Is this pathetic?

[Punchy]

Is it pathetic that I pray for friends and for a girlfriend? I moved to a new city 3 years ago and I don't really have a social life. I've been praying for friends for a long time... and still haven't found any. It seems pathetic because I ask God to do these things for me because I have a hard time doing it myself. And I have never had an actual girlfriend before... I'm not ugly at all, I just have never found a girlfriend.

This just seems so pathetic to me... normal people don't have trouble with the things i've talked about here.

[jayne]

It is most certainly NOT pathetic to pray for a girlfriend, wife, or mate. We were created male and female. Both of us possess unique abilities and characteristics that God said was good.

God said that Adam being alone was not good.

It's natural, normal, and healthy for you to want a girlfriend and to pray to God about it. He's the best one to talk to. He created the first woman for the first man.

Perhaps we would talk about what to pray for and how to pray for a mate. Pray to God to make you ready for her. Pray to God to make her ready for you.

[ChristianCoffee]

Is it pathetic that I pray for friends and for a girlfriend? I moved to a new city 3 years ago and I don't really have a social life. I've been praying for friends for a long time... and still haven't found any. It seems pathetic because I ask God to do these things for me because I have a hard time doing it myself. And I have never had an actual girlfriend before... I'm not ugly at all, I just have never found a girlfriend.

This just seems so pathetic to me... normal people don't have trouble with the things i've talked about here.

I do.

I will firstly admit I am married to the most wonderful woman God could have created for me. But as to friends....

I have very few of those: though I have "friends" from church and work, I have maybe 2-3 people outside of my family that I even remotely get together with. And I do pray for friends as well: friends that will edify me, and that I can in turn edify.

I will pray for you, my brother. I will because I understand what you are saying.

In Him,

CC

Romans 8:16

[Slug1]

Is it pathetic that I pray for friends and for a girlfriend? I moved to a new city 3 years ago and I don't really have a social life. I've been praying for friends for a long time... and still haven't found any. It seems pathetic because I ask God to do these things for me because I have a hard time doing it myself. And I have never had an actual girlfriend before... I'm not ugly at all, I just have never found a girlfriend.

This just seems so pathetic to me... normal people don't have trouble with the things i've talked about here.

Have you asked God to show you what may need to change in "you" so then friendships can begin?

[Punchy]

Have you asked God to show you what may need to change in "you" so then friendships can begin?

No.. but then again I don't think things need to change. I'm already a nice and am somewhat approachable. I'm an easy person to talk to... I just have trouble making and keeping friends.

[Slug1]

No.. but then again I don't think things need to change. I'm already a nice and am somewhat approachable. I'm an easy person to talk to... I just have trouble making and keeping friends.

From experience... and I don't want this to be taken in a negative way. When a person acts one way with some people and another with other people, then people will discover they really don't know who they are with. Does that make sense?

I've known people like this... they were one way with me, and another way with others... so who was "I" a friend with?

I didn't want to be their friend because basically, they were masking themselves and to me, this means the friendship had no real value because I didn't know who they really were and they didn't plan to allow me to know the real "them".

Now, this may be a million miles off of your situation but if you are as you described... approachable is ONE thing, friendship is MORE about what is BEYOND that initial approach has been completed.

[Punchy]

From experience... and I don't want this to be taken in a negative way. When a person acts one way with some people and another with other people, then people will discover they really don't know who they are with. Does that make sense?

I've known people like this... they were one way with me, and another way with others... so who was "I" a friend with?

I didn't want to be their friend because basically, they were masking themselves and to me, this means the friendship had no real value because I didn't know who they really were and they didn't plan to allow me to know the real "them".

Now, this may be a million miles off of your situation but if you are as you described... approachable is ONE thing, friendship is MORE about what is BEYOND that initial approach has been completed.

Where did you get that I'm being fake? I'm not trying to be one way to a person and be a totally different person to somebody else. I just wanted to know if I am pathetic for praying to God for friends or a girlfriend.

[Slug1]

Where did you get that I'm being fake? I'm not trying to be one way to a person and be a totally different person to somebody else. I just wanted to know if I am pathetic for praying to God for friends or a girlfriend.

I did say not to take this negatively as I described my experiences. I said I may be off by a million miles and based on your reaction, I am. So if you are offended and despite my attempt to inform you my post was based on "my" experiences, I'm sorry! I'm not calling you fake at all.

OK... focusing on if it's pathetic to pray for friends... no it's not. Is this how the Holy Spirit is leading you to pray?

[Punchy]

Well... not sure if the Holy Sprirt is leading me to pray for friends. I pray for friends because of the lack thereof.

[Slug1]

Well... not sure if the Holy Sprirt is leading me to pray for friends. I pray for friends because of the lack thereof.

Have you fasted and petition God about this?

What I mean is, if you are praying for friends and some have come but left... God may have answered and once they entered your life, the prayer WAS answered. Only from that point on, it's up to you to nurture the friendship?

Maybe the prayers should be about developing friendship?

[Lexie]

I feel certain that I am much older than you (54) but I also have a problem developing meaningful friendships. And some of the ones I have had for years have disappeared recently for reasons I do not understand. I sometimes feel that I care for friends more than they care for me and that makes me sad. I wonder if I just do not communicate those feelings well. As a woman I envy other women who seem to have "best friends" to do everything with. I haven't experienced that as an adult. I am married but as a woman would appreciate a good female friend. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, too and will pray for you!

[Punchy]

Have you fasted and petition God about this?

What I mean is, if you are praying for friends and some have come but left... God may have answered and once they entered your life, the prayer WAS answered. Only from that point on, it's up to you to nurture the friendship?

Maybe the prayers should be about developing friendship?

I never thought about that before. Maybe I should pray more for developing friendships... I have some people at work that I would like to become friends with ( there are only 6 of us ), but they hardly ever talk to me... and that bothers me. I just want to be in the circle.

I feel certain that I am much older than you (54) but I also have a problem developing meaningful friendships. And some of the ones I have had for years have disappeared recently for reasons I do not understand. I sometimes feel that I care for friends more than they care for me and that makes me sad. I wonder if I just do not communicate those feelings well. As a woman I envy other women who seem to have "best friends" to do everything with. I haven't experienced that as an adult. I am married but as a woman would appreciate a good female friend. I'm sorry you're feeling lonely, too and will pray for you!

It's good to know i'm not alone. Thank you everybody for you responses and prayers.

[claybevan]

Pray for all things!!! you keep on praying the Lord loves to give us the desires of our heart and he WILL deliver and he only delivers the best! but pray also that you will recognise his answer and have the courage to reach out, it's hard I know but I have learnt that we need to step out in faith sometimes to release the answer to our prayers, keep looking up and go for it, he's alway with you and besides life's to short not too. Let us know how things are going, and I'll put a pennies worth up for you too.

[turtledove]

Is it pathetic that I pray for friends and for a girlfriend? I moved to a new city 3 years ago and I don't really have a social life. I've been praying for friends for a long time... and still haven't found any. It seems pathetic because I ask God to do these things for me because I have a hard time doing it myself. And I have never had an actual girlfriend before... I'm not ugly at all, I just have never found a girlfriend.

This just seems so pathetic to me... normal people don't have trouble with the things i've talked about here.

Yes, by all means we should lift up all our needs to the Lord who sorts it all out and has good plans for us.

He is there to listen, not judge us.
(see the bible quote in my signature below)