I feel like breaking down

[starlitskie]

I don't know what to do. I am unhappily married and I just feel like I am on my own and that I have to rely just on myself because we are not a team the way we should be and nothing -- not relationship counselling etc has helped.

Yesterday the car died and we need a new one. We actually needed a second car but now we have none. My husband will have to somehow work out a way to get a new car but he wants a manual and i can't drive those.

There is a 10,000 motorbike that hardly gets used sitting in the garage. He doesn't even take it to work because he doesn't want it to get dust on it. So it's a toy really... we could sell it and both have decent cars, geez all i want is a car worth 2K. Our last car that just died was a little $600 bomb. He won't under any circumstances sell the bike.

I can't afford a loan. And i don't think he can get accepted a loan now that i have had a baby but even if we did he would get a stupid car making it even harder for me to get a good car.......

I don't know what to do or how to sort it out with him. It's hopeless.

[episkopos]

I don't know what to do. I am unhappily married and I just feel like I am on my own and that I have to rely just on myself because we are not a team the way we should be and nothing -- not relationship counselling etc has helped.

Yesterday the car died and we need a new one. We actually needed a second car but now we have none. My husband will have to somehow work out a way to get a new car but he wants a manual and i can't drive those.

There is a 10,000 motorbike that hardly gets used sitting in the garage. He doesn't even take it to work because he doesn't want it to get dust on it. So it's a toy really... we could sell it and both have decent cars, geez all i want is a car worth 2K. Our last car that just died was a little $600 bomb. He won't under any circumstances sell the bike.

I can't afford a loan. And i don't think he can get accepted a loan now that i have had a baby but even if we did he would get a stupid car making it even harder for me to get a good car.......

I don't know what to do or how to sort it out with him. It's hopeless.

Put your confidence in the Lord by giving your husband to Him for "treatment". Your job is to rejoice and thank the Lord in advance for what He is about to do!!!

[turtledove]

Well, I certainly wouldn't like that situation myself; but it is not hopeless. Christ in us remains the hope of glory!

You need to forgive him and keep praying for him and, I know it is hard, but give him to God. Like just said above..the "treatment" on him is the Lord's job.

You said you have tried relationship counseling. Maybe continuing to find a pastor or another Christian counselor for both of you to go to would help.

Anyway, being married now 50 years to my husband I do recall the early years when we were both immature and had to learn to start recognizing our own selfishness and give way to the other. God brought many improvements; but not until I let go and let God do it. Once in the middle of an argument I remember the Lord actually shutting my mouth. Really, I couldn't speak. It happens.

Anyway.. with a few scriptures to ponder:

Proverbs 19:11 "A man's wisdom gives him patience, it is to his glory to overlook an offense."

1 Peter 4:8 "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins."

1 Cor. 23:4-5. "Love is patient, love is kind. It is not easily angered."

peace and blessing of the season.

[andrew_no_one]

Luke 10:41-42a
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed...

Focus on the Lord and what YOU can do for your husband, not on how your husband isn't meeting your expectations and certainly not on some "stupid" car.
You're not a team because you're not being a team player; that is why counseling hasn't worked. Keyword search the word "wives" in an online Bible and submit to your husband as unto the Lord. Perhaps your husband shall be won over by your godly example.

[Longsufferer]

The constant topic in your thoughts is a "car" or mode of transportation as your reasoning to be unhappy; this should not be a reason for grief for a believer, because it is an object made with hands. In Christ we are to deny our own will for the very purpose of putting away selfishness, and yes it does cause us to sacrifice, and to take the wrong; but that is what the cross is, that is what the law of Christ is.