I don't want to live anymore

[Punchy]

I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live. I've been through so much in just 7 years... I wouldn't wish what i've been through on anybody. I'm incredibly unhappy right now. I've given up and i'
ve lost the will to live and fight. God doesn't answer my prayers and that's what gets me the most, because only he can deliver me and I need him, but it just seems like he doesn't care AT ALL. I just don't understand why he has let the things that have happened to me happen. I just don't know what to do... I have no more fight in me.

[Dani H]

You seem depressed and I do understand what that feels like. I'm praying for you!

[Vanderhoven7]

Suggestion: Google Merlin Carothers (author of "From Prison to Praise")...get alone with one of his books and you will love life again.

God's plans for you are far better than you can ask or think.

[Punchy]

You seem depressed and I do understand what that feels like. I'm praying for you!

Dani don't bother praying... alot of people have said that they will pray for me but nothing has changed.

[Scooby_Snacks]

Hi Punchy,

Praying for restored hope....

I have had the same feelings before. They did pass, but that didn't make my situation change. Its good to be honest with God, no matter what. I have pounded on His door for a piece of bread in the middle of the night, feeling as if I were a complete stranger.

The truth is He calls us friend. So somewhere in the midst of frustration, believe in His power to comfort, understand everything about you, have genuine long suffering love toward you, and knowledge of all that concerns you.

Psalm 42

[Dani H]

Dani don't bother praying... alot of people have said that they will pray for me but nothing has changed.

So? If I want to pray for someone, I do so. You don't get to control who I pray for. Besides you're family and so that's my job. Bear one another's burdens and all that.

[Diggindeeper]

I'm moving this to Counseling Requests where it can receive more attention and suggestions.

Carry on your replies, please.

[Indueseason]

Brother, you know I pray for you every day, and I know your struggles, I'm sorry your feeling so down right now. It's seems like these down times come around every couple of months,then you turn your attention back to God, and things get a little bit more manageable again. Please know I say this in love brother, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, that attitude is what's bringing you down. You need to focus on the positive, the blessings. I know that's hard when your depressed, so the best thing to do is to focus on Jesus.

I know your life isn't the way you would like it to be, mines isn't that way either, but I know that things could be much worse, and that the Lord is my strength. The bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength. When we walk through the valley, we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, His love and His promises, then we won't get so depressed. The problem you have, is that you can't do that, because you've decided to blame Him for everything bad in your life.

You need to decide what you believe, the word of God, or the negative thoughts going through your head. Jesus said that in this life we would suffer tribulation, but to rejoice, because He has overcome the world!We're told to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding. That everything works together for our good. Can you believe this, and stand in faith with patience? He has plans for your life, and He loves you brother, don't just take my word for it, seek Him and let Him show you.

prayers and blessings to you

[Punchy]

Brother, you know I pray for you every day, and I know your struggles, I'm sorry your feeling so down right now. It's seems like these down times come around every couple of months,then you turn your attention back to God, and things get a little bit more manageable again. Please know I say this in love brother, but you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, that attitude is what's bringing you down. You need to focus on the positive, the blessings. I know that's hard when your depressed, so the best thing to do is to focus on Jesus.

I know your life isn't the way you would like it to be, mines isn't that way either, but I know that things could be much worse, and that the Lord is my strength. The bible says that the joy of the Lord is our strength. When we walk through the valley, we need to keep our eyes on Jesus, His love and His promises, then we won't get so depressed. The problem you have, is that you can't do that, because you've decided to blame Him for everything bad in your life.

You need to decide what you believe, the word of God, or the negative thoughts going through your head. Jesus said that in this life we would suffer tribulation, but to rejoice, because He has overcome the world!We're told to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding. That everything works together for our good. Can you believe this, and stand in faith with patience? He has plans for your life, and He loves you brother, don't just take my word for it, seek Him and let Him show you.

prayers and blessings to you

Indueseason, I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. I've told you what I'm going through in the past and I know youm understand where i'm coming from. But i'm afraid i've lost the person God made me to be. I used to be a fun, funny guy and my mental illness stole that from me... and it breaks my heart because I don't know if i'll be able to return back to that person.

[Slug1]

I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live. I've been through so much in just 7 years... I wouldn't wish what i've been through on anybody. I'm incredibly unhappy right now. I've given up and i'
ve lost the will to live and fight. God doesn't answer my prayers and that's what gets me the most, because only he can deliver me and I need him, but it just seems like he doesn't care AT ALL. I just don't understand why he has let the things that have happened to me happen. I just don't know what to do... I have no more fight in me.

Hey Punchy, I watched this the other day and in seeing this thread, thought of all you expressed... it will be worth watching.

It's called, "A time for Logic and a time for Faith"

I always watch this dude's podcasts for Photography and Photoshop tips/techniques but in viewing this cast... wow!

IMPORTANT NOTICE: No media files are hosted on these forums. By clicking the link below you agree to view content from an external website. We can not be held responsible for the suitability or legality of this material. If the video does not play, wait a minute or try again later.

[Indueseason]

Indueseason, I'm trying to stay positive, but it's hard. I've told you what I'm going through in the past and I know youm understand where i'm coming from. But i'm afraid i've lost the person God made me to be. I used to be a fun, funny guy and my mental illness stole that from me... and it breaks my heart because I don't know if i'll be able to return back to that person.

I know at the moment your illness seems huge and overpowering, and I can relate to the feeling of losing yourself in the midst of illness, but you are not your illness! You are still that fun guy, but your illness stops you from being yourself. Don't give your illness power it doesn't have. It can't steal who you are, it can only make it harder to let your true self shine. I know you have dreams, and things you want to do, and I know how frustrating it is to be stopped by illness, from doing things, but somehow you need to keep trusting God. You need to believe that the Lord will not leave you in this valley your in. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!

blessings to you

[andrew_no_one]

Hey buddy. I’m sorry that you’re feeling down. To be honest, it happens to most of us from time to time. One thing that you can be sure of though if that you can’t trust the way you feel about things but always instead trust what you read in God’s Word. There is a lot of uncertainly in life outside of Christ and that’s why we are to stay focused on Him.
Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Isaiah 26:3
Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.

[Dani H]

A very close dear sistergirl of mine has struggled with mental illness for a number of years.

We had a heart to heart lately and I asked her "Do you consider this thing a blessing or a curse?"

Her words: "A blessing because it's forced me to take better care of myself and find balance in my life."

I don't know if that helps you any but I just thought I'd share that with you. God doesn't make mistakes, Punchy. He really just doesn't. Nothing about you is a mistake, or a fluke. Trust God to bring something amazing from your trials. We all have our own to deal with and there's always going to be times when it seems to be too much to bear. But I'm going to just tell you with everything in me that you can trust God. With everything. Because who you truly are as a person, is hidden in Him and He knows how to protect it. Trust God with you. God doesn't lose people. Okay? He's never sat back and scratched His head and asked Himself "Now, where did I put that Punchy?" You didn't slip away unnoticed, you didn't fall off a steep cliff into some abyss away from God's grip. Nobody does. It can't happen.

We may feel like we lose ourselves, but our Father has never lost anyone. He knows exactly who and what He has made us, and we can trust Him to preserve us.

[Raybob]

...You need to decide what you believe, the word of God, or the negative thoughts going through your head. Jesus said that in this life we would suffer tribulation, but to rejoice, because He has overcome the world!We're told to trust in the Lord with all our heart, and lean not on our own understanding. That everything works together for our good. Can you believe this, and stand in faith with patience? He has plans for your life, and He loves you brother, don't just take my word for it, seek Him and let Him show you.

prayers and blessings to you

Amen. There is a reason for everything. Jesus said He leaves us the spirit of truth (Holy Spirit) to guide us in all things. It's time to pray often when tempted to follow the spirit of error and to always follow the spirit of truth. Have faith in His promises to always provide for you and your 'kingdom' as you always live for His kingdom.

And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever; Even the Spirit of truth; whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him: but ye know him; for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. I will not leave you comfortless: I will come to you.
(Joh 14:16-18)

[Doug]

I'm not suicidal, I just don't want to live. I've been through so much in just 7 years... I wouldn't wish what i've been through on anybody. I'm incredibly unhappy right now. I've given up and i'
ve lost the will to live and fight. God doesn't answer my prayers and that's what gets me the most, because only he can deliver me and I need him, but it just seems like he doesn't care AT ALL. I just don't understand why he has let the things that have happened to me happen. I just don't know what to do... I have no more fight in me.

Hey brother, please read what I have below. It's a testimony that is 100% true, and I think it will help you.

I know how it feels for everything in your life to go the opposite of how you planned or wanted. I'm going through a valley with God as we speak where he gave me a vision and a promise of what is to come in my life. It seemed like after he spoke to my heart he let everything go in the complete opposite direction. I started trying harder and harder to MAKE the things happen that he promised. As you can imagine, my efforts yielded no results. I ended up more frustrated than when I began. But then the funniest thing happened, I started letting go. And the funniest part is, that was part of the command the Lord spoke to my heart- LET GO. I soon realized it didn't mean let go of hope, or faith or love or anything... but rather to let go of my own desires and expectation. To completely submit to God's way for my life... not my own. Now I think it's only fair to tell you, this road I took wasn't easy. I struggled with the basics of this concept for about 3 months straight. But after a while you just realize that trying harder and harder to do what only God can allow to happen, just becomes frustrating. Brother, I'm not assuming you don't read the Bible, but take some time out of each day and really analyze how our Lord works... the book of James tells us to REJOICE when we face trials of many kinds- because the testing of our faith builds perseverance. Perseverance (or patience) makes us WHOLE- not lacking anything. You don't have to have the mindset that you do. Negativity, pessimism, lack of faith, impatience, that's exactly what Satan wants (Again, I'm not assuming anything about you, only responding to your posts above).

So to get back to my story, after a while of trying to make my own life work out, I gave in and softened my heart. Allowed Jesus to do some much needed pruning to my character. Started studying the Bible everyday, and actually making an effort to apply it's teachings in my life. I literally just learned how to LOVE people. Not just my family, or friends or romantic interests, but EVERYONE! I started feeling a lot more in tune with what God expected from me, and felt good about it too. I also started letting the Holy Spirit guide me more. Praying to God to make me more sensitive to that still small voice.

Now, my testimony I promised you-

One day while I was at work I felt attacked by negative feelings and it took an emotional toll. I thought I was doing well in the Lord, but I kept hearing those negative voices in my head. God had given me a promise, but told me I wasn't ready. I'm still going through this time of waiting and having patience and faith, but every once in a while those voices inevitably come back saying the usual- "You aren't good enough." "What God promised will never happen, it's impossible." "Give up, get on with your life." I really had to fight to get this to stop, but I picked up a Bible and stumbled across the verse Philippians 4:6-7, which reads- "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." This verse really hit me hard. So, I did exactly as it instructed me to. I was walking outside later that night, and it just starts POURING DOWN RAIN. I pulled out my iPhone, and checked the weather app, and it said that it was supposed to rain all throughout the night, into the morning and throughout the day. It had a 90% chance of HEAVY THUNDERSTORMS for the next few days. Not cloudy, not scattered storms, but heavy downpours. As the rain is coming down, I just started speaking to the Lord. Even though in my eyes everything seemed to be going the opposite direction than I was comfortable with, I just started praising Him. Thanking Him for his grace and mercy. Telling Him that I love Him. Then I did something that a lot of people wouldn't be bold enough to do. I had faith in what he told me, and I wasn't going to give up on Him... He has never given up on me. So, as this rain is coming down hard, I asked God to just let me know that I was still heading in the right direction. If all that he had promised was still in His plan, and if I still had his anointing for the things he had promised me. I asked God that if these things were still true, if I was moving in the right direction of HIS plan, and if one day I would still see the promises He gave- to let the sun be shining when I woke up the next morning.

There's something about faith, brother, that you have to understand. The Bible doesn't say that faith is hope, in fact, it separates HOPE, FAITH, and LOVE entirely. The book of Hebrews says that faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see. When you come to a place where you feel like you can't go on, you feel like it's all over, defeated, and you're just about ready to throw in the towel- but you stop and just praise God in the middle of it, because you KNOW he can and will work it out... God smiles upon that.

So to continue my story, I had done something that was very bold. I asked God to change the weather just for me. Just as a sign that I still had his favor. So, the next morning, I wake up. Go to the bathroom, and walk up to the window (which was completely covered by the blinds). And when I pulled back the blinds, I WAS BLINDED!!!!! In my backyard, there are two enormous trees that block my left and right view. But right in between those trees, was the biggest, brightest sun I had ever seen. I looked down at the ground and the dew from the grass looked like it was turning into steam before my very eyes. I mean what are the odds? My view of the sun could have been blocked by either one of those trees, but God put it right there- front and center.

I realize this seems exaggerated, and possibly far fetched, but I hope you can believe this, brother. Our God is ABLE. Don't ever let the Devil lie to you and tell you that it's over. It isn't over until GOD says it's over. I'm praying for you, and you have people on this earth that love you. Your burden is my burden. I felt very compelled to share this with you because personal testimonies are very encouraging to people like us- people that are waiting on the Lord and putting all our trust in Him.

I won't sugarcoat it, there will come times when you want to give up. When it seems hopeless and defeat is upon you. You're going to want to throw in the towel every now and again. Whenever it gets like that, I just want you to speak to the Lord. He's listening. You don't even have to say anything elaborate or profound... if you don't know what to say just say JESUS.

Blessings to you on this journey that we call life. One day we will kneel before the throne and hopefully God will say "Well done." But until then, WE have to keep fighting, and trusting Him. He won't allow those that trust in Him to be disgraced.

Keep pushing.