I thank God for His mercies and grace.
Tonight I nearly stumbled. For the first time in a month, I found myself viewing pornography on the internet. No excuses -- but I went to the mall on Thursday and found myself surrounded by a lot of good looking women who were in summer attire. I shouldn't have made those "second glances" (which is something I'm weak with) because it only added some images in my mind. Tonight I found myself idle, and wandered onto the net.
However, I did not fall completely. For the first time in my life, I was able to walk away from my computer without doing the deed after viewing pornography. I don't know how I did that except for the grace of God. In the past once I start the process it's already too late. Tonight, I started (meaning, strictly viewing), but never did the actual act. I know I still sinned by viewing, but it was a big step for me to be able to say NO and walk away.
I just wanted to confess this publicly. It's amazing how pride can sneak up on you. Just a few days ago I updated this thread and was all on fire. Then I had a minor stumble in the road. Nevertheless, no condemnation in Christ, and I praise God that I was able to exercise enough self-control tonight from fully stumbling. Again, it's His grace. Once I fire up porn on the net I've already lost the battle. Somehow, tonight, by God's grace, I was able to turn off my computer, say NO and walk away.
Thank you for your prayers -- I have no doubt they are helping!