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Thread: Does good parenting always matter? (Moved from FIC)

  1. #1
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    Does good parenting always matter? (Moved from FIC)

    I know that God doesn't lie and His Word says that if you train up a child in the path of righteousness he or she will never depart from it. Well, then why does my almost 21 year-old daughter, who was raised as a Christian since she was 13, start dating an unbeliever and start staying the night with him recently? She claims she hasn't had sex with him, but I have a hard time believing that. I'm 41 years-old. I'm not stupid. I'm sure they've had sex. Anyway, I've always raised my daughters with morals, even before I was a Christian. I disciplined them, including the occasional spanking. They were loved and treated good but definitely were not pampered and spoiled. They were not kids that were allowed to run amok like so many kids you see nowadays. So, how come I've apparently "failed" as a parent? What did I not do correctly that I obviously should have done? What does God think of my "lousy" parenting?
    Last edited by Warrior4God; Jun 6th 2012 at 04:53 PM.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Warrior4God View Post
    I know that God doesn't lie and His Word says that if you train up a child in the path of righteousness he or she will never depart from it. Well, then why does my almost 21 year-old daughter, who was raised as a Christian since she was 13, start dating an unbeliever and start staying the night with him recently? She claims she hasn't had sex with him, but I have a hard time believing that. I'm 41 years-old. I'm not stupid. I'm sure they've had sex. Anyway, I've always raised my daughters with morals, even before I was a Christian. I disciplined them, including the occasional spanking. They were loved and treated good but definitely were not pampered and spoiled. They were not kids that ran amok like so many kids you see nowadays. So, how come I've apparently failed as a parent? What did I not do that I obviously should have done? What does God think of my lousy parenting?
    If you taught your child that such action is wrong, then her actions have nothing to do with your parenting... it's all a matter of her listening to your parenting as she was raised properly and being in obedience to what she knows is wrong and not to do it.

    She's failing, not you.
    Slug1--out

    ~Do not quench the Spirit ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:19~

    ~
    "So what hardship are you willing to endure, to see My will accomplished through you?"~

    ~Your relationship isn't knowing "ABOUT" GOD! Relationship is to "KNOW" GOD,
    so that in the end and you stand before Him for the first time in heaven… HE KNOWS YOU~


    ~Do we, as Christians witness Jesus to the lost because we love Jesus? Or do we witness Jesus to the lost because we love them as Jesus loves them?~

    ~A prompting from God means that you are to DO. Thinking, causes you to... NOT DO!~

    ~Being on the tall mountain is where "you" go, to meet with God. Being in the deep valley is where "God" goes, to meet with you!~


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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    I agree with Slug. My parents did a wonderful job raising me. Though I always found a way to get myself in trouble. Arrested, drugs, gangs, kicked out of school, angry mom on an ex chase me out of her house.

    Not my parent's fault I was a bleephead for so many years.

    But thankfully the Lord brought me to Him one day. And he's changed my life. Far from perfect, but thankfully, far from what I was.
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbiKnife View Post
    My purpose here is to both fellowship with my fellow believers, to be challenged with the word, (not with man's opinions), and to protect the innocent and the immature from false shepherd, wolves, crackpots, and self-appointed spiritual authorities from falling prey to those that use scripture for their own agenda without reading and studying scripture in the proper context.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by -SEEKING- View Post
    I agree with Slug. My parents did a wonderful job raising me. Though I always found a way to get myself in trouble. Arrested, drugs, gangs, kicked out of school, angry mom on an ex chase me out of her house.

    Not my parent's fault I was a bleephead for so many years.

    But thankfully the Lord brought me to Him one day. And he's changed my life. Far from perfect, but thankfully, far from what I was.
    That is very encouraging. I raised both my sons in the faith. My oldest is now agnostic and living with his girlfriend. I am trusting the Lord to bring him back and praying for him everyday. He wasn't raised that way.

    Jeanne
    "If we ever forget that we are ONE NATION UNDER GOD, then we will be a nation gone under" ~ Ronald Reagan

    God answers knee mail.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanne D View Post
    That is very encouraging. I raised both my sons in the faith. My oldest is now agnostic and living with his girlfriend. I am trusting the Lord to bring him back and praying for him everyday. He wasn't raised that way.

    Jeanne
    I was in your son's position for a long time.
    Psalm 19:14
    May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
    be pleasing in your sight,
    O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    We know that God's words are true, so, you did not raise them the way God said to raise them.
    Who do we believe, you or God?

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by PJW View Post
    We know that God's words are true, so, you did not raise them the way God said to raise them.
    Who do we believe, you or God?
    Did you know that Billy Graham's son, Franklin went through a rebellious period?

    Are you implying that every child raised in a Christian home will always be perfect? God saw the times we took the boys to church. He saw and heard everytime we had "family time" where we studied the word together and prayed in our living room, night after night. He saw my son raise his arms in praise, and heard my son say that he wanted to become a pastor.
    He saw the tears coming out of both of my sons eyes when they came up out of the water after being baptized.

    Jeanne
    "If we ever forget that we are ONE NATION UNDER GOD, then we will be a nation gone under" ~ Ronald Reagan

    God answers knee mail.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by PJW View Post
    We know that God's words are true, so, you did not raise them the way God said to raise them.
    Who do we believe, you or God?
    You're on a roll dude.
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbiKnife View Post
    My purpose here is to both fellowship with my fellow believers, to be challenged with the word, (not with man's opinions), and to protect the innocent and the immature from false shepherd, wolves, crackpots, and self-appointed spiritual authorities from falling prey to those that use scripture for their own agenda without reading and studying scripture in the proper context.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jeanne D View Post
    Did you know that Billy Graham's son, Franklin went through a rebellious period?

    Are you implying that every child raised in a Christian home will always be perfect? God saw the times we took the boys to church. He saw and heard everytime we had "family time" where we studied the word together and prayed in our living room, night after night. He saw my son raise his arms in praise, and heard my son say that he wanted to become a pastor.
    He saw the tears coming out of both of my sons eyes when they came up out of the water after being baptized.

    Jeanne
    Like I said above, I couldn't have had better parents. It was me that chose to be what I became. But even then, God still sought me and found me and brought me to Him.

    Some people just like to kick someone when they are down, and then there are some that kicking isn't enough, they have to completely squash them.
    Quote Originally Posted by RabbiKnife View Post
    My purpose here is to both fellowship with my fellow believers, to be challenged with the word, (not with man's opinions), and to protect the innocent and the immature from false shepherd, wolves, crackpots, and self-appointed spiritual authorities from falling prey to those that use scripture for their own agenda without reading and studying scripture in the proper context.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by PJW View Post
    We know that God's words are true, so, you did not raise them the way God said to raise them.
    Who do we believe, you or God?
    Proverbs 22
    6 - Train up a child in the way he should go,
    Even when he is old he will not depart from it.


    The verse says even when they are old... as in when they mature. If the foundation is laid, it will remain solid and withstand time, trials and rebellion.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    My take on this is a little different. I don't believe that the Proverbs involving human behavior are iron-clad promises, but more like generalizations and highly important principles to strive for and believe. They are more like standards that we should bear in our homes and uphold.

    Here's an essay by Richard Pratt that explains how I feel about Proverbs.

    Far too many of us who (rightly) renounce the so-called "prosperity gospel" (wrongly) coddle our own little version of it as we focus on our families

    In recent decades, Christian television has spread what many call the “prosperity gospel” — the misguided belief that if we have enough faith, God will heal our diseases and provide us with great financial blessings. Of course, most people reading this article scoff at the thought that faith can yield such benefits. But don’t laugh too hard.

    We have our own prosperity gospel for our families. We simply replace having enough faith with having enough obedience. We believe that we can lift our families out of their brokenness if we conform to God’s commands.

    You’ve probably encountered this outlook at one time or another.

    Teachers and pastors tell wives that they will enjoy wonderful relationships with their husbands and children if they will become “an excellent wife” (Proverbs 31:10). After all, Proverbs 31:28 says: “Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her.”

    At men’s conferences, fathers recommit themselves for the sake of their children because “the righteous who walks in his integrity — blessed are his children after him!” (Proverbs 20:7).

    In much the same way, young parents are led to believe that the eternal destinies of their children depend on strict and consistent training. You know the verse: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6).

    Passages like these have been taken as indicating that Christian families experience blessings and loss from God, quid pro quo. We believe that God promises a wonderful family life to those who obey his commands.

    Now, we need to be clear here. The proverbs commend certain paths to family members because they reflect the ways God ordinarily distributes his blessings. But ordinarily does not mean necessarily. Excellent wives have good reason to expect honor from their husbands and children. Fathers with integrity often enjoy seeing God’s blessings on their children. Parents who train their children in the fear of the Lord follow the path that frequently brings children to saving faith.

    But excellent wives, faithful husbands, and conscientious parents often endure terrible hardship in their homes because proverbs are not promises. They are adages that direct us toward general principles that must be applied carefully in a fallen world where life is always somewhat out of kilter.

    As the books of Job and Ecclesiastes illustrate so vividly, we misconstrue the Word of God when we treat proverbs as if they were divine promises
    ".....it's your nickel"

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by PJW View Post
    We know that God's words are true, so, you did not raise them the way God said to raise them.
    Who do we believe, you or God?
    Ya know, I get that anytime I post here I open myself up to criticism, which may or may not be warranted, but I figure if people are going to pop off they should at least have the gonads to back up why they're saying what they're saying instead of just doing childish and completely useless drive-by's. Interesting opinion that you have. So, when my daughters misbehaved or talked back as kids, I wasn't supposed to discipline them? Because that's exactly what I did, I disciplined them, including spankings at times. I apparently was supposed to just ignore it? Ooops. I wasn't supposed to punish them when I found out they shoplifted when they were younger? I guess I messed up again because I did punish them for stealing. I also made them apologize, in person, to the store owners of the stores they stole from. Perhaps I should have instead given them pointers on how to be more sneaky when they wanted to steal? I wasn't supposed to tell them not to have sex until they were married? Sorry, I told them numerous times that sex was to happen only when they were married. Perhaps I should have instead given them some pornography to watch for ideas to try out and given them some condoms for the boys to use with my blessings? Ok, sorry God. I now know that good parenting, according to PJW on this forum, means I'm not supposed to discipline my children or instill morals, things of which I am quite guilty of doing. I should have let them talk back, steal, and have sex in their teen years. I've failed you, Lord. Please forgive me?
    Last edited by Warrior4God; Jun 6th 2012 at 05:55 PM.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Warrior4God View Post
    Ya know, I get that anytime I post here I open myself up to criticism, which may or may not be warranted, but I figure if people are going to pop off they should at least have the gonads to back up why they're saying what they're saying instead of just doing childish and completely useless drive-by's. Interesting opinion that you have. So, when my daughters misbehaved or talked back as kids, I wasn't supposed to discipline them? Because that's exactly what I did, I disciplined them, including spankings at times. I apparently was supposed to just ignore it? Ooops. I wasn't supposed to punish them when I found out they shoplifted when they were younger? I guess I messed up again because I did punish them for stealing. I also made them apologize, in person, to the store owners of the stores they stole from. Perhaps I should have instead given them pointers on how to be more sneaky when they wanted to steal? I wasn't supposed to tell them not to have sex until they were married? Sorry, I told them numerous times that sex was to happen only when they were married. Perhaps I should have instead given them some pornography to watch for ideas to try out and given them some condoms for the boys to use with my blessings? Ok, sorry God. I now know that good parenting, according to PJW on this forum, means I'm not supposed to discipline my children or instill morals, things of which which I am quite guilty of doing. I should have let them talk back, steal, and have sex in their teen years. I've failed you, Lord. Please forgive me?
    Dude... you can discern posts that are of God compared to those that are not. Disregard those that are not because when you address the ones that are not of God, God isn't glorified.

    If you are led to address posts that are not of God, then do it the same way that Jesus addressed satan in the desert... with scripture. THEN, God is glorified! Scripture may be returned in reply the SAME way that satan did with Jesus, BUT as it always is... it will be out of context. So just use scripture, in proper context as Jesus did and God is glorified.
    Slug1--out

    ~Do not quench the Spirit ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:19~

    ~
    "So what hardship are you willing to endure, to see My will accomplished through you?"~

    ~Your relationship isn't knowing "ABOUT" GOD! Relationship is to "KNOW" GOD,
    so that in the end and you stand before Him for the first time in heaven… HE KNOWS YOU~


    ~Do we, as Christians witness Jesus to the lost because we love Jesus? Or do we witness Jesus to the lost because we love them as Jesus loves them?~

    ~A prompting from God means that you are to DO. Thinking, causes you to... NOT DO!~

    ~Being on the tall mountain is where "you" go, to meet with God. Being in the deep valley is where "God" goes, to meet with you!~


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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slug1 View Post
    Dude... you can discern posts that are of God compared to those that are not. Disregard those that are not because when you address the ones that are not of God, God isn't glorified.

    If you are led to address posts that are not of God, then do it the same way that Jesus addressed satan in the desert... with scripture. THEN, God is glorified! Scripture may be returned in reply the SAME way that satan did with Jesus, BUT as it always is... it will be out of context. So just use scripture, in proper context as Jesus did and God is glorified.
    God wasn't assaulted by PJW in post #6, I was. I defended myself. What does that have to do with God? I may not have been the perfect parent, but I think I did a damn good job overall, thank you very much. I disciplined my kids and instilled morals and values. I wasn't lenient, unconcerned, and uninvolved like a lot of parents are nowadays. In fact, if anything, I was probably a little more stricter and nosy at times than I needed to be. It just gets under my skin when people who don't know me personally can say I was a crappy parent and not even bother to show exactly how I allegedly was other than to just spit out some stupid vague statement and use the word "God" in it in an attempt to validate their view.

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    Re: Does good parenting always matter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Warrior4God View Post
    God wasn't assaulted by PJW in post #6, I was. I defended myself. What does that have to do with God? I may not have been the perfect parent, but I think I did a damn good job overall, thank you very much. I disciplined my kids and instilled morals and values. I wasn't lenient, unconcerned, and uninvolved like a lot of parents are nowadays. In fact, if anything, I was probably a little more stricter and nosy at times than I needed to be. It just gets under my skin when people who don't know me personally can say I was a crappy parent and not even bother to show exactly how I allegedly was other than to just spit out some stupid vague statement and use the word "God" in it in an attempt to validate their view.
    I've no doubt you were and still are a wonderful parent. What PJW said was rude, however we know that God knows what we did as parents.
    That's all that really matters.

    Jeanne
    "If we ever forget that we are ONE NATION UNDER GOD, then we will be a nation gone under" ~ Ronald Reagan

    God answers knee mail.

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