I feel like breaking down..

[HopeSparkles]

For the first time in my life, I am trying to surrender my will under the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

I have had a lot of bad things happen in my life even as a child that make me full of shame and regret. My heart is heavy with pain and sorrow. I am constantly in fear of what I don't know just yet.

I take the things I've done seriously, and with full accountability. I am concerned that hope is lost for me, and I feel my self constantly trying to regain balance back into my life. It's just so hard to deal with pent up regrets, I don't know how to cope with it anymore. My situation probably is not as severe as other's on this forum, so if this becomes unanswered I will understand, and bless the ones who are going through tougher times than I right now.

I just feel alone right now, and I need someone to talk to about Jesus and my standing with him.

[IMINXTC]

Hello, HopeSparkles, and welcome to the board

Might I ask if your present distress concerns unresolved things in the past, as it appears to in your post, and do you feel you have a full understanding of what Jesus did for you and I on the cross?

Lord Bless,
Stephen

[HopeSparkles]

Dear Stephen,

THANK-YOU for your reply. I very much appreciate the time you took to even look at my post.

My distress comes from a whole life of sin that has not been accounted for ( I believe ).

I've started reading the bible. So I am not entirely sure if I understand the concept of what Jesus did for me on the Cross. If I had to give an estimate based on what I've been told and what I can understand so far, I would say:
Jesus came to us as a humble man without power over the people, so that he could live how the under privileged lived. So that he could experience great sorrow from the troubles poverty brings, and also experience great joy and love. He was despised by everyone who thought he was a blasphemer to the high council? They wouldn't listen that he was preaching the word of God, and so they punished him brutally that of a notorious criminal, and made him carry his own cross to the destination to where he would be executed. He underwent so much pain, hate towards him, but he never lost his faith. Out of all this, I believe he underwent the torture of execution, hate, ect. Out of pure love for every one of those people and future people to come, so that they can start anew and be accounted for their own transgressions.

I am not sure if I am right, but it's what I have believed so far. Either way, I appreciate him for the great sacrifice he made and the pain he had to endure for me.
What makes him a noble person in my mind is that he chose to do this, and was not forced upon to do it.

[HopeSparkles]

I just feel very shamed, and cannot barely look at myself in the mirror anymore. I feel lost in an unknown vessel. I feel like I am being sucked into a void, and I can't grasp anything solid to stay from going under. I just feel like crying.

[jayne]

Hi HopeSparkles - Welcome to the forums.

Let me tell you a story.

When I was about 2 or 3 years old, I went to my grandmother's house to visit. She had bought me a toy wooden duck with a little rope attached that I could pull on its little wheels. I was delighted. I began to pull the little duck and he began to QUACK quite unceremoniously at me. The motion of the wheels caused a mechansim inside to make the sound and open the mouth up and down. All I know is that it scared the crap out of me. So - I began to run as fast as my little legs would go, but that cursed duck kept following me. And the faster that I toddled around her house, the faster the quacking got. I was terrified.

You see, I didn't know to let go of the rope.

All I could do was to run to my Mama who was laughing at me. She took my little hand and said, "Drop the rope and he won't chase you anymore." I must say it was quite the epiphany.


Well, you are suffering from what so many people - including myself - suffer from and have suffered from. Shame, remorse, regret, and despair. They follow you like a cancer in your spirit. These feelings are painful and we struggle - I've struggled in my own and even recent past - in shedding these awful burdens.

You see, it's a horrible place to be because it's exactly where the devil wants you to be. Suffering and burdened. God wants you restored and at peace.

The Bible says this. 1 John 1:9 = "But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness."

Have you confessed these issues to God? Even if some of these things weren't your fault, have you confessed allowing these events to overshadow you and tear you down? Then there is the greatest confession of all. The confession that leads to salvation. Romans 10:9-10 = "Because, if you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved." Have you become a Christian?
The Bible also says that repentance is necessary. That goes beyond confession. Jeremiah 15:19 = "Therefore this is what the Lord says, 'If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me.'"

Repentance is turning away and changing our behavior. Have you done this?

And once we have confessed and repented, then God does NOT hold our past and forgiven sins against us. Isaiah 43:25 = "I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more."

If God has forgiven you and you have repented and been restored to Him, then please don't drag the shame and remorse around like I did that little duck.

I know that's easy for me to say and not so easy to do. But I have BEEN THERE and you'd be wonderfully surprised how easy it really it to let go of that metaphorical and evil rope of bondage to the past. It takes a DAILY effort and sometimes an HOURLY effort. But Psalm 32:1-2 says that this is where happiness can be found. "Blessed (happy) is he whose transgressions are forgiven, who sins are covered. Blessed (happy) is the man whose sin the Lord doesn't count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit."

Finally - take on Paul's attitude where he says in Philippians 3 = "Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

This is something that you can control. You can choose to let go or not. It won't be simple, but it's necessary.

[IMINXTC]

Dear Stephen,

THANK-YOU for your reply. I very much appreciate the time you took to even look at my post.

My distress comes from a whole life of sin that has not been accounted for ( I believe ).

I've started reading the bible. So I am not entirely sure if I understand the concept of what Jesus did for me on the Cross. If I had to give an estimate based on what I've been told and what I can understand so far, I would say:
Jesus came to us as a humble man without power over the people, so that he could live how the under privileged lived. So that he could experience great sorrow from the troubles poverty brings, and also experience great joy and love. He was despised by everyone who thought he was a blasphemer to the high council? They wouldn't listen that he was preaching the word of God, and so they punished him brutally that of a notorious criminal, and made him carry his own cross to the destination to where he would be executed. He underwent so much pain, hate towards him, but he never lost his faith. Out of all this, I believe he underwent the torture of execution, hate, ect. Out of pure love for every one of those people and future people to come, so that they can start anew and be accounted for their own transgressions.

I am not sure if I am right, but it's what I have believed so far. Either way, I appreciate him for the great sacrifice he made and the pain he had to endure for me.
What makes him a noble person in my mind is that he chose to do this, and was not forced upon to do it.

While what you say is true, HopeSparkles, the Bible, which is the believer's authority, makes it clear: Jesus went willingly to the cross in order to pay for yours and my sins, so that we can obtain forgiveness and receive the gift of eternal life.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

" This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1John 1:5-10.

So while you and I rightly loathe and regret our sins, to fully understand and believe what Jesus did on the cross is to recieve His forgiveness and allow Him to take our sin and guilt forever away. No mere religion here - salvation is real and it is a gift.

Do you believe this?

[HopeSparkles]

Thank you Jayne, I feel a bit better. I have not confessed nor repented I don't know how. I prayed to God the other day for almost an hour I'd say. My sins though are considered to as I heard "deadly"? Are these unforgiveable?
I believe I am addicted to Ciggarettes and I smoke marijuana for medicinal purposes. I am not sure if those are sinful to God, but at times they help me.
How do I confess my sins? How do I repent? I am so confused on these topics.
Will God know I'm sincere? If I repeat a sin that I've repented how can I make it up to my lord?

I feel like I'm trying, but something is holding me back from letting loose and embracing this love and truth that everyone is speaking of.

[HopeSparkles]

While what you say is true, HopeSparkles, the Bible, which is the believer's authority, makes it clear: Jesus went willingly to the cross in order to pay for yours and my sins, so that we can obtain forgiveness and receive the gift of eternal life.

"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

" This then is the message which we have heard of him, and declare unto you, that God is light, and in him is no darkness at all. If we say that we have fellowship with him, and walk in darkness, we lie, and do not the truth: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us." 1John 1:5-10.

So while you and I rightly loathe and regret our sins, to fully understand and believe what Jesus did on the cross is to recieve His forgiveness and allow Him to take our sin and guilt forever away. No mere religion here - salvation is real and it is a gift.

Do you believe this?

So out of pure love he willingly sacrificed himself to absolve us from sin, so that in clearer aspects we have a closer relationship with God through Jesus Christ?

[IMINXTC]

So out of pure love he willingly sacrificed himself to absolve us from sin, so that in clearer aspects we have a closer relationship with God through Jesus Christ?

This is exactly what He did and it describes the Gospel in it's most unshakeable terms. However, our relationship with God the Father through Christ is much, much more than merely closer. It is an intimate, eternal relationship He wants for us and freely gives us.

"But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:"1:12

Good News Indeed

[HopeSparkles]

So just by acknowledging and believing that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, already puts me in somewhat good standing with the Lord Almighty?

[IMINXTC]

So just by acknowledging and believing that Jesus died on the cross for my sins, already puts me in somewhat good standing with the Lord Almighty?

"Verily, verily, I say unto you, He that heareth my word, and believeth on him that sent me, hath everlasting life, and shall not come into condemnation; but is passed from death unto life." John 5:24

"For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast" Ephesians 2:8

Yes, you recieve His forgiveness and salvation through faith.

[HopeSparkles]

How do I confess my sins? And how to I repent? And if I repent and repeat the sin? Do I have to re-repent and or confess? Will Jesus and God know I am sincere even if I do not know if I am sincere? And also, how will I know if I am truly forgiven? Will the burden of my distress fade?

[IMINXTC]

To confess your sins is to acknowledge them or to admit to them. And repentence is a change of heart where it concerns sin.

Jesus paid the price in full on the cross for you and I and wants us to recieve eternal life by faith. You have already expressed your loathing for sin here and that is what the scripture is talkiing about.

Jesus desires that we allow Him, by faith, to remove our guilt and, therefore, our distress over sin.

"But now in Christ Jesus ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ." Ephesians 2:13

You recieve forgiveness and love by faith in the finished work of Christ on the cross. If you believe, you will know it, I dare say

[HopeSparkles]

Is there any way that I could talk to you or Jayne in PM? you two have opened up to me and I feel closer to you because I have confided in you, and you both let me without criticism.

[IMINXTC]

I don't know if you are able to PM yet, because you are a new member, but feel free to email me:



I'll delete this address from this thread in a little while.


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