Originally Posted by
TRAVlS
This is something that has been a big struggle for me ever since I was in school. Not feeling confident, feeling less important compared to others, worrying about what people think about me, are a few of the feelings and thoughts that run through my mind. I wanted to get some thoughts and opinions on "self worth".
You're actually talking about two things here. How you see yourself internally and how others see you. Many of these replies spoke to dealing with how others see you and blowing that off. But it's much harder to overcome when the thoughts are generated from inside by lie-based thinking. I'm a facilitator for Theophostic Prayer Ministry and this is something I deal with often. As children, we don't have the maturity yet to understand events outside ourselves. So if mommy/daddy is upset with us all the time, we can only figure it's our fault. We can begin to believe we are unworthy, no good, unlovable, etc and etc because we just can't see it otherwise yet. If those kinds of lies develop, they tend to become the basis that we go forward in life upon. Due to association, each time something similar happens again in life, the brain associates to the first time it dealt with this and determines reaction/thought from that place. Now if that place is a lie, then our reactions are often out of place. Now when we reach adulthood, we have adult understanding and our reactions don't make sense, and don't match our current understanding. For example, your spouse gets mad at you over something you know is their fault but yet you still feel unworthy. Makes no sense, double-minded. But yet, no matter how much more scripture you soak up, you find yourself still reacting this way and feeling these thoughts. That's lie based belief deep inside playing itself out into your life. I have learned in doing this ministry that God so has a heart to get that stuff out of us and replace it with truth. There are many paths to that healing. For some, Christ heals it quickly in sanctification. Others have to have someone guide them into the lies and expose them. We each receive truth differently. The ultimate goal of Theophostic is to expose the lie and then offer it to Jesus to give truth. He delivers everytime. Then when we return to the memory we find everything is still the same as far as event, but the beliefs and feelings we had about the events have changed as they are seen in God's truth. Like many said above, God is very concerned with identity. About getting the stains of the world, society, family, peers etc off of us and showing us who we truly are in Him. So if you feel this is something you have been seeking healing from and you still find yourself double-minded although you clearly know the truth, you may consider working with someone for some targeted healing.
Sometimes as I'm struggling with this, I think to myself, "This life isn't about me, its about glorifying God and living for him". But also on the other hand, I want to know who I am in Christ and know that I am loved and not feel insecure anymore. I let these feelings hold me back a lot. I avoid a lot of situations because they make me uncomfortable and struggle with the situations which I can't avoid like going to work.
A ton of our strength and fortitude is derived from our identity. If our identity is insecure, we find ourselves the same way. This is one of the things Satan attacked in the garden. Adam was not yet formed when God said let us make man in our image, because if him and Eve had heard that, then Satan's tempting to become like God might not have been quite as enticing. God is just pounding me with this truth at this season in my life so I'm filled with passion for this subject currently. Gen 1:26 says your made in God's image. He's never changed that opinion. The fall brought sin into the world and we are all born into that Adamic race. But just as sin entered humanity through one man Adam, it has been removed by one man, Christ Jesus. All of us who are in Christ Jesus are new creations. Restored to original identity. Problem is we are still clinging on to all this stuff that is not truly us. Lie based thinking and identity we have taken on ourselves that is untrue. The renewing of our mind is God's way of cleaning that up. Setting our minds upon heavenly things (God's truth about us) and not on earthly things (lies, peer pressure, keeping up with the Jones', what's cool this week and on and on and on). It's like going to wash a pig off to discover after all the crap is removed that it wasn't a pig, it was a peacock. We don't really understand who we are in Christ and how God sees us. We tell each other all the time but we struggle to own it. We're servants, friends, brothers, sons, heirs, the body, etc. That's how God sees us. But yet we try to argue with him and tell him all the things wrong with us and he just says that's admirable that you own that, but that's still not what I say about you. One of my absolute favorite things God has shown me lately, and it's pure speculation, but it really makes sense, is that before God created the world, he knew he was going to step down into this world and live as a man. So if you have the option of creating the vessel you are going to live in (not just for 33 years) how will you create that vessel? Of course you are going to create something you would be comfortable in. Holy Spirit and Jesus live in and through us in interacting with this world. They are still man in many ways. They are you. Do you think you were designed in a way that they hate being within you? That alone should speak to your worth in God's eyes. As someone said, ask God to begin revealing to you how HE SEES YOU, and hold on for the ride!
Anyone else struggle with low self worth (low self esteem)? I used to a lot. I thought I was a monster and wasn't worth anything in this life because of past sins and pain/hurt I caused others. I sabotaged my life to try to pay for my debts. I've been healed of a ton of that. Theophostic, bible study, often in worship God just breaks something because I've been seeking him diligently, and sometimes for no discernible reason, epiphanies hit and healing happens.
How important is it to feel good about yourself? I think this is huge! Back to the identity. One of the things I'm really working out right now is how we take on the identity of sinner. Now I'm a sinner in the fact I sin, like I'm a runner, because I run. But it's not my identity. My identity is Gen 1:26 because I am in Christ. And I'm sure there's a ton more I can point to in the NT scripture that say who I am in Christ. But I did a recent search and I can't find any that say my identity is still sinner. Now Romans 5, 6, 7, 8 speaks all about does this mean we can sin willy-nilly because God doesn't see us as sinner? Well of course not. But I am finding it easier not to sin, not based on trying to obey God's commands, but in seeing my value in God's eyes. The more I see myself as God sees me, the less I want to sin. I'm worth more than that! Rom 8:2 speaks of the law of the Spirit freeing me from the law of sin and death. I never got that until recently when someone put it into a different frame for me. A jumbo jet should have no business flying in the air. With the weight of all that metal, the law of gravity says no way it should get off the ground. Yet thrust, lift, etc and up go those massive planes and defy gravity. The law of sin and death says no way we should not sin, yet the gospel speaks of freedom in Christ. Christ often said to those he healed, now go and sin no more. Why would he command someone that if it's impossible? I'll be honest, I'm still pulling all that together into experiential knowledge, but it's there. So I'm beginning to understand it's crucial to feel good about yourself. But in an understanding of why. Someone quoted "Love your neighbor as I have loved you" or in one gospel it says "as yourself". Another context to put that into is that we reflect God's love. We can only love our neighbor truly as well as we understand how much God loves us. It is God pouring his love and adoration upon us that we receive, that enables us to reflect that love onto others. Have you ever seen a parent holding their child and just adoring them? Have you ever felt that kind of adoration from God? When God's truth replaces the lies about your worth, then we begin to deeply understand the depth of God's love for us. God will always elevate that depth of understanding to that's how not only he sees you, but others too. Then the ability to love others as ourselves or as he has loved us begins to grow into an executable reality. But this feeling good about yourself has to be a reflection of how God sees you. If it comes from your own abilities and talents and ego, it's not of God, it's of self. So in that, "self worth" is not something you create or manifest. It's something you receive and then share!
How do you overcome this struggle?
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