What to do about church?

[mom_of_four]

OK, I mentioned this once before. But, this is really starting to bother me. My husband and I are struggling with trying to decide where to go to church at regularly. For those of you who haven't heard the story before, here is a quick run-down : We attend Assembly of God churches. I grew up in a Baptist church. But, after I became an adult, I realized that the Baptist church wasn't for me. Nothing against the Baptist churches - I believe that they are Christian people and that they will go to Heaven too. It is just that a few things in their doctrine I don't agree with. Anyway, there are only 4 Assembly of God churches in our entire area. One is a 45 minute drive away. So, due to gas prices, strike that one out. Another is about 15 minutes away but they don't have a youth program or Sunday School classes for kids because they have a congregation that is about 98% adults. So, don't want to go there because I want my kids involved in Sunday School growing up. The third one is about 25 minutes away. But, did not agree with the way they did things there at ALL while we were visiting them. They expected kids there to be completely SILENT during the sermons. I don't believe in kids running around and being wild, trust me! But, when a church usher gives you the evil eye because your child whispers "Mommy, gotta go pee!" (I saw this) then that is ridiculous. So, strike that church out. The 4th church is only about 3 minutes from our house!! But, there has been a big church split there recently. And the worst part of it is that we don't even know why! That is the church we have been attending since about February of last year. But, last November, my oldest little girl became sick and we ended up missing about 5 services in a row because she kept having set-backs in her illness. Then, when we finally made it back to church there, the pastor was gone and no one told us why. Then, this past Sunday, they voted a new Pastor in. And you could feel the tension in the air! It was almost a hostile environment. About 1/3 of the members were missing and some of the ones who were still there did not look happy with this new choice in pastors. They had us raise our hands to vote the new Pastor in. And the voting was about 70/30. To say the least, I expect even more member to leave there soon. So, what do we do? We were so happy when we realized that there was an Assembly of God so close to us. Now, this happens. We really need prayer and guidance.

[amazzin]

As a pastor I will say this to you:

Are the leaders and/or the pastor hindering the move of God?
Is there unforgiveness and unrepentent hearts?

If so, can God use you for change?

If not, your options are clear.

[mom_of_four]

As a pastor I will say this to you:

Are the leaders and/or the pastor hindering the move of God?
Is there unforgiveness and unrepentent hearts?

If so, can God use you for change?

If not, your options are clear.

All I know is that my husband and I have been attending this church for almost 1 year now and we still feel like outsiders when we go there. Know what I mean? I feel like I am treated like a "visitor" rather than a regular member. And I don't like feeling this way. I want to be a part of the church. I know I have 2 little ones. But, I am used to "jumping in and getting my hands dirty". At our last church, I cooked for Vacation Bible School, I published and printed the church Bulletin paper every month and I made sure that my kids were a big part of the youth group. Honestly, at this church, I wonder how many people actually know my name? And it is not that we haven't tried to get involved. We have offered things. But, it's like we aren't taken seriously? To be honest, I am not 100% SURE...But I am thinking that a lot of the split is due to one of the deacons in the church. He has a LOT of money and has personally made a lot of big purchases for the church voluntarily. And I think that he feels this gives him the upper hand. In fact, HE is the one who brought in this new pastor. I do believe there are some really good people in this church and that they are not ALL hindering the move of God. But, I feel that some of them are. There have been 2 young men who have been appointed as Assistant Pastors to the new pastor. And I truly believe that these 2 men are good men. But, this new pastor - we know nothing about him. And as he was answering questions about himself last Sunday (before he was voted in), I felt an atmosphere of anger among the church members. They were asking some very defensive questions and acting very upset that this man was brought in. I am so hurt. I came home from church and the first thing I did was I looked up and said "God I am so sorry that your people act this way in your place of worship." I was truly hurt to the core.

[GitRDunn]

There are a few things to consider here. First, no church is perfect; you will find people in every church that you don't necessarily like a lot or who's actions you don't agree with, but as you said, there are "good" (quotes added because the others aren't necessarily bad) people as well. There might have been some hostility towards this new pastor being brought in, but maybe he will be great and after a little while everything will cool back down. You could always make an appointment to meet with him and discuss your misgivings. Another thing I will say is that if it is a large enough church (how big is big?), you couldn't really expect every single person to know your name.

You say you left the Baptist church because you didn't agree with a couple of things in their doctrine. How did you come to like Assembly of God churches? Would you be open to looking into other denominations? There are a lot of options out there. When you left the Baptist church, did you church shop a while and try out a lot of different denominations?

[mom_of_four]

There are a few things to consider here. First, no church is perfect; you will find people in every church that you don't necessarily like a lot or who's actions you don't agree with, but as you said, there are "good" (quotes added because the others aren't necessarily bad) people as well. There might have been some hostility towards this new pastor being brought in, but maybe he will be great and after a little while everything will cool back down. You could always make an appointment to meet with him and discuss your misgivings. Another thing I will say is that if it is a large enough church (how big is big?), you couldn't really expect every single person to know your name.

You say you left the Baptist church because you didn't agree with a couple of things in their doctrine. How did you come to like Assembly of God churches? Would you be open to looking into other denominations? There are a lot of options out there. When you left the Baptist church, did you church shop a while and try out a lot of different denominations?

You are right - this new pastor might turn out to be a big blessing to us all. I am hoping so. My real concern is not with him - my concern is with the reaction and hostility it has caused in the church. I am afraid that this has caused some hard feelings and there might be yet another church split (there has already been one when the old pastor left). As for how big the church is - It's a small church. There only only about 75 members. So, they should know my name by now!! It is not like it is a mega church that houses thousands. Now, as for how I became a member of the Assmbly of God - I met my husband in 2002 and he is a member of the Assembly of God. We would take turns on Sundays (while we were dating) visiting each others' churches. One Sunday, I would drive to his and attend there with him. And the next Sunday he would go to my church with me. After a few months of going with him, I realized that there were SO many verses in the Bible and so many teachings that the Baptist church had never preached on or taught. And i realized that the Assembly of God was more fitted for me. I just felt the spirit of God there. So, from then on, I started going with him every Sunday and then we got married in 2005 and I have been a member of the Assembly of God ever since. i would never feel at home in any other denomination - again no offense to any other denomination intended. So, I am back to the drawing board here. I think that we have decided to keep going to this church and see what happens after this new pastor has a few months underneath his belt. If there is still tension then after that amount of time, then it will be time to figure something else out.

[turtledove]

I read both your posts and have to agree that it is wise to stay put. Sort of ride it out and see how it goes. Obviously from what you have observed the leadership and even the entire congregation is in transition. There are usually tensions when this occurs so you could sense that (by the Holy Spirit giving you discernment). And because of the split even more so. Some may be yet embittered. Many are likely trying to adjust. Change can be very hard on people especially when there has been some kind of conflict which resulted in it.

Giving the new pastor a chance is a good thing..also lifting him and the other members, especially any in leadership, up in prayer especially now seems needed. There may be a big need for healing and God is in the business of doing that and repairing breaches.


Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.



Also, I think that your choice of "which AofG church" was made carefully with wisdom.

peace and blessings.

[svfox]

Satan is definitely having his way with countries all around the world in flooding them with false gospels.
And in other countries he is splitting churches apart at an alarming rate.
I have been watching Satan for a decade now to see what his next move will be.
Satan is using advances in technology to cause all kinds of new problems.
It isn't enough for Satan to keep people from becoming saved. He wants to do as much damage as he can.
The sad part is how many people are helping him without realizing they are.

[Bryan Durel]

sometimes its not the amount of the members attending the sermon but what is being said. its more important to me that i have a pastor who hears me and speaks to my heart and guides it rather than how many people are there. spirituality isn't facebook - its closer to your soul than that.