The Lord has been moving in my heart, and in the world around me. I'm turning 21 soon and I've grown up in church, known God for all my life. At age 8 I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Saviour. I grew up with a good heart and everything I needed. About 3 years ago I became very deep in sin. I was falling away from the path God had set for me. He intervened about a year ago, allowed me to almost be consumed by the devil's motives. But He set me straight. Put situations and people in my life to get me back on the path He had for me.
I became very close to God again. Plead The Blood of Jesus over my mind, my body and my soul. Started praying more. Reading the Bible daily. Loving others. Surrendering myself. Seeking Him.
Lately He's been moving me in the direction that He wants- rather than my own. Whenever He moves my heart to do something, it always happens... despite doubts I may have had. I've learned to put my faith over my fears. God gave me a personal promise a while ago and soon after allowed everything to go in the opposite direction. I've learned to seek Him first and foremost, I'm not worried about the promise He gave me anymore. I just want to fulfill His plan in my life. So, as I said, He has been moving me out of my comfort zone a lot. Using me to do things I wouldn't normally do. The funny thing is, every time I go into these situations saying, "God, I don't know why you want me to do this... or HOW I'm gunna do it. But if this is what You want, so be it." And EVERY TIME I end up accomplishing what He put on my heart to do. It's like when I surrendered myself and started seeking Him, He started this "journey" with me... where this journey is headed, I don't know. I'm glad that after all I've done God still wants to use me. I suppose it makes sense because Moses was a murderer and God used him to accomplish one of the greatest feats in the Bible.
But as this "journey" progresses, it's like day by day God turns up the heat. The situations I need to overcome seem more and more impossible. There's one in particular, that I keep procrastinating with. Because I'm afraid... Because I'll be misunderstood by someone that I love very much... Because I don't know how I'm going to do it, or why...
So I wake up every day- and every day it's still on my heart to do it. The reason I'm most afraid is that I realize the pattern that's happening here... the more I do for God, the more He tests my faith and obedience, the harder the trials become. I was doing a very good job for a while, but I'm growing a bit weary. I know I can do these things because the Bible says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I don't want to fall off of the faith that I worked so hard to develop. God is testing me and I feel like right now I'm failing that test because of my hesitation. The worst part is that I'm wiser than I'm acting. I know that I should step out in faith and that if The Lord is moving my heart to do something I should do it. The adversity makes everything so much worse and more difficult. I have mountains that need to be moved. And the worst part is people misunderstanding me when I'm just trying to trust God.
I've begun this journey with Christ, towards my destiny that God made for me. Hopefully I'll inherit a promise along the way. But like most journeys there is adversity and road blocks that need to be overcome. Anyone have advice, or maybe a similar experience? Biblical references I can use to be encouraged? Wisdom? Anything?
I appreciate it! God bless you!