Okay this might not seem that huge but..
My Biggest problem is that I'm very over Analytic and Evidence based thinker blah blah all that good stuff..
Well The biggest thing that lead me to find God is this girl(Who is my girlfriend)
When i was 4 she was 6(May seem really young and unlikely) was the first time i met her and that day i told my mom i was going to marry her..
Well i vowed to myself not to date anyone or settle for less then her..
Now she never wanted to date anyone before she was 18 and even then she had no interest in Guys either way..
We were not the closest friends..and i knew when she turned 18 she was leaving for Australia to go to Hillsong College..
Long Story short..Because I knew I had a better chance at "Getting with her" was if i believed in God..(I was more of a darwinist at the time) so me pretending lead me to actually believing(I turned agnostic then..and it wasn't til i got into Christian Metal that i got turned on fire for Christ)
Well basically i fasted prayed for over 5 years and long story short she fell in love with me <3
We started Courting should i say..a week after her 18 birthday (July 26 2011) and she was going to leave for college..but thank God she got to stay for a few more months and us establish a better relationship..
Well Knowing that^^^^
She has been in Australia since January..
This has been EXTREMELY hard on me since she is literally the only person i have..
It slowly started going to Hell and back..it has been awful..
Mainly the time difference my bad heart..and the fact that she is so busy and a people pleaser.. It was sucky..
Well she gets influenced easily by other people and all the other girs in her house dumped their boyfriends and so on.
Yesterday she told me she is really Confused and doesn't know how she is feeling.. it ripped my heart out Honestly.. So we agreed to take until saturday (Sunday for her) it being the 26th (10 Months) to focus on God and so forth..
Well yesterday i spent 3 hours praying worshiping in my room..sick to my stomach extremely Scared and sad because i didn't want to lose her..
I started having panic/Asthma Attacks..IT WAS AWFUL..
We she wanted me to message her what God says to me..and she do the same..
Well during my Time with God I realized This wasn't God trying to take her away from me.. but basically showing me that Christ shouldn't be in our relationship...Our relationship should be in Christ..basically not worrying about our relationship and just us to seek God together and let him worry about our us..
and she told me to read a verse and to tell her what i got out of it..
basically after i had sent all what God had said to me..
i had to wait until this morning for a reply (24 hours) I was physically sick this whole time..and extremely depressant etc..
and i couldn't sleep because of it..well she messaged me this morning.. and telling me that my interpretation and how God spoke to me through 1 Samuel Made her cry..and everything he said to me he was saying to her in the same..and Basically In only the FIRST DAY of our 4 day God search..My prayers have already been answered and our relationship is TOTALLY brand new and better..
She said "Thank you for not leaving me and doing this with me" and I said "Why wouldn't I? You're the only Physical Proof for God that I have"
And she went to sleep just now..
I'm so stoked to see what God is going to do in the next 3 days!
I'm a walking paradox, No I'm not.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."- Albert Einstein
"rest assured, that with a heart that's pure, we'll be victorious and not let our hate get the best of us" - Stick to Your Guns