the deed, feeling remorse, going to the cross for what seems like the ten millionth time to bang on the door and ask Christ for forgiveness. In the sex saturated society where we are constantly bombarded with racy images of women in advertising TV and movies one becomes somewhat desensitizes to it, maybe even hipnotically numb to an extent. So here I was yesterday night watching rhe Battlestar Galictica miniseries opener (the new one not the one from the 1970s) while doing the night watch for the homeless shelter our church operates. This racy scene comes on, it was downright soft porn. I didnt turn it off rationalizing in my head that the scene would be over and the remainder of the movie was space battle stuff. Well the next day my pastor kindly took me aside and told me that by entertaining that spirti I was bringing it in with me even though I did not find the scene appealing the enemy was using it as a foothold to access not only my mind but also the minds of the 25 or so homeless folk we are trying to save. To rationalize that entertaining the sin of lust is only a sin upon ones self is complete folly. I told my pastor that I would destroy the movie lest I or anyone else watch it again. My pastor asks me "What are you going to do with the sin that still is in your heart?" He showed me that it is a spirit that I have allowed to become attached to my heart and that I was bringing it in with me. Mind you I didnt tell him I have been masterbating to imaginings conjured forth in my mind then asking for forgiveness in secret, but there it was as plain as a wart the size of a casaba mellon on my nose for him to see. It gave me pause to ask wether how many others am I affecting with this spirit. My pastor also told me that by entertaining this spirit it is blocking out how I might be hearing from God. - - - - Dravenhawk

[vlad]

a lot of males and females struggle in this area . your not alone who has struggled for decades .

[SteveL]

Thanks for sharing your story, Dravenhawk. I absolutely agree with your pastor that we who sin freely and knowingly... it blocks us from hearing God.

I went a record 45 days or so clean, but slipped up and have since been struggling with this square dance of "staying strong for you Lord" "oops I sinned again" "forgive me Lord" repeat. Since I've found myself re-dabbling in this sin, I have felt very distanced from God. It scares me because I also felt at one point almost indifferent. I think I went through a period where I became very cynical and very selfish (i.e. accepting defeat and engaging in the sin multiple times a week). But I don't want to keep walking down that path anymore. I certainly need God's grace more now than ever before!

[poriggity]

I know this thread is a little old, but Steve, I'd like to hear how you are doing with this battle. I too faced this struggle, and did not stop until recently. I re-devoted myself to the Lord, and quite honestly, at this point, I have no desire to look at pornography any longer. The Devil may tempt me to look again soon, but I know I can stay strong in the Lord.

I am praying for you!

[SteveL]

I know this thread is a little old, but Steve, I'd like to hear how you are doing with this battle. I too faced this struggle, and did not stop until recently. I re-devoted myself to the Lord, and quite honestly, at this point, I have no desire to look at pornography any longer. The Devil may tempt me to look again soon, but I know I can stay strong in the Lord.

I am praying for you!

Thank you! Coincidentally, I viewed this thread LAST NIGHT (before you replied). Huh, God works in mysterious ways I guess. It's fitting that this thread is revived, because my desire for purity has recently gone through a revival. I have slipped up here and there, but now it's a little different. I think my accountability partner leaving me -- I let that affect me too much, when it shouldn't be about humans, but my relationship with Christ. I'm now more determined than normal to walk pure and upright, honoring the Lord.

Especially with my recent full time job offer, I want to more than ever walk as purely as possible. Despite my sinning, the Lord continues to reveal His glory and grace to a sinner like me. It's really humbling and at some point your heart doesn't want to break your Daddy's heart anymore, while He continually extends His hand of love and grace out to you.

Thanks again for your prayers

[Dani H]

God bless you people for coming out here and being honest.

The best way to stay defeated is to keep yourself isolated.

[SteveL]

God bless you people for coming out here and being honest.

The best way to stay defeated is to keep yourself isolated.

Indeed, Dani. Guilt, shame and isolation are some of the enemy's strongest tricks. That's when we have to remember Romans 8:1, Hebrews 10:25 and James 5:16 among others. There is no condemnation for those under Christ! I am choosing to walk in victory this day, not in defeat, for Christ has already won the battle. This is a declaration we must proclaim each morning while putting on the full Armor of God

[Dani H]

Remember you're not made for isolation. It's a self-protect mechanism that is rooted in our fallen state.

You were made for fellowship with God.

Don't isolate yourself from Him. Go to Him. With everything. Cause He already knows anyway, and none of us are really hiding anything.

Might as well go on the offensive and be done with it.

[SteveL]

I don't want to get too caught up in numbers but praise God -- two weeks now and counting of purity!

With my new full time job as a teacher, I now have much more at stake. To those who are given much, much is expected. Whereas before I was a part time teacher and lived my life selfishly, now I'm trying to re-position Jesus in the center, and also thinking about my (future) students (come next month!). I'm living for 20 (students) now, not just myself. I do not want to enter the classroom full time with this habitual sin hanging over my head.

How's everyone else doing in the pornography department?

[jimmie]

Hello Steve I just wanna say bravo to you for fighting this sin and being open about something that alot of people would not usually share. I know you say you slip up from time to time but you have been moving in the right direction and more often then not you avoid sin. This is pretty impressive IMO especially considering the world we live in today where the temptation is just so strong.

Im working on this area of myself. I havent viewed pornography in weeks although I have masturbated 2x. Im at a point where I really do wanna follow Christ and im not sure if I can do that full of lust. I work in the public and for years its been easy to see an attractive woman walk in and look at her with lust. I dont wanna do any of that anymore no more lust whether its by sight or by masturbating. It sounds so easy to just stop but it really isnt it lol but it can be done and it will be done. Good job my freind and keep it up.

[SteveL]

Hello Steve I just wanna say bravo to you for fighting this sin and being open about something that alot of people would not usually share. I know you say you slip up from time to time but you have been moving in the right direction and more often then not you avoid sin. This is pretty impressive IMO especially considering the world we live in today where the temptation is just so strong.

Im working on this area of myself. I havent viewed pornography in weeks although I have masturbated 2x. Im at a point where I really do wanna follow Christ and im not sure if I can do that full of lust. I work in the public and for years its been easy to see an attractive woman walk in and look at her with lust. I dont wanna do any of that anymore no more lust whether its by sight or by masturbating. It sounds so easy to just stop but it really isnt it lol but it can be done and it will be done. Good job my freind and keep it up.

God bless you brother! I just lifted you, myself, all other brothers and sisters up into the Lord's hands. We definitely need to pray for one another. Thank you for sharing, your encouragement and being so honest. I know what you mean, especially with it being summer time, if you go to a mall or any kind of place where young adults flock (I'm a young adult myself), it's easy to get caught up in staring at a woman in a sinful manner.

My personal weakness has been Saturdays. That's always been the day that gets me, and challenges me the most. And boy, this past Saturday, I was tempted. The thought of going to do the act and "relieve myself" was trying its hardest to burrow its way into my scalp. Praise God, I walked in victory last Saturday (where I usually stumble in the past). I think sometimes I get to a point where I deliberately already made up my mind to be selfish and give myself a release... and I was feeling that way dangerously this past Saturday. However, I prayed for grace and strength. Not long after, my brother and his girlfriend dropped by, and I pretty much spent the night in their company. As my mentor tells me, we can only take it 1 day at a time, and pray for one another.

My personal best is 40-45 days clean. I did that this past early February-late March but upon stumbling in late March, I went through a period where I was doing it 1-4x a week. Pretty soon it became back to that "Oh man, I just can't kick this habit" mindset. Not long ago, I felt convicted to refocus my commitment to honoring Christ and keeping my actions pure. I pray for His continued grace.

Thanks again for sharing, Jimmie. God IS with us and our brothers and sisters!

[jimmie]

God bless you brother! I just lifted you, myself, all other brothers and sisters up into the Lord's hands. We definitely need to pray for one another. Thank you for sharing, your encouragement and being so honest. I know what you mean, especially with it being summer time, if you go to a mall or any kind of place where young adults flock (I'm a young adult myself), it's easy to get caught up in staring at a woman in a sinful manner.

My personal weakness has been Saturdays. That's always been the day that gets me, and challenges me the most. And boy, this past Saturday, I was tempted. The thought of going to do the act and "relieve myself" was trying its hardest to burrow its way into my scalp. Praise God, I walked in victory last Saturday (where I usually stumble in the past). I think sometimes I get to a point where I deliberately already made up my mind to be selfish and give myself a release... and I was feeling that way dangerously this past Saturday. However, I prayed for grace and strength. Not long after, my brother and his girlfriend dropped by, and I pretty much spent the night in their company. As my mentor tells me, we can only take it 1 day at a time, and pray for one another.

My personal best is 40-45 days clean. I did that this past early February-late March but upon stumbling in late March, I went through a period where I was doing it 1-4x a week. Pretty soon it became back to that "Oh man, I just can't kick this habit" mindset. Not long ago, I felt convicted to refocus my commitment to honoring Christ and keeping my actions pure. I pray for His continued grace.

Thanks again for sharing, Jimmie. God IS with us and our brothers and sisters!

Wow Steve I have to say you are really giving me extra motivation to kick this habit of mine to the curb. I myself am a young adult only 23 years old and I think for younger guys it has to be the hardest. When you talk about the Saturday's it reminds me of just last night where I had some alone time and I had the urge to like you sae relieve myself. I fought that urge and feel much better doing that then I do by giving in.

Ive made a committment to stop all my sexual sin. Since being Baptized I knew that the old me was dead and for the first few months after I didnt take it that seriously in all honesty. I still kept masturbating and viewing porn and and I kinda figured since ive already sex before why would I ever wanna wait till im married ? I got involved with a girl from the church a few months ago and it was very tough because of the mutual physical attraction we had for each other and I tried to avoid us doing anything besides cuddling or hugging. She usually initiated everything which was even more difficult for me but I always fought it and she thanked for until alittle less then 2 weeks ago. We got very close to going all the way and it in seemed to complicate things that and us both having alot of work to do in Christ before we should be together and then she broke up with a couple of days later.

Accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior has changed me and for the better. I dont wanna look at women with lust AT ALL and I dont wanna masturbate AT ALL. I choose now to honor and follow Christ and fight these and urges and wait until im married.

BTW Steve I agree ill pray you and I hope you pray for me to.

[SteveL]

I will keep you in prayer, Jimmie, everytime I pray for myself I will pray for you as well. Good job not caving in. I heard from a brother once that it's all about gaining momentum. He hasn't masturbated for OVER A YEAR. He said after a certain point, it simply became a part of his old lifestyle. We're all different, but I myself am seeing the value in the length of one's purity. When I used to masturbate a couple times a week my thinking would be "Oh it's only been 3 days. I can break it..." whereas now I'm heading toward 3 weeks clean. My temptation this past Saturday was partly counteracted by me stating over and over "I have gone over 2 weeks clean. I don't want to break that nice long streak now." It helped, because I have some + momentum going right now. Whereas 2-3 days you can be like "Eh, what does it matter?"

But of course, everything must be filtered through Jesus and He is the beginning, middle and end of everything we do. I also have to be careful playing the "numbers game" because that's when pride can kick in and then I stumble. The best thing to do is keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and keep moving forward. No wonder the Bible teaches us that being idle is dangerous and teaches us to redeem the time.

Thanks for sharing your personal story with your ex as well. God is growing you!

[SteveL]

Just wanted to praise God -- I'm just around one month free of not only masturbation but ALSO free of NOT viewing pornography. I haven't hit the month mark in about four months, so it feels really good to be able to say I've stayed clean and pure IN THIS REALM this long for God. I'm definitely doing it to honor Him in reverence. Because if I did not believe in God, I'd be very selfish and give in probably every (other) day, with zero self-control of the flesh. It's been a good month. I'm really happy Holy Spirit has aided me to focus on other things and not fall into temptations. Have I been tempted? Absolutely. Have I seeked God instead of running to the computer? Yes. It has made all the difference.

Now my goal is to continue this, break my previous best of 42-ish days clean. I'd like to hit two months a month from now, which coincidentally (or not) will be the first day of my life where I start working full time. It'll be a good celebratory day... first day working full time and 60 days clean for God!

How's everyone else doing out there? Successfully running to God instead of your computer? No condemnation if you've slipped. Romans 8:1. Just pick yourself up and move on! But I can tell you nothing beats living a pure clean life for God. I repent in other areas of my life, but it feels good not having to repent in this area.

[ChristianCoffee]

Congrats, Steve: I will continue to pray for you (all everyone else) on this matter.