loving a sociopath?

[In Dust and Ashes]

That mindset has always bothered me. And after reading Cross-Cultural Connections, I've realized that it's bothered me because it's a very western, individualistic mindset. I'm not a western, individualistic person. I'm a third culture kid with a collectivist mindset. Meaning, I am not my own person. And being cut off from someone is pretty much the worst thing I can think of.

[In Dust and Ashes]

And by "kid" I mean adult, but raised as a third culture kid.

[Dani H]

And being cut off from someone is pretty much the worst thing I can think of.

This lady is already cutting herself off by her own choices. Maybe help her try and understand it? Collectivist mindset is all nice and well but if you're hurting people in the community you are a part of, then you're going to have to learn how to not do that. The community ought to stand together around this person and agree to teach her in order to bring restoration. That's how things are supposed to work. Don't cut people off for small stupid things, but if there is real harm being done, why allow it to continue? That's not fair to everyone else. Sometimes you gotta turn people loose to help them understand what life is like when those you took for granted, aren't there anymore, so that hopefully you'll come to your senses, get over yourself, and learn to relate to people properly and be part of the community again.

So then maybe it would be more comfortable to you, to talk to your friend and her parents and others, and see if y'all can come up with a game plan together since her behavior is affecting all of you.

[Indueseason]

If your friend really is a socio-path, then she is not in control of her actions. She does not understand what it means to hurt someone emotionally. She does not display a conscious, as such, holds no moral values. It isn't nastiness, she just can't behave differently. Her emotional, and experiential understanding is different from ours. Unless a professional has said that she is not a socio path, then please don't treat her as a bad person. She won't be able to rationalize it. Don't trust her, but don't make it obvious. Don't believe her, but don't make a big deal about her lies.

She needs to be diagnosed, because the way you react to her behaviour is different, if she isn't a socio path.

blessings to you

[amazzin]

What would Christian counsellors do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.
Unless, of course, they ask for help. Then begins the peeling of the onion - one layer at a time - with much tears eminating from the person asking for help

[Saved7]

I have a number of sociopaths in my life. ONe of which is a teenager, my child. But I believe she is finally growing out of this.
Her dad, who I left when she was 2, is a severe sociopath, lacking any conscience. He only got worse too as he got himself involved in drugs. The thing about this behavior is you never know if there is real change until you see them telling the truth when it doesn't benefit them, when it even hurts them. It's extreme selfishness is what it boils down to...because it's extremely self serving, and these individuals care only for their own happiness and the only time they care about the happiness and welfare of others is when it benefits themselves. You know you've made a break through when you see they care about the welfare of another even when it costs them something and they don't even get notoriety for it.

My daughter is growing out of it and I can only give credit to the Lord for it. A number of years ago, I had a dream that sat with me for years and I didn't understand what it meant until she got so bad the imagery of the dream came flooding back. I dreamed that she was possessed by satan and filled with covetousness/lust and but I didn't realize it in the dream that her behavior was linked to satan until I nearly punched her. Then it struck me that she had to be exorcised.
I say all this to say that when the imagery came back to me, she was at her worst, lying and manipulating and playing the victim, all the while trying to destroy my marriage so she could move back to Michigan. When I was good and ready to destroy her for her behavior I realized that she is being influenced by evil spirits. Not that she was truly possessed, but that she had not ever guarded her heart and mind with the Word and true faith. So she was easily influenced by any person who gave her bad ideas, she was also being influenced by evil spirits, as they try to influence us all, by whispers that we don't register with our ears but our minds hear it and if there is bitterness in our hearts or any bad ground those things go straight to our hearts and we respond with wicked behavior. That was her, there were spirits whispering in her ears, and wicked people speaking into her life. No matter how much speaking into her life I was doing, it did little good because she was not receiving it. So, I prayed, I prayed against those spirits, I prayed that God would protect her ears and her eyes, her heart and her mind from evil spiritual influences and from the words that are being spoken to her that are causing her to be angry and deceptive. I prayed that her heart be protected from the deceptions of wicked people and evil spirits.

BREAK THROUGH! Within a few weeks I noticed a huge difference! She even began to show a little bit of maturity in her faith, as much as any normal teen would.

So in short, I suggest you pray against those evil spirits and the words of the wicked people. And pray that she have strength to resist temptation of any drugs she may be doing. Pray that she sees the danger her soul is in because of what she has been doing.

[In Dust and Ashes]

What would Christian counsellors do? Nothing, absolutely nothing.

I asked "What do christian counselors SUGGEST FOR DEALING WITH..." oh never mind.

I'm using this website as a guide. If anyone knows why I shouldn't listen to their advice, let me know:
http://www.truthaboutdeception.com/l...be-honest.html

And thank you, Saved7 for your story. It gives me hope.