Hi, I'm new here and wasn't sure where to post this but thought this would be the best place to get some good advice.
I am so upset over something going on between my sister and I. She is about seven years older (I’m late 50’s, she’s late 60’s) and since we were young, she has always tried to tell me what to do, give me advice that she thought I should always follow, tell me how to dress, wear my hair, etc. I’m by nature a very easy going person and just try to get along with other people, if at all possible. We have had falling outs over the years and if I feel like it’s my fault I always apologize to her but if it’s her fault and I just stop emailing or calling, she will call and act like nothing ever happened, but will never admit she was the one who started it. One of the things that we have never mentioned but is understood is, you never talk about each others children unless it’s in a positive way. I have never said a bad thing about any of her kids but here is my problem that I’m hoping someone can give me some advice. Both of my daughters are Christians but only my youngest daughter and son-n-law are really trying to raise their children in Church and involved in a lot of different outreach programs to help other people. She has the sweetest personality and they would both do anything for anyone. They are hard working and happy. My sister has got to where she makes little remarks about her that kind of bothered me but I thought I was maybe overreacting so I let it go. She finally said something that was to me, crossing the line. So early Christmas Eve I emailed her and told her it was really on my mind and bothered me a lot so from now on I’d just as soon keep my daughter out of our conversations. I was as nice as I could be and the email I got back from her was unreal! She got so mad and said some terrible things about my daughter. I emailed her back and told her what I thought but kept it nice. I told her, now, you can be mad if you want to or we can get past this and go on. You wouldn’t believe what she wrote back and even used a couple of bad words! I love my sister. She can be so hateful if she’s crossed and turn right around and be the most kind hearted, giving person….until she doesn’t get her way. I honestly don’t think I can get past this, this time. I’m done being her doormat. Am I wrong? I wrote this fast and I'm sure I left out some things but I just wanted to give you a general idea of what I’m dealing with and get your feedback.
Thank you so much for any advice.
Ann
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I to have a sister who is very nice until she can't get her own way - then look out. I don't believe you are doing wrong over this. I believe that when our children are being lied about then we should stand up and state the truth - as we should for anyone in this type of situation. Yes Jesus does tell us to love our neighbour but is it really love when we sit back and allow bad behavior, from them, to continue. Is it really love when we don't also practise "tough love" when needed? Jesus shows us the love of God in His words and His interactions with others. Jesus also shows us He practised tough love when needed - look at how He spoke to the Pharisees and Saducees. Jesus did not sit back and let people treat Him however they pleased and just put up with it. When they were treating Him or others wrong He took a strong stand against it but always in love. True love, God's love, does not mean being a doormat to anyone. If what your saying is correct then you need to take a stand against your sister and not let her run roughshod over your family. The other thing to remember is that she probably will never admit she is in the wrong so be prepared for a fight. Does your daughter know what her aunt is doing? If not I would advise you to tell your daughter so she is aware of the problem and won't fall for any tricks her aunt tries. 
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