
Originally Posted by
PneumaPsucheSoma
I can only share my personal testimony.
I was raised in a loving home by a Baptist minister and his faithfully supportive wife. I grew up under the pew, in the choir loft, and at every activity of every kind. My father was seminary-trained and fulfilled every possible Associate and Senior Pastoral position and role available in modern Protestant ecclesiology.
At 7 years old in a revival meeting, I went forward to make a profession of faith. I was asked why I came to the front, and I said I wanted to "get saved". The home Pastor said, "My, we're glad you've come to the front. Pray this prayer after me [insert sinner's prayer here], and you'll be saved. I did, and was baptized the next Sunday after my parents were very convinced I was saved. I believed Jesus was the Son of God.
Throught the years, I struggled to grow up like all kids/teenagers. I spent summers at multiple youth camps, and felt a call of God on my life. I decided to attend Bible College to prepare for ministry. I had been plagued with doubt and fear for a number of years, and at age 20 I attended a crusade while I was active as an apprentice on the ministry staff of a very large church. One night, the message was about "nailing down your salvation if you have doubts", and the altars were full, including me. Hundreds were weeping and "driving a stake of faith in the ground for assurance". I was "doubt dunked" the next week for my second free bath.
I finished college, took an Associate position on Pastoral staff, got married, and began years of ministry to all ages in various Pastoral roles. I was doing what I knew to do. What I felt I should do. And I never really had any doubts about my salvation after college. I was growing youth ministry from 10 to over 100; children's ministry from 25 to over 100; reaching families and bringing them into the church; growing the adult choir by double; adding choirs for age-groups; starting instrumental groups; teaching, preaching, and singing in revivals and nursing homes and any other venue possible; driving vans and buses to pick up all ages for services; attending school activities and integrating into the community.
To cut it short... I didn't know in whom I had believed. Because I'd been raised Trinitarian, that was my only consideration as truth. I would argue vehemently for Trinity, much like many on the forum do. I never once considered that I didn't have salvific faith because Trinity is the mainstay of Christianity. It never entered my mind to question my indoctrination.
After 12 years in Pastoral ministry, I had become disillusioned with myself and others. The growth in numbers and programs and attendance just didn't matter, because I didn't see or feel God in any of it. Sure, there were times and moments; but overall I saw power struggles and carnal believers, including myself. I would cry out to God that there had to be more but I didn't know what it was. Finally, I left my church and went into private business.
I was financially successful, but my marriage was falling apart. After 3 years and a divorce, my life was in shambles and I was desperate. It was at this time God brought a man into my life who shared the truth of the Gospel with me in a way that changed my life. He began to share with me that Jesus is God. Of course, my response was immediately that yes, Jesus is God. It took a few days, but I began to understand what he was saying as he showed me the fallacy of Trinity and that God is one.
I had somehow always believed the Father was God, and that the Son was also divine. Since the Son was a different "person" than the Father and the Holy Spirit, I never really assmilated the Son as actually being God even though I believed he was somehow divine. I had never truly believed that Jesus was God. I had assented to what I was indoctrinated to say, think, and believe, but had no idea I didn't actually have salvific faith.
After many questions, I left my new mentor and went to earnest prayer with a repentant heart. I confessed my sin and repented, and I poured my heart out to God in confusion. I asked God to remove everything in my heart and mind that wasn't the truth; to add whatever was missing in my heart that WAS the truth; and to change anything else that was partially true or needed any change for me to know the truth. I tearfully opened my Bible to Hebrews; and by about chapter 7 the Word had come alive to me and I could clearly see that Jesus IS God. Not just the Son of God. Not a different "person" than the Father. Jesus is the person of God in the flesh.
THAT was the moment of true salvific faith for me, when I believed Jesus was the one singular God in the flesh and NOT a separate "person" from the Father who was God. Trinity had hidden the true WHOLE deity of Christ from me. The "persons" were so discreet, I couldn't believe they were the same God, though I vehemently said I did for 28 years. I was scripturally baptized immediately.
For a couple of years, I was content to know God was one. Not a Modalist Oneness, but one. I wasn't sure how and didn't care. I had a vital relationship in prayer and fasting, and the word was alive to me while I voraciously read it day and night to know Him more. I never had any inkling all this time of "reformulating" the Godhead in any way. But challenges and oppositions came over and over. So I began study with a premiere Greek mentor and had been incessantly praying for the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him.
As the years went by, the Spirit led me to concentrate on the constitution of man as spirit, soul, and body; and I began praying and fasting one Greek word at a time until I began to have a clear understanding of many things. This same process ultimately led me to the process of digging out an entire exegesis that would maintain every contributing sub-tenet of Trinity while expunging "persons".
Bottom line: Trinity CAN obscure the true nature of the FULL deity of Christ. It did for me, for 28 years. Jesus isn't just 1/3 of God as part of God; Jesus is every bit of God, and not because of a contrived perichoresis sub-doctrine that the "persons" are all in each other.
Trinity has become Triadism. I believed Jesus was some part of a deity, but not GOD. I believed Jesus was a different "who" that the one true God. That's the danger in believing a doctrine of men that has been built upon the foundation of an extra-biblical ("person/s") term to even be expressed. Personhood can supplant Godhood.
Trinity isn't inherently heretical in the sense of being automatically non-salvific, and many Trinitarians DO have salvific faith; but there are many who share my plight and don't know it.
A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. Anything not in the sacred text is leaven. I had partaken of the leaven of "person/s" in Trinity. It cost me my soul for 28 years; as a child, a teenager, a Bible College student, a minister, a husband, and a father. Now I know in whom I have believed. How can one believe in whom they have not heard? Because of Trinity, my heart had not heard that Jesus IS God. Now I have ears to hear.
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