I really enjoy apologetics. It's shown me that there's good reason to believe in God and has helped rebuild my faith. I never knew it existed until late last year and I'm very happy I did discover it. I don't want to say it's my calling, but it's something I wouldn't mind pursuing in my ministry.

There are however, two main obstacles stopping me from fully engaging in it. First of all apologetics often deals with non-Christians in science and philosophy. And these people can come up with really good scientific and philosophical arguments that could cast doubt on one or more of the lines of reasoning that I've learned of so far. I suppose my biggest fear when venturing to websites and articles that aren't written by Christians is that they're going to have something that straight up disproves the possibility of God - or at least, casts considerable doubt. Most of my learning about apologetics and science have been from sites built explicitly for Christians.

Most science does tend to be neutral concerning God. It's not really a threat to my faith. I think it's when they start talking about things like the origin of the universe that the danger appears.

I think part of this problem involves when people I'm talking to say stuff that I haven't heard of before. They say something so complex that it blows me out of the water, and it seems they have disproved my line of reasoning for God. And of course, I'm afraid to venture on Google and look it up, lest I find even more that agrees with them.

Second, I don't handle antagonism very well. I guess it upsets me or something. When someone writes or talks to me in an obviously sarcastic or rude way, I guess it gets to me. I take the hatred more personally than I should. It would be wise for me to remember, their hatred is not toward me but toward Christ.

Any advise would be appreciated.