Good morning-moved from Intro

[Justin Roll]

My name is Justin and I am married to my childhood sweetheart. I have a question for everyone. My wife says "How can I Honor my parents when they abused me?" I tried to tell my wife that she has to honor them no matter what they did. Can someone, anyone tell me where to look in the bible to help my wife understand what God wants her to do?

[ChristianCoffee]

Good morning, Justin, and welcome here.

As to your question, I would honestly have to research it: I will try to contact you with more information later.

In Him,

CC

Romans 8:16

[quiet dove]

My name is Justin and I am married to my childhood sweetheart. I have a question for everyone. My wife says "How can I Honor my parents when they abused me?" I tried to tell my wife that she has to honor them no matter what they did. Can someone, anyone tell me where to look in the bible to help my wife understand what God wants her to do?

Hi Justin, welcome to the board.

I am going to move your question over to the "Families in Christ" forum, that way you will probably get more feed back with the regular members who frequent that forum...

[ronshua]

Greetings Justin Roll , here's a tad until someone gets back with you . I don't know your circumstances , any abuse is rude . I survived 10 years of my mother's second spouse & a half brother . Had God not surrounded me with a hedge as He did for Job , I would not be here to talk about it .


Ephesians 6

1 The children! obey your parents in the Lord, for this is righteous;

2 honour thy father and mother,

3 which is the first command with a promise, `That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live a long time upon the land.'

4 And the fathers! provoke not your children, but nourish them in the instruction and admonition of the Lord.

Young's Literal Translation (YLT)

[Justin Roll]

Thanks for all of your info. Now I have another question. What is the differentce between respect and honor?

[ronshua]

Greetings Justin Roll , the word " honor , honour " appears translated in 50 verses in the New Testament , while "respect" is present in 11 verses . I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box , so I'll let Brother Vine expound the difference .

Vine's Expository Dictionary of New Testament Words
Topic: Honor (Noun and Verb)
A-1,Noun,5092,time>
primarily "a valuing," hence, objectively, (a) "a price paid or received," e.g., Matt. 27:6,9; Acts 4:34; 5:2,3; 7:16, RV, "price" (AV, "sum"); Acts 19:19; 1 Cor. 6:20; 7:23; (b) of "the preciousness of Christ" unto believers, 1 Pet. 2:7, RV, i.e., the honor and inestimable value of Christ as appropriated by believers, who are joined, as living stones, to Him the cornerstone; (c) in the sense of value, of human ordinances, valueless against the indulgence of the flesh, or, perhaps of no value in attempts at asceticism, Col. 2:23 (see extended note under INDULGENCE, No. 2); (d) "honor, esteem," (1) used in ascriptions of worship to God, 1 Tim. 1:17; 6:16; Rev. 4:9,11; 5:13; 7:12; to Christ, Rev. 5:12,13; (2) bestowed upon Christ by the Father, Heb. 2:9; 2 Pet. 1:17; (3) bestowed upon man, Heb. 2:7; (4) bestowed upon Aaronic priests, Heb. 5:4; (5) to be the reward hereafter of "the proof of faith" on the part of tried saints, 1 Pet. 1:7, RV; (6) used of the believer who as a vessel is "meet for the Master's use," 2 Tim. 2:21; (7) to be the reward of patience in well-doing, Rom. 2:7, and of working good (a perfect life to which man cannot attain, so as to be justified before God thereby), Rom. 2:10; (8) to be given to all to whom it is due, Rom. 13:7 (see 1 Pet. 2:17, under B, No. 1); (9) as an advantage to be given by believers one to another instead of claiming it for self, Rom. 12:10; (10) to be given to elders that rule well ("double honor"), 1 Tim. 5:17 (here the meaning may be an honorarium); (11) to be given by servants to their master, 1 Tim. 6:1; (12) to be given to wives by husbands, 1 Pet. 3:7; (13) said of the husband's use of the wife, in contrast to the exercise of the passion of lust, 1 Thess. 4:4 (some regard the "vessel" here as the believer's body); (14) of that bestowed upon; parts of the body, 1 Cor. 12:23,24; (15) of that which belongs to the builder of a house in contrast to the house itself, Heb. 3:3; (16) of that which is not enjoyed by a prophet in his own country, John 4:44; (17) of that bestowed by the inhabitants of Melita upon Paul and his fellow-passengers, in gratitude for his benefits of healing, Acts 28:10; (18) of the festive honor to be possessed by nations, and brought into the Holy City, the heavenly Jerusalem, Rev. 21:26 (in some mss., ver. 24); (19) of honor bestowed upon things inanimate, a potters' vessel, Rom. 9:21; 2 Tim. 2:20. See PRECIOUSNESS, PRICE, SUM, VALUE.
Note: For entimos, "in honor," see HONORABLE, No. 2.

<A-2,Noun,1391,doxa>
"glory," is translated "honor" in the AV of John 5:41,44 (twice); 8:54: 2 Cor. 6:8; Rev. 19:7; the RV keeps to the word "glory," as the AV everywhere else. See GLORY.

<B-1,Verb,5091,timao>
"to honor" (akin to A, No. 1), is used of (a) valuing Christ at a price, Matt. 27:9, cp. A, No. 1, (a); (b) "honoring" a person: (1) the "honor" done by Christ to the Father, John 8:49; (2) "honor" bestowed by the Father upon him who serves Christ, John 12:26; (3) the duty of all to "honor" the Son equally with the Father, John 5:23; (4) the duty of children to "honor" their parents, Matt. 15:4; 19:19; Mark 7:10; 10:19; Luke 18:20; Eph. 6:2; (5) the duty of Christians to "honor" the king, and all men, 1 Pet. 2:17; (6) the respect and material assistance to be given to widows "that are widows indeed," 1 Tim. 5:3; (7) the "honor" done to Paul and his companions by the inhabitants of Melita, Acts 28:10; (8) mere lip profession of "honor" to God, Matt. 15:8; Mark 7:6.

<B-2,Verb,1392,doxazo>
"to glorify" (from doxa, A, No. 2), is rendered "honor" and "honoreth" in the AV of John 8:54; in 1 Cor. 12:26, however, in reference to the members of the body, both AV and RV have "honored" (RV marg., "glorified"). Everywhere else it is translated by some form of the verb "to glorify," "have glory," or "be made glorious," except in Rom. 11:13, "magnify," AV. See GLORIFY.

************************************************** **********************************
Topic: Respect (Noun and Verb)

<A-1,Noun,3313,meros>
"a part," has occasionally the meaning of "a class" or category," and, used in the dative case with en, "in," signifies "in respect of," 2 Cor. 3:10, "in (this) respect;" 2 Cor. 9:3, RV, AV, "in (this) behalf;" Col. 2:16, "in respect of (a feast day)."
<B-1,Verb,578,apoblepo>
"to look away from all else at one object" (apo, "from"), hence, "to look steadfastly," is translated "he had respect" in Heb. 11:26, AV (RV, "looked"). See LOOK.

<B-2,Verb,1914,epiblepo>
"to look upon" (epi), is translated "have respect" in Jas. 2:3 (RV "regard"); see LOOK, No. 6.

Notes: (1) The following prepositions are translated "in respect of:" peri, "concerning," in John 16:8, RV; epi, "upon, over," in Heb. 11:4, RV; marg., "over (his gifts);" kata, "in regard to," in Phil. 4:11. (2) For "respect of persons" and "respecter of persons" see PERSON.
************************************************** *****************************

Topic: Persons (respect of)

<A-1,Noun,4381,prosoplemptes>
denotes "a respecter of persons" (prosopon, "a face" or "person," lambano, "to lay hold of"), Acts 10:34.
<A-2,Noun,4382,prosopolempsia>
(in inferior texts without the letter m), denotes "respect of persons, partiality" (akin to No. 1), the fault of one who, when responsible to give judgment, has respect to the position, rank, popularity, or circumstances of men, instead of their intrinsic conditions, preferring the rich and powerful to those who are not so, Rom. 2:11; Eph. 6:9; Col. 3:25; Jas. 2:1.

<B-1,Verb,4380,prosopolempteo>
"to have respect of persons" (see ABOVE), occurs in Jas. 2:9.

<C-1,Adverb,678,aprosopolemptos>
without respect of persons, impartially (a, negative), occurs in 1 Pet. 1:17.

Peace .

[canvasjockey]

Welcome Justin!

Not sure the specifics of the situation other than past abuse, so this is a bit general.

My personal take has always been honoring your parents (in the case of grown children) is not the same as obeying, agreeing with or doing what they want. Honoring is about treating them with the dignity and respect they've earned at the very least for bringing you into this world (in most cases so much more) - irregardless of problems in the relationship. It's not about calling serious wrongs they’ve committed OK, however forgiving them would be honoring them, IMHO.

I do like this article on honoring your parents, it’s says it much better than I could…
http://www.stjohnsdover.org/050306.html

Maybe, if she hasn't already, your wife would benefit from some good Christian counseling to deal with her past abuse and parents?

[Justin Roll]

Thank you everyone. I have found the information that I need. CanvasJockey, I just want to say the BIG thank you because fo the link that you put here. You are an on this forum. Thanks CanvasJockey.

I just got word from my Pastor that I might be reading the sermon that CJ had posted here for us.

My wife and I got baptized at the church together and here is the website; http://www.amazingly-graced.com/

If anyone lives in or near Dade City, FL, please come out and join our Church in Dade City. God has changed our lives and God is requesting me to reach out to people in the city to come and join our Church.

Thank you and God Bless everyone of us.

[canvasjockey]

That's awesome! I'm glad I could be some help, I don't know a lot, but it touched me thinking about your poor wife struggling with the conflict of surviving abuse vs. the biblical concept of honoring one's parents.

I hope she's finding true peace and able to rise above her past with God's help, it sounds like she's on the right path with a supportive, loving husband and a godly congregation surrounding her!