Dress codes and churches.

[chad]

Although you may not feel comfortable going to church, it doesn't mean you have to miss out. Now days, they have church on TV as well as Christian Radio where you can enjoy sermons, teachings, christian music all from home which can help build your faith. And yes, there is of course Internet Forums, where you can fellowship online with other believers.

The important thing is that you keep going in the faith, keep growing in God and letting God work in your life. As for dress, I think in the NT, the only requirement was that people dress modestly (1 Tim 2:9).

Maybe if you can find a small group near you that you can fellowship with, that may be a good idea or you can start your own group with a few Christian friends who live near to you?

[Dani H]

Well the only thing I can tell you is keep looking and keep trying. Pray about it and ask God to show you where a good fit is. Your fear of judgment should not prevent you from fellowshipping. Maybe we can find a thousand reasons to judge each other, but the command to love each other still stands regardless. Just find a church with a casual dress code and go. Gogo. Lose your fear of people by striking up relationships based on love which casts out fear.

[chad]

DivaD,

When the time is right and if you feel you would want to return to a church and fellowship with other brothers and sisters in Christ, then maybe a small church would be more appropriate. You could go with friends and people that you know and trust. That may make it easier. Meanwhile, you would be welcome to fellowship with me at my table anytime. Umm maybe a bit difficult as I probably live on the other side of the world, but you would still be welcome.

[mailmandan]

Absolutely keep praying about it, keep looking and keep trying. Sound advice from Dani H. I myself started out as a new Christian a bit disgusted with other Christians at the first church that my wife and I attended. How people dressed was a huge issue with them. At first everyone seemed to be very loving and sincere, but as time went on, I began to see where too many people there were judgmental, mean spirited and self righteous. That church pushed for men to wear suits and women to wear dresses that extended down to their ankles. If you showed up in church wearing anything else, you usually got unaccepting looks from others. We didn't last very long at that church and I even remember turning to my wife during a service soon before we left that church and said to her, "saved or not saved people are still people!" I soon discovered though that not every church is like that. We visited several other churches until we found one that was a good fit for us. Where I attend church now, some people dress up and others dress more casual. I'm yet to see anyone make a big deal about it either way. Small groups are especially good for people who may be introverted. It's much easier to be open and have discussions with a small group of people rather than a large group. I've had conversations with other Christians who have expressed the same concerns that you have so don't feel like you are the Lone Ranger. Thank you for being open and honest about this in your thread.

[divaD]

I've been thinking about this long and hard lately. Maybe I'm not being entirely honest with myself. Maybe it's not just about clothes, or phobias or anything, tho what I have said about those things are true in my case. I think I am just turned off by brick and mortar churches in general. All the division within these churches, when we're supposed to be united as one in the body of Christ. I just feel like one is in bondage when one goes to church. why? When I see folks arguing over different POVs concerning Scriptures, it's obvious to me that most don't have the freedom to see what the Bible says for itself, because they let their church decide what the Bible is saying for them. This is not true in all cases, but it's certainly true in many cases. I have especially observed this on other boards. Then you have all kinds of false doctrines being taught in churches, which is another thing I'd rather stay clear of. Why would I want to go to church, any church, if some of what they may be teaching, I'm convinced that it's false doctrine? But anyway, this all leads to divisions within churches. The churches are usually divided over doctrines. And it seems hypocritical to me, the fact no church would be entirely correct concerning all the doctrines they might teach. Some of their doctrines may be spot on, while some of their doctrines may not. But me, I'm free of all that mess. I no longer am in bondage to any church doctrines, because I can now for the first time in my life, think for myself. But at least if I am wrong about some things, I have no one to blame but myself. Can't blame it on my church that's for sure.

But the truth is, I've been fine with myself since not attending church. I honestly in no way think God is going to judge me harshly for this. But there's that sticky at the top of the thread that has been haunting me for quite some time. I'm a member of other boards. No sticky like that on their boards. I would think if one wants to get folks back into churches, there would be a better way of doing and saying it...a more humbling way at least. When I read that sticky, I felt guilty for even posting at all on this board...and still do. Try looking at it from my perspective. It's like, only folks that go to church can really understand the Bible, while those that don't, they really can't. But the way I'm looking at it, at least I am now free to think for myself, and I don't have the church doing my thinking for me anymore like I used to. I love the people here. I love discussing things with folks here, more than any other board I'm a member of. So why isn't any of this fellowshipping in a sense? If i were on other boards(non Christian boards) discussing the latest porn movies with others' of the same interests, which BTW I absolutely am not, wouldn't many consider that fellowshipping with evil? If so, and that was true, shouldn't one be considered to be fellowshipping with good, if they are discussing various things on this board bibleforums.org?

Sometimes I just wish I could quit while I were ahead. I can just see myself leading to trouble with this board, the fact I'm really trying to be honest here. Hopefully, I'm not leading myself into trouble here, because I do highly respect this board and it's staff, and try my best to follow the rules of the board. But the question in my mind is, is going to church one of the rules of this board?

[andrew_no_one]

I think that sometimes we can make a big deal about nothing...if someone is more comfortable if i wear a bow tie to church....and they're willing to buy me one..........why not?

[tango]

I think that sometimes we can make a big deal about nothing...if someone is more comfortable if i wear a bow tie to church....and they're willing to buy me one..........why not?

My concern with that would be the setting of a precedent that someone else can dictate how I live my life and how I present myself.

If some wealthy individual in the church feels that everybody should wear Armani suits and so hands over the money so everybody can buy themselves an Armani suit, is that a problem? Maybe not, for some it might be nice to have someone else buy them a nice suit. But what message does it send out, if not that anyone can pull whatever strings they want as long as they pay for it? What if that rich person decided the ladies would look so much nicer in short skirts, or tight tops?

On top of that, what message does it send out to the lost if everyone in the church dresses in a prescribed manner, and that person is desperately seeking God but comes to consider themselves unworthy of mixing with these incredibly well-dressed people because the only clothes they have are dirty jeans and patchy T-shirts?

[andrew_no_one]

My concern with that would be the setting of a precedent that someone else can dictate how I live my life and how I present myself.

If some wealthy individual in the church feels that everybody should wear Armani suits and so hands over the money so everybody can buy themselves an Armani suit, is that a problem? Maybe not, for some it might be nice to have someone else buy them a nice suit. But what message does it send out, if not that anyone can pull whatever strings they want as long as they pay for it? What if that rich person decided the ladies would look so much nicer in short skirts, or tight tops?

On top of that, what message does it send out to the lost if everyone in the church dresses in a prescribed manner, and that person is desperately seeking God but comes to consider themselves unworthy of mixing with these incredibly well-dressed people because the only clothes they have are dirty jeans and patchy T-shirts?

That's a good point.
I once noted that Horatius Bonar wrote that when we come to the cross, the only thing we can bring with us is our sin...because that is all we own.

[Gilligan]

In the summer I wear jeans, t-shirt, and sandals to church. In winter I wear jeans and sweatshirt. I just make sure they are clean.

[andrew_no_one]

In the summer I wear jeans, t-shirt, and sandals. In winter I wear jeans and sweatshirt. I just make sure they are clean.

I don't think I've ever seen Gilligan without his hat! BTW they have Escape from Gilliagan's Island free in the movie section of youtube

[Gilligan]

I don't think I've ever seen Gilligan without his hat! BTW they have Escape from Gilliagan's Island free in the movie section of youtube

I have watched it several times and have it on DVD. One of the funnist movies ever. Do you remember when the Skipper asked me what is dumber than varnishing the seat of a chair, and my response?

[andrew_no_one]

I have watched it several times and have it on DVD. One of the funnist movies ever. Do you remember when the Skipper asked me what is dumber than varnishing the seat of a chair, and my response?

I figured you would
No, I don't know.....tell me?

[Gilligan]

I figured you would
No, I don't know.....tell me?

Sitting in a chair that's just been varnished. Guess what happened when I pulled the chair off afterward?

[andrew_no_one]

Sitting in a chair that's just been varnished. Guess what happened when I pulled the chair off afterward?

bahahahahahahahahaha....a dress code mishap!

[Gilligan]

bahahahahahahahahaha....a dress code mishap!

To say the least.