I LOST MY APARTMENT IN A FIRE AND IT TOOK MY BEST FRIEND A MONTH TO CALL ME

[HollyRock]

I was both hurt and shocked at how long it took my best friend to call me and when she did, she did'nt even ask me about the fire or how I was doing. As I recall, it took her a long time to call me when my husband died. I know that she loves me (at least I think she does). I just don't understand it and it has put a tremendous strain on our friendship. Maybe my tragedies were more than she could bear emotionally and was waiting until things settled down - and if that's the case, then at least I would have known the reason. We still talk every once in a while but I do it mostly out of obligation. Comments and prayers appreciated.

[TomH]

Sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your best friend.

As I've seen happen before, there's simply a difference in how best friends handle bad situations. I can understand your position, expecting a friend to be there when they hear you're in trouble.

In your friends defense, and I'm one of those people, I expect a close, or best, friend to call when they need me.

Best friends do not jump into a sensitive situation unless they're asked.

We have friends who, in the past, were about to face a difficulty. Our response is, "you know that you can call me anytime. If there's anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask."

Perhaps your friend is one of us, and was waiting for that (expected) call for help.

A best friend, above all else, will respect your privacy. And friendship works both ways.

As a parent of grown children would do, they're always there when that call comes in. Otherwise, allow them the space.

So maybe your best friend is indeed, being a best friend.

[BrianW]

Mod note:

I'm moving this thread over to the Counseling section and sending prayers for you along with it.

[HollyRock]

Mod note:

I'm moving this thread over to the Counseling section and sending prayers for you along with it.

Thank you so much Brian W. for your prayers !!!

[BrianW]

You're welcome. I just wish I had some kind of advise for you but I would be feeling the exact same way you are right now if I were in your situation. I would just pray for God to keep the love and forgiving grace in your heart and remember that other people are the way they are and not they way we want them to be.

God bless.

[nimrod]

We meet different people in life who share different things with us.

Some people close to us might just not be able to deal with that kind of thing. Sometimes the person who might help us through a difficult time might be a relative stranger.

I hope that you have someone to help you through this time but as for this friend - maybe enjoy your relationship with her for what it is, and appreciate that one friend can't be everything to you?

[HollyRock]

Thanks to everyone for your thoughtful comments and prayers. God was listening because I just got off the phone with my best friend Juanita, and after I hung up, I suddenly realized that she really does love me...and that is enough. Thanks again guys for your prayers...

[Reynolds357]

I was both hurt and shocked at how long it took my best friend to call me and when she did, she did'nt even ask me about the fire or how I was doing. As I recall, it took her a long time to call me when my husband died. I know that she loves me (at least I think she does). I just don't understand it and it has put a tremendous strain on our friendship. Maybe my tragedies were more than she could bear emotionally and was waiting until things settled down - and if that's the case, then at least I would have known the reason. We still talk every once in a while but I do it mostly out of obligation. Comments and prayers appreciated.

I think I would move her to the status of "acquaintance" and move someone more deserving into the place of "best freind."

[Diggindeeper]

HollyRock, I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, but I do want to let you know I am so sorry about the death of your husband. That is earth shattering enough, and now the fire. I am just so sorry you've had to go through all this. I hope you do have family and others who have helped you get through both sad things in your life.

Are you safe, and did you lose everything in the fire? I'll be praying for you, Sweetie. You've had more than your share of devastation! I really, really pray nothing else so bad happens to you....

[HollyRock]

HollyRock, I don't have any great words of wisdom for you, but I do want to let you know I am so sorry about the death of your husband. That is earth shattering enough, and now the fire. I am just so sorry you've had to go through all this. I hope you do have family and others who have helped you get through both sad things in your life.

Are you safe, and did you lose everything in the fire? I'll be praying for you, Sweetie. You've had more than your share of devastation! I really, really pray nothing else so bad happens to you....

Thank you sooo much for your words of comfort. I was able to save some things from the fire but what I miss the most are my pictures. My family lives in another State but they wired me money. I'm usually at home, but on the day of the fire, I had a Doctor's appointment and "I just so happen" to have my favorite Bible safely with me. God brought me through the fire and continues to bless me in my new place. Thank you again for your words of support, they really mean alot to me.

[Indueseason]

I'm so glad you sorted things out with your friend, some people just don't know how to deal with these kind of things. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my best friend disappeared! We normally saw each other almost daily,but she vanished for a month! I was so hurt at her actions,that when I really needed her,she wasn't there for me.Then I heard from another friend, that she had been so upset at my diagnoses, that she cried for a week and was sure I would die. She didn't want to come see me,because she would be too negative and upset.She didn't want to make things harder for me.Thankfully we sorted it out, but we all deal with things differently, and sometimes our family or friends let us down,not because they don't care, but because they care too much!

I can understand at your sadness about losing your photo's. I had to flee from my home a few years ago, and had to leave everything behind. I had some photo's stored on my netbook, but lost many precious photo's.

I am glad that the Lord is blessing you in your new place, I pray He will continue to do so.

blessings to you

[HollyRock]

I think I would move her to the status of "acquaintance" and move someone more deserving into the place of "best freind."

For a long time I felt like my friend WAS just an "aquaintance" and I truly wanted to delete her from my life. I would cringe whenever she called me...I had bitterness in my heart which I knew God was'nt pleased with so I have decided to entrust our friendship to Him and whatever role we play in each other's life I put in His hands. All I can do is be the best friend that I can be and leave room for dissappointments. I smiled when I read your post because you hit the nail right on the head. I thank God for softening my heart and relieving me of all that stress. His way is always best...I just could'nt see it through the hurt and anger.

[HollyRock]

I'm so glad you sorted things out with your friend, some people just don't know how to deal with these kind of things. When I was diagnosed with cancer, my best friend disappeared! We normally saw each other almost daily,but she vanished for a month! I was so hurt at her actions,that when I really needed her,she wasn't there for me.Then I heard from another friend, that she had been so upset at my diagnoses, that she cried for a week and was sure I would die. She didn't want to come see me,because she would be too negative and upset.She didn't want to make things harder for me.Thankfully we sorted it out, but we all deal with things differently, and sometimes our family or friends let us down,not because they don't care, but because they care too much!

I can understand at your sadness about losing your photo's. I had to flee from my home a few years ago, and had to leave everything behind. I had some photo's stored on my netbook, but lost many precious photo's.

I am glad that the Lord is blessing you in your new place, I pray He will continue to do so.

blessings to you

Hi Indueseason, I pray that your health has returned 100%. Your testimony about your friend and how and why she dissappeared helped me to understand my friend even better. God is the God of reconciliation and second chances of which we both are recipients of. I'm sorry for the pictures you lost...of course I know how you feel. Thank God for helping and guiding us both through challenging times and we're still here to tell the story...the devil is a liar...we win !!!