Something about my parents troubling me lately. Please help!

[Athanasius]

I don't know if you explained clearly enough how I am so dumb, but you did a suitable job.

In my dumbness, I also acknowledge that some states actually use the phrase "living together as if they were married."

In the bible times, there were no actual last names. Whether or not people were married is a matter of them announcing it and living together as husband and wife. In our society - the one where we baby boomers grew up - the wife assuming the last name was THE indication as well as the ring on their fingers.

Since I live in a "Western Nation" where that was the norm, I will naturally perceive things that way.

I guess that is why I am so dumb.

He didn't say you were dumb, and the worst that you are is ignorant. Quebec, for instance, does not allow wives to take the last name of their husbands (ever since 1982), and will even reverse name-changes as a result of marriage if you move there and were married subsequent to 1982.

[Warrior4God]

I don't know if you explained clearly enough how I am so dumb, but you did a suitable job.

In my dumbness, I also acknowledge that some states actually use the phrase "living together as if they were married."

In the bible times, there were no actual last names. Whether or not people were married is a matter of them announcing it and living together as husband and wife. In our society - the one where we baby boomers grew up - the wife assuming the last name was THE indication as well as the ring on their fingers.

Since I live in a "Western Nation" where that was the norm, I will naturally perceive things that way.

I guess that is why I am so dumb.

I didn't indicate you were "dumb." You just grew up in an era and culture where it was the norm, and it still mostly is, by the way, where the wife assumes her husband's last name. But, like I pointed out, it's a cultural and custom thing, not a biblical mandate.

[Warrior4God]

He didn't say you were dumb, and the worst that you are is ignorant. Quebec, for instance, does not allow wives to take the last name of their husbands (ever since 1982), and will even reverse name-changes as a result of marriage if you move there and were married subsequent to 1982.

Interesting. I definitely learned something new today.

[Athanasius]

Interesting. I definitely learned something new today.

Quebec is by-and-large a bastion of idiocy and nonsense. Unless you want to make your life needlessly difficult, don't ever move there.

[XYZ]

My mom and stepdad have been committed to, and living with, each other for roughly 22 years.

"Committed to" certainly sounds like "commitment" to me. And "License" does not sound like "marriage." It is possible you are confusing "marriage" with "wedding." a twenty-two year commitment raising a child with love, and devotion one to another, is a marriage, almost made in heaven. The only reason it is not "made in heaven" is because we are all still on earth, but it certainly sounds like the prototype God would use to show others as example.

I think you are alarmed unnecessarily, probably over something some preacher has said over the years. God's law says we are to obey authorities, which not only condone committed living together, but provides protection under law if a third party tries to interfere with the "committed" marriage.

Tell me dear bible reader, who performed the ceremony for Adam and Eve? Marriage is much more than a piece of paper and a ceremony. it is precisely "a twenty-two year commitment raising a child with love, and devotion one to another."

As far as I know it, they are determined to be faithful and loving to each other until death do them part, the relationship has been blessed by numerous priests before, and at least a few family members on both sides, including my aunt, even see my mom and stepdad as husband and wife.

I think sometimes we (as in "not you only") tend to judge the previous generation according to our own times. Just because we overlap our life with others, does not imply we are as knowledgeable as they are about their own circumstances.

If I had your problem, I would be praying to God thanking Him for providing such wonderful parents, not asking Him to forgive their "marriage."

And if they do get a marriage license, I would lose my disability benefits.

Looks to me like they had your best interests at heart all the time. Stop worrying, they both love you and are committed to your best interests. And they are as committed to God as any Christian "church blessed marriage" I have ever heard of.

There are even people in churches that say "going before a judge" is not a marriage, because it has to be a ceremony before a priest and witnesses. I have known people to join a church and be "remarried" because of the mores of the group to thich they had joind themselves. They just did not accept anyone's concept of marriage but their own preacher.

As for communicating with the deceased, The only case I know of from scripture was when Samuel the prophet died, and king Saul went o the witch of Endor to bring him up for a consultation about going to war with an enemy. The witch did her witch-thing, and when the real Samuel came up, she was terrified out of her skull, because she knew that seances are a result of Satan sending counterfeit spirits to convince the living of what is not true.

Dreams are not only "just dreams," they can be really frightening sometimes, because of what we have been told by others, not because of what we know. Much of "what we know" is really just "what we have been told and did not know how to respond." Sometimes years later it will return in memory as though it represents truth, when it does not, it is only superstition, and everyone knows superstition can rule the night, and ruin the day.

No, dear brother, you should not be alarmed or ashamed of two wonderful parents, you should be proud of a real marrriage in your family history, patterned after Adam and Eve's.

[Boo]

There can be a test of the content of their hearts and the reasons for not getting the paper documentation for the commitment.

When they file their taxes, do they claim "married" or do they claim "single?"

If their status, unmarried, is for the purpose of reducing their taxes or increasing social security benefits; perhaps they should look at the intent of their relationship.

God sees the heart, which indeed may not reflect legal paperwork, but the heart can be visible to others as well. One could say that their relationship is established to lie about their commitment for personal benefit which may not be legal.

I'm face with this same question with my parents right now. Their behavior teaches the younger generation by example. Should we not be worried about that?

[XYZ]

There can be a test of the content of their hearts and the reasons for not getting the paper documentation for the commitment.

When they file their taxes, do they claim "married" or do they claim "single?"

If their status, unmarried, is for the purpose of reducing their taxes or increasing social security benefits; perhaps they should look at the intent of their relationship.

God sees the heart, which indeed may not reflect legal paperwork, but the heart can be visible to others as well. One could say that their relationship is established to lie about their commitment for personal benefit which may not be legal.

I'm face with this same question with my parents right now. Their behavior teaches the younger generation by example. Should we not be worried about that?

Concerned as to righteousness? Probably.

Worried? Probably not.

The fact you question it shows that you are not simply doing the same and blaming them for their influence.

[Boo]

Concerned as to righteousness? Probably.

Worried? Probably not.

The fact you question it shows that you are not simply doing the same and blaming them for their influence.

Oh, I do understand why they are doing it. It is as if the government programs of Social Security and taxes pays them to just live together.

I am not fully confident of how God would see it, yet I am concerned about how many young people are doing it. When they do it, we call it "living in sin." When my "parents" do it, shall we call it something else?

[Warrior4God]

Oh, I do understand why they are doing it. It is as if the government programs of Social Security and taxes pays them to just live together.

I am not fully confident of how God would see it, yet I am concerned about how many young people are doing it. When they do it, we call it "living in sin." When my "parents" do it, shall we call it something else?

I think the government, even if it's not their intention, encourages folks, in some situations, to shack up, rather than legally get married. If they would stop penalizing older folks on Social Security, for instance, for either getting or being married, then, maybe more folks would actually do the right thing. When you get penalized for doing the right thing, there's less incentive to do the right thing. Crazy, I know.

[Boo]

I think the government, even if it's not their intention, encourages folks, in some situations, to shack up, rather than legally get married. If they would stop penalizing older folks on Social Security, for instance, for either getting or being married, then, maybe more folks would actually do the right thing. When you get penalized for doing the right thing, there's less incentive to do the right thing. Crazy, I know.

And that is EXACTLY the issue that my Dad is facing. Choosing to do what God wants (or our interpretation of what God would want) when it cuts your retirement funds drastically can be difficult.